Mitigation Part 5
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
“Sehun?” He snuffled, uncertain as to why he was crying; where he was; what time of day he had awoken. “Sehun?”
He threw his body to the side, round eyes searching for someone that certainly wasn’t there. He was too panicked to recognize the sheets, or the comforter nestled around him. He needed Sehun. He needed Sehun there, but he wasn’t there, and he had expected Sehun to be there. He knew he had fallen asleep with Sehun beside him, but…
“Where are you…?”
And then it all came back to him, in a rush, as quick and immobilizing as a brain freeze.
Sehun loved him.
Sehun had made love to him.
Sehun had made love to him, and then he had left him…
“Sehun,” Jongin whimpered, now, thinking that maybe Sehun had just up and left. This thought stuck with him; even after he took in his surroundings and was certain that he was situated in Sehun’s bed.
He curled back up into the same ball, the same position he had fallen asleep in. He screwed his eyes shut, attempting to stay calm. He began to second-guess everything, even Sehun’s love for him.
Especially Sehun’s love for him.
“What if it didn’t mean anything to him…”
“Jongin.” The called boy hastily sat up in bed, comforter slipping from his shoulder and revealing sharp collarbones and skin, marked with more love bites than war scars. Sehun wanted nothing more than to tackle the other male and leave additional ones…
“Were you calling for me?” Calmly stepping over to the bedside was what he did instead, and he perched on the edge of the mattress, scrutinizing Jongin’s face for any signs of distress.
Jongin simply nodded, drawing the comforter back around him, looping it up and over his head so that he was essentially in a sort of blanket-cocoon.
Sehun thought he looked absolutely fucking adorable.
“What’s the matter?” He asked, softly, just as softly cupping what little skin wasn’t covered-Jongin’s cheek.
Jongin cast his gaze downwards, mumbling. “You were gone…”
“You’re so cute,” Sehun whispered, and although the atmosphere was sort of weird, sort of awkward after the previous night, he ever so lightly brushed their lips together. When he pulled away, Jongin’s face was as red as his puffy nose. He couldn’t resist pecking said nose, as well.
“You couldn’t possibly have been crying because I was gone,” Sehun didn’t want to assume anything. “Right?”
Jongin shook his head, still keeping his gaze focused on his lap. “I don’t know why I was crying. I think I had a bad dream.”
It was then that Sehun drew Jongin into his arms, gently rocking the boy back and forth. “Don’t cry anymore. Okay?”
“Don’t leave me anymore.” Jongin whispered shyly, nuzzling into Sehun’s neck. “Okay?”
“Don’t worry, Jonginnie.” Sehun kissed the top of the comforter, because it was in the way of Jongin’s head. He hoped Jongin would appreciate the sentiment, anyways. “I’m not leaving.”
“Everyone leaves.” Jongin mumbled into his shoulder, half-hoping that Sehun wouldn’t hear but also longing to receive a reassuring response.
“Jongin…” Sehun sighed, pushing the comforter away from Jongin’s head and lifting his chin so that he can better view the latter’s face. “You know that’s not true.”
“But it is,” Jongin insisted, appearing more earnest, now. “None of the other friends that I’ve had stayed. My family lives somewhere else entirely. Besides… my parents, of course. But… they don’t count.” His voice falls in volume again. “They’re always leaving…”
Sehun pushes Jongin down into the mattress, but even the action is without roughness. His thumb grazes against the bruise on Jongin’s face, before sliding down to graze against his bottom lip as well.
“Even if your parents are never there for you…” Sehun starts, his mouth against Jongin’s, but he still maintains a bit of space. “I am. Even if your other friends have not stayed true to you… I have. I’ve been here for you, when your parents kicked you out of the house for the first time, for something so stupid; playing music too loudly. I let you stay here. I always let you stay here.”
A lone tear tickles Jongin’s cheek. He paws it away, a distraught expression on his face. He cuts into Sehun’s monologue.
“I’m… I’m sorry. I… take too much from you. I shouldn’t be here as often as I am and I promise I’ll stop I’ll stop coming I’ll stay home I’ll-”
“Jongin.” He is silenced by Sehun’s pink, pink lips. “You could be here every single day; you could live with me, and you still wouldn’t be taking too much. You’d be… giving me something, actually.” Before Jongin can inquire as to what he means, he hastily rambles on. “But what I mean is… I’m always here for you. Even after your parents stopped giving you any sort of reactions. Even when you were as obnoxious as possible, continuing to blare music, but with a different outcome: no outcome. And what I’m really trying to get at, is… you need to… stop tearing yourself down. You need to stop placing yourself in harm’s way. Don’t you get it, Jongin? You’re so… beautiful. I-shit, sorry, I don’t mean to say that that’s what is most important about you… it’s just… fine, I found a better word. You’re perfect, Kim Jongin, and seeing you throw yourself away like this… it hurts. More than you could ever imagine.”
Sehun rolls them both over, so they’re on their sides, facing each other. He watches Jongin’s face for any sign of disapproval as he slowly tears the comforter away from the older male’s body. He shoves the comforter down onto the floor, and then… he holds Jongin tightly to his chest. He never wants to let him go, for… he belongs there.
Yet, before he can resume speaking, Jongin lets out a muted whine. Sehun immediately recalls the situation in which he’s heard that whine before, but he hurries to shake the images out of his head in favor of imploring, “What’s wrong?”
“You’re wearing boxers…” Jongin mumbles, fingers already hooked in the waistband. Sehun urges him to take them off, and soon he is only wearing a fond smile. He’s back to being pressed against Jongin in the most intimate of ways.
“You need to stop trying to get your parents’ love like this.” He jumps right back into his argument, nosing along Jongin’s neck as he does so. “True love is unconditional. If they’re going to love you, they’re going to love you. Harming yourself isn’t going to change anything. Jongin… if somebody doesn’t...” He winces, already regretting what’s he about to say next, yet he finds it necessary. “...care, then… they won’t ever, unless they somehow change. But you yourself cannot change them… You have to understand that.”
He draws back, gaze intense and unsettling. Jongin squirms against him, but stops within seconds once he realize how bad of an idea that is.
“Do you understand?” Sehun prompts, gently.
Jongin nods, and it is his turn to hide in Sehun’s neck.
“I’ll love you enough for everyone else that is too stupid and blind to do the same.” He repeats the question, voice a bit firmer. “Do you understand?”
Jongin’s lips glide along his skin as he nods, once more.
“Thank you, Hun.”
~
They had both fallen asleep again, this time facing each other, but this time, they are still as close as ever.
This time, Sehun is still there.
This time, Jongin wakes first. His cheek is mashed against Sehun’s chest, and this time, he is comforted upon reaching consciousness. He is comforted by the recurrent thrumming of Sehun’s heart against his ear.
Unable to stop himself, he admires the face of the sleeping prince. He’s not really a prince, of course, but he’s handsome enough. And he saved Jongin. Jongin ponders a bit, and comes to the conclusion that ‘knight’ would be a better term for the younger. Yet, he could never imagine calling Sehun that way. Maybe… ‘babe.’ Or ‘love.’
Jongin instinctively flushes; curses himself for thinking such thoughts. However, his mind entertains the notion of being called as such, by the very boy before him. By the very boy whose lips are just centimeters away…
Jongin traces the pad of his finger over Sehun’s bushy eyebrows, over the elegant bridge of his nose, and he giggles when said nose crinkles at the unanticipated skin contact. And then, the fingertip glides along the taunting lips, over their crease…
Jongin’s lips can no longer wait to meet Sehun’s, if even in the lightest of kisses. He just barely moves their lips together, and he lets out a little squeak when Sehun’s eyes flutter open, hastily scooting away. Sehun chuckles deep, and it is a pleasing sound-it makes something stir within Jongin’s gut. The sound rumbles again in Sehun’s chest, as he guides Jongin back against it, tightening his hold on him.
“Did you sleep well?”
Jongin hid his face in Sehun’s chest as he tried to wiggle his lower half away, fearing that now that he’s awake… something else will awaken…
Sehun doesn’t let him, and so, something akin to a whimper spills past his lips. Lips that had stolen a kiss from Sehun’s. Sehun arches an eyebrow, those same lips parting to ask of the reason behind the sound, but Jongin speaks first.
“I’m hungry,” He announces, and he knows that this means that Sehun will get up, but at least he won’t be embarrassed as fuck when a boner springs up out of nowhere.
Yet, for some reason, he thinks that Sehun wouldn’t mind.
“I’ll go make breakfast.” Sehun decides, although his reluctance is evident in how he clings to Jongin for just a bit longer, nose once again inhaling that intoxicating smell of strawberry, and something else, something that is just… Jongin.
After he slips into a pair of sweatpants and leaves, Jongin remains, suddenly wondering why his ass felt only the slightest bit sore. It was barely noticeable, really, and he assumed that it must have been because Sehun was so damn gentle with him. It had been frustrating, but also… it had been… the best feeling he’d ever experienced.
He already wanted to experience it again, but this time… he wanted it to be more… intense. He appreciated all of the care, and love, that Sehun had shown him hours before, but now… he yearned for the passion that he knew Sehun held for him. He knew, because he had been able to tell how Sehun had been holding back. And in the last few seconds, he had been just a bit rougher, just a bit quicker.
Maybe… after breakfast…
He could ask Sehun if he was still hungry.
~
After dressing himself in his boxers from last night and in one of Sehun’s baggiest shirts, he stumbled down the stairs-he was both sleepy-eyed and preoccupied with a multitude of thoughts-to meet up with Sehun. Who was still surely half naked.
Jongin struggled not to tremble with excitement, but he wasn’t very successful. He shouldn’t be so riled up already. He was concerned, because he was coming to the realization that he was very much in love with Sehun, but… why? Why could he only think sexual thoughts? Why couldn’t he think of other romantic things, such as… holding hands? And feeding each other food?
“Want a strawberry?”
Sehun must have heard him approach-he had tripped over a stair or two, after all-because he was already standing in the kitchen’s entrance, a bright piece of fruit secured between his fingers. Jongin instinctively parted his lips despite his surprise, accepting the red treat into his mouth. He chewed, all the while holding Sehun’s gaze, and after he swallowed, his tongue peeked out of his mouth in order to swipe up some of the lingering juices.
And then, he snuck that same tongue into Sehun’s expectant mouth, sharing sweetness in more ways than one.
“’m making pancakes.” Sehun’s lips twisted up into a grin after they pulled apart, the kiss lasting only a few seconds or so. He spun around to return to his work, humming lowly and acting carefree even though there was still one and one only question on his mind.
Jongin crept up behind him, arms snug around his stomach. He pressed his face into Sehun’s back as he mumbled, “Thank you…”
“For what?” Sehun flipped a pancake over, admiring its golden tint. “The strawberry?”
“No…” Jongin snuggled closer, held on tighter. He got all quiet, and shy again. He wasn’t used to admitting his feelings. “For being there for me… for saving me from myself.” He tilted his chin up against Sehun’s back, firmly pushing his lips against the nape of Sehun’s neck. His voice was barely audible, and it was anything but stable. “For loving me…”
He felt Sehun still before him, as he had done last night, and Sehun slowly lowered the spatula before turning to envelope Jongin in his arms.
He blinked, rapidly; blinked away tears. And then he mouthed softly at Jongin’s neck, before mouthing just as softly at his lips. “And I thank you, for allowing me to do all of those things. Otherwise… we’d both be lost…”
~
It was ten minutes later that his question was answered.
Jongin was low-key moaning at the fluffy hot cakes melting in his mouth, eyelids flickering to a close with each forkful pressed past his lips. Sehun only shook his head, but the corner of his mouth quirked up in amusement. He was actually quite happy that Jongin enjoyed his cooking so much.
He let himself get lost in the taste of his own pancakes, and upon reaching the second layer of his stack; he decided that he needed more whipped cream. He tilted the aerosol can southwestwards, spraying spirals of cream upon the surface of his pancake. He began to hum again, as before, anticipating the sweetness that would soon reach his tongue. His eyes lit up in satisfaction upon taking the first mouthful, and he chased the taste down with a gulp or so of two percent milk. Messy with his actions, a dash of milk bordered his upper lip, forming a milk mustache of sorts. He was none the wiser, stuffing a second piece of pancake into his mouth.
It was on his fourth bite that he decided to glance up at Jongin, because he was only now realizing that the pleased noises had stopped. His mouth opened, not to take another bite but to ask if Jongin needed more pancakes, because that was the only explanation his mind could procure after noticing the strange silence.
But Jongin wasn’t out of pancakes. He didn’t even need whipped cream; his hot cakes were glazed with abundant amounts of it. His eyes were just the same, however-glazed over with some sort of emotion that Sehun wasn’t used to reading. Therefore, he had no idea what it could be. But those eyes were trained on his, and they were intense in their gaze. Quite intense. Quite very intense. So much so, that it led Sehun’s cheeks to heat up in the slightest.
“You okay?” He tapped his fork against his bottom lip, and both it and the upper curved down into a contemplative frown. “Are you not hungry anymore, or something?” Understanding cleared away the cloud of confusion on his face. “Ohhh. Was I chewing with my mouth open, again?”
No answer. Not even a shake of his head. Sehun was beginning to grow a bit unnerved… what if he had really messed up? But… what could he have possibly done to upset Jongin in this way? They had just been eating pancakes. Did Jongin just now realize how unappealing he was? Sehun knew he shouldn’t have been eating so messily…
“Is it because I was-”
“I love you.” Jongin blurted, out of the blue, and it was so very unexpected that Sehun’s fork fell right through his very fingers and clattered to the floor. That adorable little milk mustache was still there, but now Sehun’s frown was broken by his mouth dropping open in shock.
Jongin bent over the table, dabbing at the line of milk Sehun was certainly unaware of, with a napkin. Sehun had been unaware of quite a lot of things.
“I love you, you idiot.” He forcefully grabbed Sehun’s face in his hands, smiling so big it hurt; it strained the muscles of his face. He left several kisses above Sehun’s top lip, ensuring that all traces of milk were gone. The gesture was even followed up with a sweep of his tongue.
Sehun blinked wide eyes multiple times, still unable to comprehend all that he had heard, but when Jongin began to pull away, he belatedly came to his senses and dragged Jongin by the collar, back to his lips. Their lips moved together in tandem for a minute; Sehun leaving gentle nips and kissing Jongin at a restricted pace, although he hoped that the amount of raw emotion he was investing in the kiss could be realized by his best friend. After thoroughly leaving Jongin’s lips slick with saliva, Sehun drew back. He inhaled, slowly, unevenly, and pressed his forehead against Jongin’s as he mumbled, “I was afraid I would never hear that…”
Jongin gripped tightly onto the edge of the table in order to maintain stability. Despite his awkward position, he still managed to peck Sehun’s nose once, twice, thrice.
“I’m sorry I took so long, Hunnie.” Jongin lightly smooched the crown of Sehun’s head before rising all the way to a standing position and stepping over next to Sehun’s chair. He embraced the younger around the middle-not too tightly, but not too loosely. He settled his chin atop Sehun’s inclined head. “I think I’ve been in love with you for much longer than I’ve known, Sehun, and I… I truly am sorry. That it’s taken me so long to realize it.”
Sehun gave the softest of sounds, mashing his face into Jongin’s neck and gradually kissing all over it.
“But I’ll make it up to you. Somehow. In any way that I can; in any way that you want.”
Sehun fisted the back of Jongin’s shirt-well, it actually belonged to him, but that was besides the point-in his hands, nose aligned with Jongin’s throat. He briefly mouthed along Jongin’s pulse, grinning against the skin as he felt the pulse accelerate.
Unexpectedly, he emitted a small hiccup, and he felt Jongin quiver against him as the boy laughed, before shifting slightly to whisper in his ear.
“You know… I heard that you have to hold your breath in order for your hiccups to go away.”
Sehun hummed softly, in acknowledgement, but his mouth fell open once more after he heard Jongin’s follow-up question, especially given that it was accompanied by a caress of his bare abdomen.
“Want me to take your breath away?”