Paper;
Pen.
Screen;
Keyboard.
Put it together.
Blank. Nothing.
I turn on the TV
but the canned laughter
is derisive.
Mute.
"You know why you're not writing?"
His voice startles me.
I thought he was,
as usual,
sound asleep,
a deep-breathing corpse beside me.
"You're letting your creative juices
slack. Writers stay up
all night."
"Not when they have
two babies to get ( Read more... )

She can't stop now;
Her system is running
madly and it won't stop
until the shocks
have knocked her off
her fucking rocker.
Then she shuffles in
terrycloth slippers,
her hair fried and streaked white
from too much misplaced adrenaline.
She lethargcally smiles
now and then,
at all the wrong things.

And her record states
TREATED,
not recovered.
Never recovered, ( Read more... )

Three or four good days
aren't quick to forgive
7,000 bad ones.

The pills, the pills, the pills.
Not too many,
not too few;

It's all about
measuring
those
fucking pills.

I'm my own
pharmaceutical doctor
these days
and I don't know
what the fuck
I'm doing, that's for sure.
I don't understand
the science of these things,
nor do I care.

But there's something
clearly ( Read more... )

FAVORITE:

movies: requiem for a dream, eternal sunshine of the spotless mind, in the bedroom, homeroom.

books: smack by melvin burgess, the bell jar by sylvia plath, she's come undone by wally lamb.

colors: grays & browns.

artists: david delamare, dali, munch, my husband.

poets: nicole blackman, anne sexton, daphne gottlieb, sylvia plath.

music artists ( Read more... )

Nothingness
is much easier to comprehend
than eternity.
We've all experienced our
similar states of blankness;
slowed hearts and still limbs,
unable to shake the dead
from our bones
we carry around like ghosts.
But forever and ever
is something we speak about
only in prayer,
when we can't
otherwise find it
anywhere.

Rehab doesn't do a damn thing
for hell-bent addicts.

Do we live in art
or does the art live in us?
Your voice doesn't match
the content of your words,
so sweet and bubbly
as you read, "What a cunt
that gentleman turned out to be."
(You always speak of your men
with such disdain.)
A cocktail of charm and repulsion
can be quite an appealing
method of seduction.

I've been watching you read for weeks,
in rumpled ( Read more... )

I've tried gallons of perfume and alcohol,
heavy charm bracelets and thick coils of rope,
rusted razors and anything with a sharp point--
now my wrists are rubbed raw
and I can stroke the bones.
(My God,
this shouldn't feel like home.)

When I was a girl
(a daughter still- at least
I slept in the same bed every night)
I inhaled china-white powder
off of my ( Read more... )

so, slight change in wedding plans- the date we're getting married is sat. august 19th. we're doing it privately with a JP on the beach, and then having a dinner reception, just with immediate family (like literally 15 people) afterwards. my dress is pale blue with a silver rhinestone buckle type thing cinched at the cleavage (that i don't have ( Read more... )

We spend our love thriftily
writing screenplays and poetry
speaking routinely in metaphors and white lies
until we can't decipher fact from fiction
and we no longer try.

We paint obscure watercolors until sunrise
and then I can't sleep
through the depth perception tricks
and technical terms you've taught me
swarming in my head like honey bees.

You sleep ( Read more... )