happy

the nights are cold the days are cold the sun feels weaker my body is brittle my skin is drying my eyes are sagging.... got hit by a car on tuesday riding my longboard through the city smacked my head saw everything yellow and began to shake... eventually i had to go and so ruslan took me to the emergency room spent hours and hours there it was so ( Read more... )

ruslan and i got back together. dunno how long it'll be before we fuck up again, but maybe this is just what we do. starts and ends and starts and ends.. and starts and ends.... i dunno. we both just keep feeling like we have to try. we love each other too much not to. we'll see.

so often people don't understand what they are apologizing for until it is much too late for it to be even remotely pertinent, much less make a difference or change anything.

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wrote a very long letter today. don't know if i'll ever send it, but writing it was really the battle anyways.

at peace.

early afternoon (or is it late ( Read more... )

tangled in your sheets wrapped up in rain legs wound around cloudy skies wearing the same clothes for days and days drifting and breathing, in and out and in and out, and life is still safe, life is still alive, i should give up anticipating or waiting because the days move forwards regardless and i have the future and it will always be different ( Read more... )

tom is giving me the sexiest deal. now i just need to quit smoking so much weed, work a lil more, and do the damn thing.

i think i have a crush on a boy from school. we hung out a bit over the summer and i didn't think anything of it really but now i like see him and stuff, and i think he's cute and i don't know, he keeps sitting next to me in class and our body parts touch a lot (but not the fun ones ahahaha) and it makes me all funny and goddamn it's so weird. and ( Read more... )

the responses aren't the same anymore like maybe it was a good trick good to see you cause when i felt nothing except a need to walk away i knew i was okay like when you spoke and it was just sounds and not music or when you reached and i shrank leaving into the night i felt freer than i thought i could have now i know i am making the right choice ( Read more... )

gotta get a new piercing. thinking about clavicle surface piercings. really wanted my hips pierced but tom said it was a terrible idea because he knows how klutzy i am and how i'd snag everything on them and eventually tear them out (ouch, nasty visual). i am in that kind of mood where i need to get something new done and i want more surface ( Read more... )