Haha. I got stoned again--after I left Chris, who was utterly hopelessly stoned. Jake was jealous. And very very very pissed off that I didn't tell him what I was doing tonight, and Saturday. STUPID BOYS!!! ARRRRRGGGHHHH! But what good came of this, was I realized how crazy I was for him when I was stoned...and it is unfathomable how far the depths ( Read more... )

A few days shy of two months that Jacob crashed my Five Year Plan. And I don't care how he does everything I hate...or that it's about to become impossible to see each other...he is IT. My Happiness. How can this be possible? Me. The person doomed to ever love someone truly...ends up loving something she's hated all along. Something that would ( Read more... )

If words could truthfully narrate the feelings he gives me everyday, I could write a novel for every waking hour spent in his presence.

Thus I realize--

God damnit I'm fucked again.

:)

The last couple weeks have been nothing short of

AMAZING

Jake

Amazing.

So what if he is the epitome of everything I said I would never date...but maybe that's why...maybe this is what Fate was trying to tell me all along.

Sometimes opposities are beautiful.

Jake
Is
So

PERFECT9 months ago, I could have never thought this was what Fate would ( Read more... )

Just pure meaninglessness.

I hate feeling like my life is meaningless. And that's all it has been recently. Blah. Void. Blank. Boring. Nothing there to keep me entertained or happy all the time (or a good percent of the time). Fate is fucking with me. Testing me. And driving me freaking crazy.

Simplistic meaninglessness.

Goddamnit I am so conflicted right now ( Read more... )

mmmmmmm. im a horrible horrible person. i make people do horrible things sometimes. i dont even understand why. its not like im drop dead gorgeous and everyone wants to do horribly bad things to me. ugh. and im falling back into my safety net and that is retarded. well, not really. i just had one bad incident that led one step after another into ( Read more... )

Huh. Who would have thought that I...would choose to exclude the manliness existance in my life for the next 5 years...indeed. I haven't been as happy as I am right now since before I starting dating *and thus throwing my life away to rediculous obsessions with love* *****gets idea to watch moulin rouge and scoff***** about being alone. And I look ( Read more... )

I want to be alone. From now until forever. I want to be alone. Can you see me burn on the inside. I want to be alone. I will always be myself this way. Who wants to be alone. From now until forever. I want to be alone.

You Know You're Addicted to LotR When...

You start quoting from the movie as part of regular conversation ( Read more... )