Want to be cool and popular? Want to people to think you have a nice ass or nice boobs or are overly sufficient in the manhood department? Then quit purging that burger and looking up ridiculous work out programs on Google and send this E-mail. It will make people think you cooler, and thusly forget about your short comings ( Read more... )

Well, world, congratulations. You have ruined a perfectly good word, and that word is 'literally.' Everyday I hear countless idiots say that someone "literally chugged like 30 beers in 5 seconds" or "literally is the stupidest person ever." Well, the 'literally' was devised expressly so that people can tell when you are being literal or not. And ( Read more... )

Well suckers, I just bought the tickets to see David Gilmour in New York on April 5th. I pity all you fools who aren't me. Except Tina, because she is coming with.

Any Mexican restaurant (or any other kind of restaurant for that matter) that calls their refried beans 'refritos' is retarded.

"I lke refried beans. I wanna try fried beans, because maybe they're just as good and we're just wasting time."

It seems that a large population of the Hebron Academy, mainly females, are confused as to whether or not they drink. Though this question is ostensibly simple, many girls at Hebron seem to have a problem with it, which makes me think that their parents should reconsider their decision to pay for the tuition. Anyway, I have reworked into a typical ( Read more... )

Its about this time of the year that I start laughing at you single bastards out there who regret your life because it is Valentine's Day. That special time of year were I get my pay off for not being a manipulitive bastard to females, for not twisting people's lives and pressuring them just for some kind meaningless contact. A special ' ( Read more... )

This is for all you idiot's who think that the best part of pizza is the crust. Are you ready for the world's greatest invention?!?!


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Here is the problem with Queen Latifah, she is fat and she is black (that's a joke, son), but most of all, she isn't funny. Its good that overweight people can have a role model in their life, but this lady just shouldn't be it. That Taxi movie, the one were Steve Martin pretends to be black, barber shop and pretty much everything she has ever set ( Read more... )

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Pure Halarity

Mr. Fulmer- "I don't care if the smell drives people away, I don't like people."