It's almost five am. I've avoided my bed because it seems small and empty. And my old room, doesn't seem like my room. I miss him, but I'm not sure exactly what about him I miss. I feel horrible, confused, ashamed, embarrassed. I can't even really talk about it. All the lies. At times I wonder why I left. If there wasn't more I could do to actually ( Read more... )

As I sit here in the family room, Madden curled up next to me on the love seat, him on the other couch, I can't bare the thought of leaving, mostly leaving Madden, but I know I can't handle staying here any longer. I tell him, "All things end badly or else they wouldn't end". It's my small way of trying to avoid a fight. He's says, "You're the one ( Read more... )

It's one of the days where I wanna run away. I've got some major straightening out to do. And I have no idea where to begin. I feel isolated and down. I know this isn't the greatest update, but I'm going to try more.

Between rising before the sun and laying down again after the moon has rose, there are these moments where I feel like I've misplaced something. Like, half of my soul isn't with me, like it's still tucked under the covers at home. It's these moments when I miss him so much that I can feel my body physically craving his. His skin, his weight, his ( Read more... )

I've got the Man, I've got the Job, I'm getting the education and the house, if there's something else I'm forgetting to get, eventually I will

my life right now is the calm before storm.

And he said, "You will be my wife that I shall cherish and hold for all the days of my life. I love you." And she knew that this was it.

I wish I could take back everything I said about Joe. I was only trying to convince myself that I wanted that. So everyone who said wait awhile and you'll be saying Thank God I didn't move in with Joe was right. You can hit me up with a Told Ya So.

I hate it when my friends do things together with my other friends and don't invite me ( Read more... )

A strange thing happened the other night, a handsome man was laying in my twin bed with me, his arm and leg drapped across my body. I told him I miss Brent and how I wished he was here. He sighed, squeezed my shoulder and said, "I know". I didn't ask him if he was missing anyone, truthfully I didn't care ( Read more... )