this weekend made things somewhat tangible.....

numb. i really dont know which way to go. one parent lets me in. one uses me but doesnt want me involved. but i am the only one who know the truth. thats incredilbly powerful stuff. at least powerful pressure on my head. cuz me being the kid, have no power to do anything. i have no authority to do anything. let alone the experience i probably need ( Read more... )

ya know. i am really just seriously so hardcore out of my element. I HATE IT. i really could go on and on right now on how truly hurt i am by some of my friends, parents and other ppl but its just too much to even wanna think about. and i am so emotionally and physically exhasted. i wanna order a pizza, get some pepsi, pref with rum but ill take ( Read more... )

oh my absolutely wonderful wifey came to visit brought some good ground kontra in my life. what would i do with out her. i love have my girls here when things get crazy which they have been but my wifey, my wifey is something different and i would have jumped off this mountain a long time ago. i really wish i could have shown her more up here but ( Read more... )

holy fucking shit

hmmm well. i am doing two things at the same time. being driven up the wall and becoming numb. the more i get disspointed and hurt and pissed. the more i numb it. cuz its the gayest shit ever in the world and i dont want to deal with it. so instead of exploding. i keep it in and pretend to not feel it. cuz i dont want to see myself if i dont do ( Read more... )

that movie really threw me off my rocker.

and krystal your welcome. i am very happy for you. extremely.

now if i can listen to my own advice. id be fine.

damn it.

ya know i really am in a pickle here. a pickle that is really pissing me off. and i am not really sure if i am pissed off or frustrated dissapointed or all of the above ( Read more... )

i really dont know what i am doing with myself these days.

i seriously cant catch a break for gods sake.

shit