Is there a such thing as too happy? I am rather consumed,--stained, even-- by this, enamored with the idea of this simplicity and this joy and with the change that has taken place in me. Am I letting it control me? Or is it just trusting, letting it be and letting things be good? Sometimes I can't tell and I worry.

Tonight was a dead-end night. Nowhere to go, tonight or tomorrow. I ended up in Providence somewhere, lost in a maze of surreally familiar streets, thanks to the detour. It's funny how that works. I found myself by a sidewalk where I once walked and where I once noticed how red the Providence sky was. I could still see the pedestrian sillouettes ( Read more... )

Oh fuck.

This day is much less awesome than yesterday.

I don't really know what to say ( Read more... )

I recently read a facebook note written by a friend of mine about National Prayer day on May 3rd. Apparently, the Christians are going to pray for the well-being of this country (i.e. "sit there with their thumbs up their asses"), the Atheists are going to go donate blood. Apparently we should stop joining "useless groups about the Virginia Tech ( Read more... )

It's so terrible. And so terribly unfair. I almost feel guilty for feeling stressed out about my stupid tests and my trivial day-to-day mental health. A life is such a bad thing to waste.

I read in a magazine once that sometimes we make excuses for the activities we put off--too busy, too tired--when actually it's just because we're afraid we'll fail.

The first thing that comes to my mind is school. School-- the word causes a cartoon-like cloud of guilt to form over my head. I'm so unmotiviated. It doesn't make any sense--I've ( Read more... )

The rain sounds nice. Piano in the middle of the night is nice. I think I am at the point when I would be very sad if we broke up.

That was an awful dream.

My past year seemed to have revolved around the “seven deadly sins”. Lust, pride, gluttony, wrath…they all sound so terrible. Perhaps I am missing in the point? Although that part of my life has now ended-for various reasons-I think I would still make all of the same decisions if my life were to replay.

Maybe it's a quality of my age, a reckless ( Read more... )