I miss my friends. I have friends here, but I realized that I don't actually talk to them about anything more than trivial, impersonal matters. Everyone else is just so far away, and we're all so busy. I don't even have anything in particular to talk about--everything's great.  I just feel out of touch.

The only thing that's really on my mind at all ( Read more... )

I'm so grateful for the people who love me. Because as much as we value independence, we need them. Not anyone in particular, just people--to be around us, to be with us.

I'm glad I know now that relationships go through phases. A former me may have quietly lamented the loss of a lover who wanted to see me every day, who would tell me he missed me after one night of chance absence. A younger me may have noticed the new lack of excitement, or wondered at our new speedy, perfunctory goodnights that have replaced the ( Read more... )

I tried very hard throughout high school not to talk about people behind their backs. Now I don't try so hard. I say mean things about people at work and the world does not implode as a result. No one hates me. And I don't feel guilty--I feel better. I feel feminine. Is this bad? Whatever.

I am incredibly bored. Not nothing-to-do-bored, just going-out-of-my-mind-bored. I feel like there is something I am supposed to be doing and I am getting frustrated that I cannot figure out what it is. Very frustrated. I feel as though my head is going to explode. I feel like ther air around me is explosive and any second it will be too late--not ( Read more... )

I am happy that we, as humans, are able to detect the underlying truth through a slight falter in a voice, a faint squint of the eye. I am glad that we can piece history together as we see fit, as we saw it, as the events that only we and we alone, as individuals, were aware took place. Reason and justification become sort of secrets inside us, ( Read more... )

As I'm driving through Providence, eating my ice-cold cheeseburger that I forgot to microwave, I think  In heaven, my food would probably always be the right temperature, even if I don't have a microwave. And by "heaven", of course, I mean a very undefined sort of post-death place-- no religious implications, just heaven as in "as good as it gets".

( Read more... )

Life is getting very predictable. I blame, for the most part, my default night-plan (i.e. visit Rich). Not bad, at all, just...effortless. Comfort has changed my interactions with the world. Strangers are no longer future best friends or make-out buddies-- they're annoyances. What use do I have for them, when my days and nights are already filled ( Read more... )

So many people around me are discontent, desirous, fully aware that life is not fair--which I am sure is probably true. I've found a little nook, a loophole where life can be beautiful from every angle. I feel peaceful. His hands look like little sea creatures flailing across the keys. I'm finding that elusive feeling of "home" more and more as the ( Read more... )

Happiness is so fleeting. There isn't much to say. To dwell and to analyze would be to admit that I trust this joy not to vanish violently. I'm happy--let's just leave it that.