(Untitled)

[bullsit]

[ wow everyone sure is depressed lately it is time for the newly-confident Toreador to HELP CHEER EVERYONE UP with the power of

HILAROUS JOKES!!!!

these atrocious things all come over the phone and are also all hilarious okay BEGIN LAUGHING NOW ]

[ A. ]  Hey, uh, do you know if your thermal hull is running?

[ B. ] Um, hi, I am calling here, today, to

Comments

C

[foretastes]

[Terezi deepens her voice.]

Yeah, that's me! What do you want?

[bullsit]

Uh, wait, you mean your name, is actually, you know, that?

[foretastes]

Yeah! [loling]

[bullsit]

Oh.

I'm really sorry, for your unfortunate name, Mr. Bhrone Bulgee, and I won't, uh, call again, whoops.

D

[crusthatecean]

Oh, sure. I'm not busy or anything, thanks for calling about this important matter.

[bullsit]

Well this is super important business, for the Audio Hook Company, so, if you would repeat after me: I am, uh, somewhat of a big loser.

[crusthatecean]

Okay, well, I hope I heard you right, you know how audio hooks can be. Let's see, was it...

You are a whole new scientific classification of losing. Poets kill themselves in despair attempting to find adjectives that could possibly describe the incomprehensible enormity of your losing. If losing was a sport, they would pass you up for every trophy and instead give you the Nice Try award. You fail on planes of reality that haven't been discovered yet, because attempting to conceptualize their depths literally causes the think pans of our greatest minds to immediately liquidate into pools of bubbling excrement. Simply the act of inventing metaphors for the extent to which you're a loser fills me with a gaping and hollow sense of inadequacy that allows me to understand you like never before, and I know I've failed at this just as you've failed to not completely waste my time.

How was that?

[bullsit]

. . . Uh, the audio hook software, does not recognize that, so maybe you could try again, but this time with less of the insulting me, and more of the accidentally insulting yourself, in a humorous fashion.

fIGHT ME, oh yeah E

[frogst]

Golly, I've never heard of an upsexy before! What is it?

fIGHTS!!!! [1/2]

[bullsit]

Don't you mean, uh, what is upsexy?

[2/2]

[bullsit]

--Wait, no, uh, that is not what I meant at all.

[frogst]

What is... hehehe! Tavros, you sure are corny!

D

[hwamei]

Aww, well, sure I'll help, Tavros! What do I have to do?

[bullsit]

Who is, uh, Tavros, I don't know that guy, at all, and have no clue, why he would possibly be, um, conducting this call, but I'm sure, he is a pretty cool dude, whoever he is.

[hwamei]

[ laughs!! wait that wasn't part of the joke was it ] Oh, I dunno about cool...

[bullsit]

Uh, maybe at least, tepid, or possibly even edging towards vaguely chilly?

D

[ralschild]

Whoever you are, you are a very horrible liar, you know?

[bullsit]

Yes, you are probably right, that I need to improve my, uh, deception skill set, but that is not really, the issue right now.

[ralschild]

...Then what is?

[bullsit]

. . . Well, I guess that successfully completing the prank, would involve me having to call again, using a different voice, and it is possibly, a little late for that now.