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Aug 14, 2008 22:23

Nice new clean blank empty space.

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Comments 20

furriboots August 15 2008, 02:59:44 UTC
I read you post on bj_connect. I do think it is more difficult and stressful to worry about someone you love than it is about yourself. It always makes me feel very helpless.

I can understand your desire to lose yourself in some mindless distraction. When I have been faced with this, I found myself aimlessly playing repetitive video games just to make the hours pass.

I am hoping that when you hear that it is good news.

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brian_pa August 15 2008, 03:20:19 UTC
Whoever said "no news is good news" was a fucking idiot.

I have a game in mind, but it's not on video. Excuse me now, it's time to grab my joy stick.

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furriboots August 15 2008, 03:31:05 UTC
Lol. Well at least you haven't lost your sense of humour! That alone can at least make dealing with the waiting a little more bearable.

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lady_jane August 15 2008, 03:48:56 UTC
This is the first time you mentioned the Rage party, I think, certainly the first I've seen it on bj_connect. I'm sorry you're under this kind of stress Brian - and I'm stunned at the self-awareness of your "venting." Not that I don't think you're capable of it, I know you are, I'm just amazed you let it show. But again, the stress, and again, I think you're handling this very well.

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brian_pa August 15 2008, 15:43:14 UTC
Responsibility to others is so far keeping me from jumping off the deep end.

Jumping off the deep end is definitely easier.

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boonesfarmgirl August 15 2008, 04:53:24 UTC
Waiting is the worst. Time I do believe time stood still for me twice, until the word came back. Then it sped by. Too quick. Way too quick. I want when time stood still back.

Chelle

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brian_pa August 15 2008, 15:44:42 UTC
Can't see how waiting can ever be preferable to taking action.

Well, maybe I can.

Not going there.

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arrowthroughme August 15 2008, 12:32:10 UTC
impressing succeeding loving caring mesmerizing you

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brian_pa August 15 2008, 15:45:38 UTC
One out of five isn't bad. I am ALWAYS mesmerizing. See photo.

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arrowthroughme September 15 2008, 17:37:34 UTC
Please talk to Justin

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brian_pa September 15 2008, 17:50:28 UTC
Why? Is he bothering you, and you want me to make him stop?

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boonesfarmgirl August 19 2008, 23:01:19 UTC
Brian I just got done reading your connect page and I have kept quiet hoping Lindsay was cancer free. But she is not. I do not care what the report says. All it takes is ONE, ONE cell to get through. She MUST do chemo.

My best friend died about three years ago. She had breast cancer. She will never see her children grow. Never see them get married and have children of their own. My mother died 5 months ago. She had breast cancer, too. She fought, had chemo, had the radiation but unfortunately it had spread too far.

I do not care how you do it. Be mean if you have to. Show her the stats. One death is too many. Do whatever you can to get her to chemo. It will be worth it.

chelle

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brian_pa August 19 2008, 23:13:22 UTC
Mel is working on Lindsay now. The big gun, or so she thinks. We won't give up easily, but ultimately, it's Lindsay's choice. Not that I'll ever admit that to HER.

Losing a parent is painful. My father died of cancer a few years ago. We were not close (at all) but there was still an empty space in my life when he was gone. As you may know, I don't do the polite routine. But if I did, I'd send you good wishes.

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