I really miss my best friend.

[bunnylucious]

After a couple of months of just shoving the feelings deep down and screwing myself up in every way, I started making strides to deal with what I was compartmentalizing/repressing. Back in December I started, consciously, repressing my feelings and memories, then around February I began to take them and compartmentalize them. By April, I felt

Comments

[jackstylez]

I'm so sorry you're hurting =(

The Hanged Man comparison seems appropriate... do you think you've gained any new insight?

[bunnylucious]

Oh yea, totally. In a couple of different ways, really. But in one particular way, I know the revelation is there but I am still sorta hiding from it. I don't want to admit it. But that's why I wrote about it: To get it. Once it finally sinks in, then what to do with it. I have to face that I really want him back in my life. Although my pride and self preservation says hell no, my spirit and intuition keeps rejecting the idea that it is over. That's why I tried to starve it, self preservation took over and anger made it's way in. You can't shut out your higher priestess. She will go ape shit on you; that is another valuable thing I learned

[glitterypenguin]

There is some fantastic imagery here...and I wish I was more versed in Tarot than I am ;)

::hugs tight:: im so sorry you're hurting though :( Its completely understandable :( Im still messed up at times and learning new ways (by unpacking the abuse boxes) that my ex's fucked my head, but it is really starting to get better... Im hoping that once your inner beings stop warring with eachother that it'll get easier, no matter which way the decisions go.

Love ya--- sending you hugs :)

[bunnylucious]

I am surprised I remember as much about tarot as it's been a long time since I've done any spreads.
Thanks for the support and love! It really means a lot. I'm just trying to find what I enjoy and put myself into it. I just work and do stuff with the kids. I pamper myself and I've gone on a diet to lose this unhealthy weight, but I need a hobby. My coworker asked me what I enjoy doing and I came up with a big old question mark. I'm overwhelmed by the job and mommy duties that I have completely forgotten what things I enjoy.