🎶Every night, I'm laying in bed, holding you close in my dreams.🎶

[breimh]

I found myself thinking I was waking up to the sound of the distant whistle of a train, around 2:30 or 3am, and realized I was still in dreamland as my hand was taken by my lovely Golden Angel. She gave me that beautiful smile, her eyes shining with compassion, hope, unwavering love and began to say something. But her voice was too soft to hear,

Comments

[sylviadevin]

But you need to remember to call on others for help more often, you need to let them tend to your needs and focus on you, too. You're just as important as anyone else in this world. You are loved for who you are, and don't you forget it!"

Ya know, we (I do it too) forget that giving and receiving is the cycle, and when completed, it grows. It's easy to give a lot of the time, but some of us have a really hard time receiving for whatever reason. That breaks the cycle. People feel good when they can give back to you. Let them.

[breimh]

I know, and part of my problem of being able or willing to receive any kind of aid is that for so many years it was held over my head, used like some sort of fucking bargaining chip - "You're an ungrateful little sonofabitch! After all I do for you..." never mind the countless times I did things like clean up messes I didn't make or take care of things without being asked just because it had been left undone for a while or when it needed to be done. Or the times I was asked and did it without complaint. Because of that, I just got used to never asking, never reaching out. And part of that is that trust was betrayed, so I am working on trusting. Those I know I can't trust I won't and don't ask. Those who I don't know or understand they do and are willing to help, I'm asking on occasion but it's a work in progress for me.