I can't sleep. My mind is racing. It's racing to the edge of a cliff to whether I jump and see if I land somewhere, or I stop before the edge and tred safely. I don't know why. I've tried so hard to repress it. It's not something that can happen. Why does my heart think differently? Why do I continuously feel for That Which Cannot Be? Isn't my own ( Read more... )

Everywhere I go. Everything I see. Everything I do, I'm finding it impossible to envision any of it without you.

You've touched my life so far only so briefly, but I cannot find myself wanting to have the rest of my life without you.

It's maddening to suppress how I feel, nothing is correct anymore. In time all will pass, but I don't want that. I ( Read more... )

I'm sorry I think the world of you ( Read more... )

 This has probably been the ugliest time in my life right about now. I cannot control my emotions. I cannot find a job. It feels like my best friend Natalie is slipping away from me and I only have myself to blame for it. I am out of money, having to either sell things or ask my parents for money, which I am glad they are there for me in my ( Read more... )

 History is due to repeat itself. Why does my history have to blow fucking ass. Another year squandered with me dangling my fucking heart in the breeze like a Pinata. Another year where I sweat on trying to find a fucking career for myself (btw: The massuse business is in the shithole and no one can get jobs, so there goes that career arc for me.) ( Read more... )

I just don't fucking get it. I tried as hard as I could, and I still fucking failed.. I didn't want to give up, but it's the only thing I had left to do.. That's that ( Read more... )

sigh.. fucking sigh.. nothing really is ever simple.. nothing really is ever easy.. maybe I should just stop. Maybe I should just give up. maybe it's just not worth it.

Why do I keep trying. The same thing happens everytime. I get interested in someone, they get interested in me, just when things Might start to get interesting... They change their mind.. In a total 180. Was it due to me though... no, not that I'm aware of.. but usually always about someone else. I'm just sick of the same Bullshit day-in and day- ( Read more... )

I have this... overwhelming sense that, no matter what I do... no matter how hard I try... I will always fail. Like I may have had a chance of success, but was masked, and that was the only chance I will ever get. I repress my real emotions so much that it's hard to express them for what they really are anymore... and it's difficult to proclaim ( Read more... )

I really wish I knew how to start this. I have feelings for someone, but I can't ask, though she knows my feelings for her. I feel that if I ask, I place an unfair response on this person, for she's going through quite a predicement herself. if I don't ask, it eats me away and my question just fades to the wind as they always do. Cause I'm too ( Read more... )