I am at work, some how I find myself in another job that requires me to stay in a large building after hours alone. This time I am protected by Vigilant. I am more fearful of these protectors though then comforted by their existence, but at least I am the only one here who has to bear that responsibility. I am being purposefully vague, I enjoy ( Read more... )

Sometimes I get entirely jealous of my girlfriends, and today I caught myself in this feeling. Why am I so utterly attached to every moment of my life. The future is appearing more and more spooky, the lack of place and space and orientation is fine with me, it is the demand to make an income that is making every conversation with my mother more ( Read more... )

My fingers smell of garlic and onions. I rub them gently under my nose and think of the skin that surrounds these vegetables, and remember the joys of cutting each, chopping finely tonight, not those large slices that I am used to for stir-frys and roasting. And how heavy they made my tear-ducts deep into the night, and the state of joy they ( Read more... )

More things should be free and reusable ( Read more... )

So I bought some internet time and webmail 2 is being a little cocky so I decided to tell a story...I am also slightly bored and it is getting dark and I am staying in a shady hotel in a place where I am definately the only white female, potentially the only white person, for kilometers. What is that like? Well everytime I walk the street I get " ( Read more... )

I recently awoke from this extended Big Brother type dream, featuring the all too vivid power dynamics and fears that exist within myself. I awake stunned by the phrase "they are watching" and "they are here" wondering to myself what this character they looks like and why they have me so frightened. Whenever I have images or thoughts or feelings ( Read more... )

Mornings, mornings, mornings. Wake up to sound of rain. Humidity suficates, legs mixed between sheets and quilt, 7:35am. Promising myself I would sleep in, I toss a pillow across the bed and dive back into the dream I was previously having. Heat penetrating my body. Sleep taunting, but unresponsive me sits staring at the rain, odd sensations ( Read more... )

Collection of phrases that I may want to remember from Sputnik Sweetheart by Haruki Murakami ( Read more... )

Who will dress up in funny clothes and battle me? Touch me. Hold me. Tell me I am beautiful. Foolish desires. Desire. Me in funny clothes. Dress up. And within all this confusion, I am starting to take myself seriously. And a serious me is just the same as the me in funny clothes. Its you too. And you. Touch you. Hold you. Tell you you are ( Read more... )

I am dying. I am also being born. I once gave birth to death. I thought this was a moment that I would experience only once. I now realize that this is all life really is.