since tuesday there have been full days which no one would suspect there is anything wrong. this morning was not one of them. one dream (and i have vivid ones) threw off a mood that has been pretty stable and, to my surprise and suspicion, more cheerful than i was expecting. i toy with the meanings of that, but not long enough for my mood to take a ( Read more... )

does true love, the "you are everything to me" kind of love really exist? are people wired for the eternal consummation of thoughts and feelings for one person ( Read more... )

its early. im at work. i managed somehow to avoid a hangover. and what i wouldnt give to be back snuggly in bed with that blonde shaggy head to sleep the morning away like A NORMAL PERSON SHOULD BE ABLE TO DO ON SUNDAY MORNING.

vegas was a lot of fun, besides the fact that i lost a good amount of money. but as hubbard put it, "you're paying for entertainment", so what the hell. and the food was, as always, very good and im pretty sure i gained a few pounds (all part of the experience) =D ( Read more... )

People that are, for the most part, content to be single all the other 364 days of the year (give or take a few major holidays) become semi-suicidal on Valentine's Day. What complex creatures we are ( Read more... )

i have been here at work for an hour and it seems the whole of shady canyon has figured out that sunday morning is indeed for sleeping. so the morning sports news is humming in the background, the sunrise (spectacularly bright this morning) is lighting everything up gold inside the fitness center and i have my tea, my mini heater and temporary ( Read more... )

theres a lump in my throat thats growing bigger with the effort it takes to hold back tears ( Read more... )

i think perhaps i needed this. i had forgotten what it was to really stand on my own, make my own plans, and carry myself in an i-can-do-life-all-on-my-own fashion and be truly confident with that. and i dont feel like i really lost anything. how special is that? of course, im speaking from the cushy view of saturday night, and with monday ( Read more... )

Is it the nature of humanity to take good things for granted and to wallow when they turn away from our ideal? I fail to see the happy medium. Is it like us to NEED the trouble and the drama to feel alive; to feel like our lives are exciting and that we, at least, are not the definition of stagnance. Because what, really, is more frightening in ( Read more... )

I was reading up on what certain dreams mean because the other night i had a dream i fell off a very high building and i was thinking "oh god im going to know what it feels like to hit the ground"...and i did actually hit the ground. It was grassy, there were people around playing frisbee, and i should have died on impact but i didnt, so i lay ( Read more... )