Fic: Absolution

Jan 11, 2011 18:56

Title: Absolution
Fandoms: Star Trek Reboot
Pairing: Kirk/Spock
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: D/s and bondage elements
Notes: Written for fandom_stocking for sabrina_il. Thanks to jaune_chat for the quick beta.
Summary: For this, Kirk can only come to Spock.



“Come,” Spock says.

Kirk enters only far enough to allow the door to close behind him. He stands looking down and flexing his hands into fists, relaxing them, clenching again.

Spock shuts down his padd and sets it aside. He doesn’t expect to return to it again this evening; he recognizes this attitude of Kirk’s, and he knows what will be necessary.

“I need your help.” Kirk closes his eyes and makes a visible effort to calm himself. “I’m sorry. I know it’s too soon after the last time, but I can’t--.”

“What’s happened?” Spock asks. He doesn’t move from his desk, not yet. He must first fully understand what Kirk needs.

Kirk shakes his head. His jaw is clenched, and the muscles of his shoulders are tightly bunched; Spock can see form here how much tension his body is carrying. That’s enough to act on, for now.

“Very well. Computer, engage my personal lock on the door, authorization four seven delta two two.”

“Acknowledged,” the computer chirps.

Spock stands, pushes in his desk chair, and regards the man before him. “Remove your shirt and your shoes. Place them neatly on the floor next to the bed.”

Kirk complies quickly, keeping his eyes down. He still hasn’t looked at Spock, and if previous behavior is any indication, he will continue to avoid eye contact for the duration of the encounter. Spock finds himself dissatisfied with this convention, though he’s uncertain as to why it should bother him.

“Kneel, and place your hands behind your back.”

Kirk drops to his knees; he doesn’t lower himself to the ground one knee at a time, as is more comfortable for humans, but simply drops his weight to the floor in a way that must be painful. He is making the most of this punishment. The motion confirms what Spock already knows: that Kirk must be in great need to seek him out so soon after their last session.

Spock retrieves the strap he’s used before, and binds Kirk’s wrists. He ties them tightly enough to dig into the pale skin, knowing that Kirk will appreciate the extra discomfort.

Spock takes Kirk apart slowly. He pushes him to the brink with hands and mouth and teeth, but does not allow him release. He understands this need of Kirk’s, and knows he would only do his friend a disservice by letting him experience pleasure too soon.

When Kirk is on his bed, face pressed to the wrinkled sheets as Spock pushes inside of him, he makes no noise. Spock knows Kirk’s physical responses by this time, and knows that Kirk is aroused by this contact. Spock had thought in this, at least, Kirk could take solace, but no. He still craves punishment. Spock wraps his hands around Kirk’s hips with force calculated to bruise, and slams forward. Beneath him, Kirk makes a small, pleased sound.

Spock fixes his eyes on Kirk’s bound wrists as he rides him, and imagines how it would feel to have Kirk’s hands on him, freely exploring. He slides a hand up the length of Kirk’s arm and across his shoulder to drag and catch in his soft hair. He makes himself tighten his grip and pull Kirk’s neck back, exposing his throat and providing a glimpse of Kirk’s transcendent expression.

When Spock finishes inside him, he allows himself an indulgent moment of stillness lying draped over Kirk. He soaks up the warmth of Kirk’s body, and catalogues each sound: the constant hum of the ship’s machinery, Kirk’s ragged breath, the thumping of both their hearts, Spock’s nearly three times the speed of Kirk’s, despite the human’s own agitated state.

Spock pulls away only far enough to roll Kirk over on his back, before climbing on top of him again. Kirk watches him warily, for this is not a part of their usual ritual. “You must let go completely,” Spock says. “Hold nothing back.”

Kirk’s jaw clenches, and he closes his eyes. He is braced as if expecting more pain. Perhaps he has not thought Spock capable of a deviation from procedure. Spock slides down to take Kirk into his mouth.

Kirk’s hips jerk up, and a surprised grunt escapes him. His eyes fly open. He stares with an expression Spock cannot interpret. For a moment, Spock considers that he may have misread Kirk. He releases Kirk’s cock from his mouth and wraps his hand around it instead. “Is this not something you wish to experience?”

Kirk’s laugh is shaky. “Fuck, Spock. It’s not that.You don’t have to…”

“I do not do this out of duty,” Spock says. He draws his hand up the length of Kirk’s shaft, and watches him shudder.

“I never meant--. You shouldn’t let me… Fuck this.” Kirk moves quickly, but Spock is faster. Kirk shifts his weight and tries to roll, but Spock pins him easily. Kirk knows quite a number of dirty tricks, and he tries most of them on Spock, but Spock began in a more advantageous position, and is stronger in any case, so the result is unsurprising.

Spock has him pinned, but Kirk continues thrashing ineffectually. With his hands bound, he turns to verbal violence. “I let them die! I shouldn’t be here.”

Spock keeps him tightly held down, and answers Kirk’s shouts in calmer tones. “There’s nothing you can do. It is not your fault.”

“I should be dead. I should be punished. I shouldn’t be allowed this!”

“No one wins every battle. You have nothing to be ashamed of.”

“I have everything to be ashamed of,” Kirk growls. He struggles for one more glorious moment, then goes slack. He keeps his eyes on Spock, ready to fight again if he feels threatened. “I don’t deserve it,” Kirk mutters.

“That’s not for you to decide. As you have come to me for absolution, I believe I have earned the right to go about it in my own way,” Spock says.

The tension drains from Kirk’s body. Spock has never seen surrender written in his body the way it is now.

“May I proceed?” Spock asks.

Kirk nods, and this time he allows Spock to pleasure him. Once he’s stopped resisting, he falls quite quickly to Spock’s ministrations. Spock swallows all Kirk gives to him, and, allowing himself a moment of indulgence, he holds Kirk in his mouth until Kirk sighs and pulls away. Spock reaches deftly underneath Kirk to undo his bonds, then removes himself to the far edge of the bed.

“Thank you.” Kirk swings his legs over the side of the bed and stands. Spock can already see the evidence of this evening’s exertions that will be evident in the next days, hidden under Kirk’s uniform along with the shame Kirk feels about his perceived failure.

“Jim.” Spock looks up to the ceiling. He does not wish to influence Kirk’s answer by putting him under the same kind of scrutiny he had earlier. “If you wish to come to me, it need not only be when you feel the need for a… purge of this nature.”

Kirk stands silently for almost a full minute. “If you don’t want to do this anymore, I understand.” Kirk is trying to put the steel of command back in his voice, and not quite managing. “I know this isn’t exactly a first officer’s duty.” He manages a weak laugh.

“I did not say I am averse to these encounters.” Now Spock sits up, and looks at Kirk to be sure he will not be mistaken. “I merely wish to make clear that I am capable of being more than a disciplinarian.”

“Yeah.” Kirk takes a step back toward the bed. “Are… Did…?” Kirk can’t seem to formulate a question, and Spock considers that instigating this conversation in the immediate aftermath of such a large endorphin rush may not have been entirely wise. There will be time later to discuss what’s needful.

“Come back to bed,” Spock says. “If you’d like to sleep.”

“Yeah. I’d like that.” Kirk drifts back to the bed and sits.

Spock rolls onto his side to provide Kirk some privacy. Several seconds later he feels the dip of the mattress as Kirk moves. He settles in behind Spock and places an arm carefully over his waist. His body fits neatly in alignment with Spock’s, and that, Spock decides, as he sinks into the solace of sleep, is a sign of things to come.

fandom: star trek, pairing: kirk/spock, genre: slash, fic

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