So he's 7 months old? I'd go with Emma for now and bring it up again at say, 10 months or a year. Let the kid start scrabbling round the house and see how cool he is in the crib a little at a time after that. Mine took to his own bed (with some gentle prodding from us) when he decided sleeping parents' heads were for drum practice. He started getting musical after about a year.
My children were never allowed to sleep in the bed w/ me except for naps. Peditrician felt that while naps encouraged the family bond, child sleeping in own bed was best for the parental "unit". Granted, my kids stayed in the room with me/us until about 10 mos or so, but they were in their own bed. I found that it worked out well. Frieds who have had "family bed" have found their own challenges, breakdowns in relationships, and that their children were ultimately having their own independence issues. Not to mention transitioning them to their own beds proved to be a hellish experience.
Take a moment to stress to your wife that you feel that your relationship could do with a bit of "together time" and consider beginning the transition to where he's in his bed for all naps and perhaps every other night.
Ultimately, you must do what you feel is best for both YOUR child and YOUR marriage. :)
I would say is Emma is having a hard time letting go totally of having the baby sleep in his own room, if there is room bring his crib into your room and start the transition that way. Kids can end up having more seperation anxiety issues later on when they sleep too much with their parents. Parents need their time too or else the stresses can start tearing you apart and that ultimately will result in a high stress kid, even at an early age. The little shits are great emotional barometers. They start picking up on the vibes and will react to it.
Little steps, looks like the way to go. But it should be done as soon as possible. It will make the transition much much easier.
I am not a parent...jmaziarzFebruary 1 2009, 16:22:37 UTC
...but I was a web master for a parenting web site once.
This is not an odd problem. Many have it. At the Boston Parents' Paper, it was called the Family Bed.
Anyway, it's been a while since I've read up what little I have on it, but the transition period advice did include having the crib in the room for a while. I don't recall much else, woefully, but hopefully knowing the name of what some people called it for a while might help if you are looking for advice on-line.
Don't feel too guilty about wanting sex. Yes, it's selfish. But it's also very important to you and for your marriage. When I was talking to a psychiatrist about something else, he emphasized that I shouldn't feel bad about wanting or needing it. It doesn't make you a bad person for wanting it. And you seem to be very willing to work things out so that everyone is happy.
Well. hon, We are having the same issue with Kian. We have tried to get him to sleep in his crib since he was about 3 months old. He did for a little while but then all of a sudden at about 9 or ten months old he decided that he wanted to sleep in our bed. All I can tell you is that we let him fall asleep in our bed and then put him in his crib. Sometimes he sleeps through the night but sometimes he'll wake up in the middle of the night and we bring him back in the bed with us but at least the time he is in his crib gives us time for us. I am hoping he gets used to sleeping in his own room soon. Maybe you guys can try putting a pack n play in your bedroom and see if he'll sleep in there to help transition him and Emma into separate sleeping arrangements. We did that for a while. If anything, I know how you're feeling. You can always call me or something if you want.
The more I hear the more I realise that this is very common and it seem to be more common then not that the parents ultimately end up with children in ther bed til the child is around 3 or yrs old.
That seems to be what I've been hearing as well. Other parents that I've talked to have said that they will grow out of this stage at around 3 years old. Like I suggested maybe you could try putting him in his own bed for at least part of the night. That seems to work ok for us. Oh and don't feel like you're being selfish for wanting to have sex. I felt like that too at first but it really is important for your relationship to find even a little bit of time for just you and Emma. I hope this helps a bit. Hugs
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So he's 7 months old? I'd go with Emma for now and bring it up again at say, 10 months or a year. Let the kid start scrabbling round the house and see how cool he is in the crib a little at a time after that. Mine took to his own bed (with some gentle prodding from us) when he decided sleeping parents' heads were for drum practice. He started getting musical after about a year.
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Take a moment to stress to your wife that you feel that your relationship could do with a bit of "together time" and consider beginning the transition to where he's in his bed for all naps and perhaps every other night.
Ultimately, you must do what you feel is best for both YOUR child and YOUR marriage. :)
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Little steps, looks like the way to go. But it should be done as soon as possible. It will make the transition much much easier.
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This is not an odd problem. Many have it. At the Boston Parents' Paper, it was called the Family Bed.
Anyway, it's been a while since I've read up what little I have on it, but the transition period advice did include having the crib in the room for a while. I don't recall much else, woefully, but hopefully knowing the name of what some people called it for a while might help if you are looking for advice on-line.
Don't feel too guilty about wanting sex. Yes, it's selfish. But it's also very important to you and for your marriage. When I was talking to a psychiatrist about something else, he emphasized that I shouldn't feel bad about wanting or needing it. It doesn't make you a bad person for wanting it. And you seem to be very willing to work things out so that everyone is happy.
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http://www.parenthood.com/article-topics/F/family_bed
Good luck.
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Hugs
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