I thought all day, once, about the difference between crows and ravens while I watched a big black bird take a shit , perched above the ground. Where am I going with my life? I asked the telephone wire it stood on, but the voices it carried were too busy for pause.

I know a girl who sits like a lady and eats dinner with a white linen napkin folded ( Read more... )

For a second it feels like summer. Frogs are alive again. Crickets are raising hell. There are no shoes on my feet.

And then it's all over.

The silence is so deep it buries me.

So I step outside to start the only things I know I can finish.  Because it will look like the season I want there.

The bottle doesn't open easily and the lighter takes a dent ( Read more... )

It's a perfect day to waste feeling unexplainable. And sad.

It's a perfect day.

ME:

Someone is taking machines and clearing a space to live. Isn't that where you live?

SHADOW:

....

ME:

You're making it hard for people to take me seriously. No one trusts me when you make faces like that.

SHADOW:

....

ME:

Could you teach me to dance on walls?

SHADOW:

....

ME:

Please don't go. There are ways for me to stop you. I read it in a book one time.

( Read more... )

That's what you used it for. Until one day when there was so much pressure that it turned hard and clear and bent light in all kinds of weird ways. Then it was mostly used to look at, except that it could cut glass, and that was a pretty good party trick.

I wonder how you are all the time. And there are so many people to wonder about. Would it be so different if we knew one another in a different sort of life? Or would it be exactly the same? Something I wished for but couldn't quite have.

I felt it coming on today in the grocery store. It's creeping up from the bottoms of my shoes. My knees feel ( Read more... )

Lately I've been noticing that my emotional reaction time has slowed waaaay down. I don't even cry when I watch the Lion King. Not even a little bit. It's weird. I feel a lot like a rock- like an island. And a rock feels no pain. And an island never cries. When I try to talk about how much it bothers me I just turn it into a joke. It's a little ( Read more... )

What's so wrong with just wanting to have a good time? I've been forced to use the word 'drama' in every day conversation and I feel like I'm about to explode. I don't want to deal with other people's bullshit and I'm grateful to be in my own.

I am on my own.

I feel fucking great.

I am depressed in a new sort of way. Like unrequited love and indifference have breeded and this is the spawn...

And now I don't love anyone.