I spent yesterday sleepdeprived. Slept some in mantits' car en route for the Town Where the Visions Fall Down, whence I began typing this entry. The first time I came to, I noticed we were two exits from a fine patisserie, where I ordered a cafe au lait and was unable to sleep for the rest of the drive down. No matter, we listened to Beethoven ( Read more... )

I don't know exactly why it is that my heart soars whenever I see an appletree overladen with blossoms, but I'm pleased with this condition.

In batterer intervention we talk endlessly about Beliefs that empower hurtful choices, what one gets out of them, and Alternatives in which one can feel equally (or, ideally, more) invested. This cannot help have an impact on the thinking of facilitators re: their own lives. To wit ( Read more... )

Winter returned today for one last flirtation. At the heighth of our connection, he was so clear, hard, cold and powerful, that it required all of my attention and no small amount of preparation to go out and meet him. The fact of him dominated my consciousness and the entire world was bright with his fervour. Innumerable retreats, however, have ( Read more... )

Last Saturday was magical. After awakening at the home of a dear old friend whose continued openness to me and apparent willingness to lean on me I cherish, I returned home to find two friends I'd thought I might have to let go of due to their familiarity with the ex-, but had then determined the sweetness to outweigh the potential for agony, ( Read more... )

At some point during her workday yesterday, my cohabitante, inspired by our stimulating discussions of the current selection, emailed the members of her bookclub & asked if a male participant would be welcome at the proceedings, previously exclusively female in practice if not in policy ( Read more... )

Their domestic bliss would have come off saccharine had they tapped one another's asses and let the sweet sap flow.
This they failed to do.
Thus each memory they built seemed another savoury course in a decadant feast, each chaste touch a sip of clean, acidic white wine, with the faintest hint of residual sugar.

I don't know why I ever thought it so impossible to stay in gratitude and out of expectation. Recent tests of my capacities in this regard have gone smashingly. It's only recognition of my inclination to complacent hubris at the first sign of success, that's keeping me from throwing caution completely to the wind.
Soon enough, though.

IF YOU'RE ON MY FRIENDS LIST ( Read more... )

Saturday night I succeded in going out dancing, largely on the strength of knowing that two friends who help prop me up when I'm low would be there. By night's end, I'd achieved complete unselfconsciousness on a mixed-gender dancefloor for the first time in my life. I shook it for like 5 solid hours, and people became eagerer (sic) to shake it for ( Read more... )