i'm trying to be really careful not to promise myself anything. We are who we are and all that. But if theres nothing to be gleaned from this, then it's all pretty goddamn dismal. Just another deeply fucked up event in our lives that we walk out of the same people we were before. So I'm not making any promises. It's more of a wish list. It became ( Read more... )

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Meatwad: Come on everybody! Group hug! ...Boxy, what's wrong?
Boxy Brown: Don't you ever leave me with that fool again. I'll slit you up the middle!
Meatwad: Okay Boxy...
Boxy Brown: Okay nothin'! Mother fucker did not feed us!
Meatwad: I... I will. I will know better next time.
Boxy Brown: He peed on me, bitch!
Meatwad: Frylock, get him off of me please ( Read more... )

Dear Women-

I'm new to this craigslist posting thing, but I feel like I have a lot to offer the right lady.

Now, before you go jumping to all kinds of crazy conclusions- please don't.

I promise, if you go out on a date with me, I won't try to have sex with you.

Hear me out:

I lost 79% of my genitals in a greasefire while working at Arby's 28 months ( Read more... )

Looks like it's friends only.