I don't even know why I am writing in this thing. No one reads it, and I kind of gave up on it. Guess I just need to get shit off my chest & I'm too lazy/tired to look for my real journal ( Read more... )

So, I reached out for the first time in my life. I told my brother, Ryan, & another good friend of mine that I am going through a real tough time & all I need is for them to understand & to just be there for me. Granted, I couldn't do it face-to-face, but I did it via text/FB message. And you know what? No one responded. You know what else ( Read more... )

It was probably too good to be true.

I'm sure it's just a matter of days until I realize if this was all a waste of my time & emotions.

Every. Fucking. Time.

Will I ever be good enough?

I've decided to reclaim my life. I'm tired of feeling bad all the time. Six days in to this new direction and I feel amazing.

I hope I can keep this going. Forever and ever, amen.

I've been teetering between holding on for dear life or just completely giving up.

I'm completely giving up.

I'm quite certain I am going to die alone.

Awesome...

I am no one special.

The weirdest thing happened to me. I woke up at 2:00 this morning feeling terribly sad & guilty. I felt so bad, I couldn't fall back asleep until after 3. Then I woke up at 5:15 to get ready for work...feeling the exact same. I've been so sad today that I almost feel like crying. And I don't know why. And this guilty feeling is just overwhelming me ( Read more... )

I just want to say: I'm happy. Happier than I have been in years. And, yes, it's all due to a boy. But, gosh darn, he's the most awesomest guy ever.

I really hope nothing derails this one.

Definitely in like with this boy.
Hopefully I don't blow it this time.
*fingers crossed*