One year plus. Really? My two year old playing on the floor...myself, reclined on the couch...my head still a scrambled mess as before. At least this time around, therapy is a very real option. Who even comes here anymore...do these things really matter to anyone? Sometimes, I like reading how naive, retarded and hopeless I am. Or was. No. Am. Le ( Read more... )

Shouldn't I be happy.............

:edit: Ironic, my last post was like, 6 days prior to me actually getting pregnant.....wow....

So, I want to work on losing this nasty weight I got going on here...I'm about to hit 150!!! Everyone says I don't look it, and I don't feel it!!!! But, I know it's time. I can't even remember what I used to look like in High School, my tiny little 125 I took so much advantage of. I'm 21 years old....I look okay, and I know I'm not exactly dressing ( Read more... )

 Driving home, my nose catches the scent of sweet jasmine...and thousands of memories flood my mind. I can't help but feel nostalgic...so many times of happiness and freedom. It almost makes me miss....him....

How can you not love your past? Despite all the shit, there's still so much damn good in there...:(

 I feel this INTENSE need to conceive ( Read more... )

Here I am, On the phone again. Awkward silence, on the other end.

It's kind of weird reflecting on myself these days. yet I find myself strangely attracted to this place again.

Sometimes I wish the divine would slap me in the fucking face.

I'm in love, have been since I quite this place. I found my truth, my answer, my husband.

I never thought I'd make ( Read more... )

I cant seem to figure out why I hate every aspect of life at this point in my life. I hate going to school-which I used to love and always looked forward too. I hate art-simply because one teacher made it completely suck for me. I hate work-which I really didn't mind until recently. I hate Jacob-he makes me cry at least 3 times a week now. I hate ( Read more... )

Jake relapsed. I walked out on him, but I came back....Why? I have asked myself everyday since he told me...and only one person has truly made me realize something that quite possibly be the truth ( Read more... )

I'm feeling terribly empty and worthless. My feelings for Jake keep wearing thinner and thinner. Everyday something happens that builds this wall between us or something. He still obviously doesn't give a damn about his life because he hasn't tried to fix anything about it. Everyone knows in times of difficulty you have to do what you have to do in ( Read more... )

Last night I had a very serious talk with Jacob about how I pretty much hate everything about him and that if he didn't respect my wishes, I'm gone ( Read more... )