Updating, you old stranger. How have you been? Life has been ever-interesting to me, at the very least. Since we last talked, things have been constantly changing. But, as you know, that has been the pattern in my life since I was able to decide my own path. A path I have never been sure of, and still am not. But I shall keep it that way. I might ( Read more... )

Hi. It's been awhile since we talked. We used to be together so much. I thought I knew your secrets and you knew mine. But a veil of troubled childhoods seperates us and is spreading uneasiness like a disease. I want to be open about the things that plague me and have made me into the person I am now. I want you to know me on another level. I want ( Read more... )

If things got any worse, I don't think I would mind very much. The dizziness of learning to trust, learning to love, and learning to commit makes the ground beneath me ever more unsteady. Then throw complications into the kaleidoscope and my feet are not on the ground any longer. At night, I had flashes of dressing myself, pouring myself cereal ( Read more... )

There's something that has a powerful hold on me that invades my thoughts all day and into my dreams. I want it to go away. It scares me and makes me desire things that one should not desire. For health reasons, for religious reasons, for any and all reasons. I am obsessed...

((And I am frightened for myself.))

I have not updated in a long time. ( Read more... )

amazing (or not so amazing) things having a "d" in them:

• diamonds that do a disappearing act
• the darkness at the tla dancing like an '80's hair band
• a darling boy
• detrimental proposals due at the Ohio DOT by Mon., 10 am
• a head of damp curly hair finally growing fastly and freely

The dinner at Ryan's parent's house is not something I wish to discuss. EVER. Amen.

Today is sad. I was hoping that the date would go unnoticed by my usually unobservant eyes, but when things got a little rough between me and him, I saw. I was supposed to get married tommorrow. And that hurts. Alot. And I am eating cookies to feel better and that ( Read more... )

Oh K. What a friggin day this was. Since the calendar says it's the 20th of March (or was yesterday *technically*) that would mean it's Ryan's birthday. Which means it's exciting and there are many things to look forward to. But that is false. Because at about 7 am his day started with a *bang* and his week old car was suddenly plus one (1) dent ( Read more... )

I have been absent from the world of livejournal for a while now. But here I am to update and to take whatever comes with that. My life has been a whirlwind of feelings. So many things have happened that to be able to list them all here would be a accomplishment. Instead, I will merely let anyone who cares know what I am still alive...and kickin ( Read more... )

I'm in a super bad mood today. Last night was a combination of too many dramatic traumatic things happening. First and foremost, I went to see "The Passion..." with my mom. It was intense, graphic, and really rather upsetting. So that unsettled me. So then I go home to finish my book I was reading that upset me even more. It brought up a lot of bad ( Read more... )

today, i feel happy. last night i ran for 40 minutes on the elliptical. without stopping. i thought i would be bored, but it went ok. then i am wearing this springy white skirt and it makes me feel like air beacuse it is almost time for the weather to be a little warmer. lastly, i am awaiting the weekend with much anticipation although my better ( Read more... )