the night does not lay down like the hour, the night does not lay down in 2010.

leaning into this year ending. slowing down and letting go.

here is something strangely safe-feeling about bayview in the dark. maybe knowing that it is morning dark and not evening dark, like walking from williamsburg to brooklyn as the sun is coming up, or trekking across santiago at 10 AM after a night of being Up.

I was eighteen the first time I did cocaine. freshly eighteen. was living in huanchaco, ( Read more... )

anger is so easy to come by today. what do you do if you are trying to hold respectful space around a split and someone refuses to respect your privacy? refuses to take accountability? refuses, for all intents and purposes, to be an adult ( Read more... )

Canary in a Coal Mine, or Zoonosis

by jen westhale

Think of a canary singing during breakfast. Think of breakfast as a safe space. Forget everything you’ve been told about importance, about nutrition, and open up dialogues around the sniff of air not yet settled, sleep positioned long and lithe in the cold of a town with the name of reproductive ( Read more... )

brain cancer. brain tumor.

just want a long hot bath in my new tub, dust particling through the air thick like what we make when we walk into a room together, just add heartheave swell and knotch it like scratches on a headboard, like counting gnarls to see how old a branch is. just want euclyptus bath salts to undo the knots in these tin can wings, to hold this body better ( Read more... )

mahler's resurrection and a gigantic ball jar of chicory and coffee.

today is payday, and the mark of the first time that i can start a savings jar. payday. debt is dwindling down. i found an attic space in alameda to live in, all eaves and wood and slanted light. space for sleeping, space for art. for the first time, space to spread. space for z. ( Read more... )

i am ( Read more... )

 you draw whiskey breathed bent and stern. cramped into corners that you put yourself in. wearing white, free from absorption. finally believing in yourself as an artist, as a creator of things and a theorist, as a perpetuator of the academy. how every person you meet or tipsy drink at a bar or communicate with in letterspace, those you make love ( Read more... )

am deeply happy today ( Read more... )