So instead, I'll update here with a new meme! yay!

Okay okay so you post your name here and I'll make up total lies about you and how I want to fuck you in the ass until you die only not really because I have no penis but hooooo boy do I have one hell of a phorobiscus

Wait, I think I fucked that up, can I try again?

No?

:(

Or: Why living on the road totally rules ( Read more... )

The other night it was unbearably slow in the kitchen, and out of sheer desperation for something to do, I decided to chat up Steve, one of our dishwashers. Steve is an elderly gentleman whith massive eyebrows and a look in his eye that tells you he's beaten people up for being taller than him before (he's like 4'10', I swear). As we tallk, which ( Read more... )

Hey hey guess what no livejournal would be without? That right, a dream log! HOORAY! I'm not sure where the hell this came from, but I'm pretty sure that a combination trying to kill myself with vodka (note- if you really want to feel like a queer, serve a bunch of polish guys FRENCH vodka made from fucking GRAPES(>:() in champange flutes. At ( Read more... )

So yeah even though it's been four days since I came home my visit to New York is STILL the most interesting thing that has happened to me recently so hey let's talk about that for a while ( Read more... )

So here I am in Vermont, a state so beautiful it makes you want to kill yourself. I normally wouldn't have any problems with this BUT the constant massive rainstorms (a wedding we were hosting yesterday almost flew away because of them) and less-than-groomed dirt roads has left me sans one Suburban and one tree sans a whole lot of bark. I totally ( Read more... )

Okay so I'm about to have this HUUUUUGE and SCARY cooking final in about one week where you just get some food and they say COOK IT, MOTHERFUCKER. The only recipies you are allowed to use are the ones you have memorized, so I guess over the next few days I'll be posting recipies I learned in class that I want to remember. My terror is your gain ( Read more... )

Our server is fucked. FUCKED.

No, I don't know why.

:(

BAM

I suppose fortune just being held up by traffic.

So yeah, lots of things have happened in the last year since I looked at this thing, but talking about them makes me feel all DUMB AND WEEPY :(

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OF ALL THIS BULLSHIT!

Ho ho ho ho.

If you are wondering who is back in his big gay pink leather saddle it would be ME, bitches. Now, for an update on things:

RBF should be updating in a week or two. IF YOU LOVE ME YOU WILL HELP ME FIND STORIES STARRING THE RETARDED ( Read more... )