Friendship

[brioi]

I seem to only write in this thing when I’m depressed or going through something where I feel it is beneficial to vent what is on my mind. I had made the decision to delete this thing because I felt that no one really reads it, or probably even cares. Today I came to the computer, feeling that familiar need to purge some inner negativity, and

Comments

[volupteveg]

I totally understand what you mean.....
It's difficult to trust someone and difficult to see why anyone would care anyway. I tell people things... but rarely do I ever talk about things deep down. When I am in the most pain I just want to be alone because I recognize that it doesn't benefit anyone else.
We are all pretty selfish deep down.... and we all want something from someone but at the same time we all connect on some level.

Real friends are very hard to come by... I think you have to go through a lot of aquaintances before you can recognize the permanent ones.

It's easy to loose faith in humanity..... I do it all the time... but if you are capable of really wanting to understand and care for someone.. there are plenty of people who want to care and understand for you.

[brioi]

I appreciate your ability to label something that seems so complex. I think the phrase “losing faith in humanity” is very accurate to what I was struggling to articulate

[volupteveg]

Thats because my friends only hear what's on the surface.. they make jokes because that's how they deal with still being my friend and not having to really care about what's wrong.

Or they offer me advice when all I want is to talk it out.

Some relationships are like that.. and in some ways it's comforting but in others I just realize that they really can't help me with CORE issues because I never talk to ANYONE about that stuff.
Not even my counselor.

________________
Anyway, that's kind of what that post made me think of.
It's hard to open up to people.. if you don't let someone know something is wrong-- how do they know what to ask?
Sometimes you just have to say it and accept that some people will try to listen and others will change the subject.

I don't think your feelings are unwarented. We all want to feel connected and understood and there is nothing wrong with wanted something important out of relationships with people. <3

[brioi]

I think that is my point. It would be so refreshing to be around someone that knows you well enough to know when something is wrong. They understand you well enough to clue in that you are not okay and you need to talk. But for someone to even feel that from you, they must pay a certain amount of attention and actually make an effort to see you for who/how you are. I can tell when people arond me are not well. It surprises my friends how I seem to know when things are wrong in their lives. I'm just saying...it would be nice to have that reciprocated occasionally

[diyeana]

You said in your comment above that "it would be nice to have that reciprocated occasionally." That's a really big problem with most people though. Most of us are so wrapped up in our little lives that we don't even notice when people we would call our "friends" are having problems. That's really too bad. But there are other people out there like that....just few and far between. I try to be more attentive to my friends, but sometimes I fail miserably. This is reminding me to be more of that kind of person. So thank you.

I am glad you recreated your journal. I was happy to see you there. :) I come and go with the LiveJournal thing but it is so nice to have a place to gripe when I need it. It is also nice to read about other people's lives - the good and the bad.

It is also hard for me to make true friends. I have a few, here and there. But it's sometimes difficult to connect with people. Just like you say.

[bobbie_g]

I think our friendship was the genuine kind. I know I've never experienced anything like it before or since. I fully sympathise with the need for something deeper. I'm now in a similar situation, I have more people who I'm aquaintences with than I can count or name, but prescious few who actually know anything about me. I guess that is why I still come to livejournal. Having a friend who can know when something is up is a rare thing, connections like that aren't easily made. I would say that I've only had three friends like that - my brother Sam, you, and an old schoolfriend who is now dead. I can't find the right word to describe the lack of having someone who understands and cares without wanting anything else from you. It's frustrating. When you find it it is something amazing. I don't think it is pretensious to not want to share things unless with the right person, not everyone is the right person to tell

[brioi]

Were you referring to Kitney as the old highschoold friend that is now dead? Did she die G?

[bobbie_g]

Hey,

don't know if you will read this, but to respond to the comment you left some time ago in my journal, yes it was my old school friend Kitney who died.

I hope you are doing well, whatever you are up to these days.

Bobbie

[brioi]

I'm really sorry to hear that. I know you two had been through a lot together.

I appreciate you taking a min to touch base. So much has happened since we've last spoken. I've been better.

What about you...are you good? How has life been treating you? Let me know if you have a sec to hit me back.

Sincerely, it is very nice to hear from you Bobbie.

[bobbie_g]

It wasn't good, but you know there is nothing I can do to help her now, I'm not going to dwell on it. I can only let it fuel me to go and help others like her who have no one to turn to. I know I was then in no state to help her, I was too messed up myself. But praise the Lord I'm better now, and I want to really be in the place where I'm able to help the hurting and opressed. Too many people have no hope, and too many people sit back and don't care. I can't do that

[brioi]

Hey G

[laheat]

Well hello there.