SHOW #40 // THE NEWS AT SIX

[dimensioneye]

[ Have you ever wanted to be an anchorman? Or have the ability to tell it exactly like it is? Well good, because Brofist TV is now the Bro Reports News Station, and all of you are now reporters, both in the studio and LIVE ON THE SCENES of exciting news. Everyone will get a news bulletin and be told to read it. Whatever yours is, it will actually

Comments

[hotdrunkpianist]

This just in, ... my cue card is blank and I can't remember what it said...oh no wait there's a bit left there ... apparently there's a gate to hell behind the weather chart green screen thing, someone might want to do something about that.

[tosses the stack of papers she had away, bored to fuck]

[righteousblade]

[ His own cue card just reads "please don't let the world end :("

great. ]

Excuse me, reporter woman, but could you please direct me to the gate you spoke of?

[hotdrunkpianist]

[points at the green screen across the room... that is looking more red than green down the middle]

[cantmakemoeface]

[There's a headless woman in front of a giant map of Brofist.

It seems that Celty's been charged with doing a weather report. This is one of those times that she wishes she had bothered to learn sign language.

She points at the trailer lot and makes an "X" with her arms. She slaps a Godzilla magnet over the trailer lot then holds up a card that reads "Monster rampage causing major delays."

She points to the market and gives a thumbs up, then holds up another card, "All clear in the WalMarket, but delays may trickle over from monster rampage."

Celty waves at the Camera and holds up one last card. "This has been Celty Sturluson with your traffic report, updating ever half hour. Now back to your regular news."]

1/3

[iamfacepalm]

'Narrating events is a specialty of mine, isn't it? Or, at the very least, I seem to do a lot of it. Maybe this will be up my alley?'

[ He clears his throat once. Okay! Let's do this right. ]

This just in: there is a rabid lion in the studio.

... that's it?

2/3

[iamfacepalm]

[ No. No that's not it.

Because the door's opening on the far side of the studio. ]

3/3

[iamfacepalm]

W-wha--?!

[ JESUS CHRIST

IT'S A LION

GET IN THE CAR

or just run like hell, which Kyon opts for. ]

[shakethatbot]

HYAH!

[Marina Liteyears to the rescue, jetting onto the scene to grapple bare-handed with the lion. The mighty beast lunges, and she grabs onto its jaws. The momentum pushes her back a bit, but once she stops, she starts pulling up on the might cat and lifts its head before proceeding to SHAKE THE EVERLOVING HELL OUT OF IT.]

[pharmacist_maid]

THIS JUST IN, I JUST DOWNED A WHOLE ████████ OF LSD, AND I'M HIGH AS ██████!

BILL COSBY'S OFFERING ME A PAY INCREASE AND SKELETOR JUST INVITED ME TO HIS HOUSE PARTY!

I'M REALLY REALLY HIGH RIGHT NOW!

[Yakui's head starts shaking like an unbalanced laundry machine and she starts throwing her cue cards into the air before falling back out of her chair and off camera.]

[smell_ya_later]

[ Gary's on the scene, deep in some ruins and dressed appropriately. ]

Greetings, loyal fans! Ace Reporter and Archeologist Gary Oak here, with a report that's sure to change history as we know it! I've been working tirelessly with my Pokemon to uncover the secret beneath these ancient ruins, and at long last we've uncovered the treasure chamber! And now, for the first time ever on national television... here it is!

[ The camera follows him into the next room, well-lit by torches; the room is overflowing with coins and gems, but the most prevalent feature is a MASSIVE golden statue of, you guessed it, Gary Oak; the statue is standing with its hands on its hips, grinning triumphantly. ]

That's right, folks! My greatness was predicted by ancient civilizations, where I was worshiped as a god! I, Gary Oak, am a deity.

More on my upcoming religion - and how YOU can worship me! - at 10.

[jukepuff]

[This face.]