*lots of random 'blarghs' and snarling*

Random processor malfunction...

*Windows error message noise, followed by appropriate background music before Inferno breaks into the following peppy musical number*

I am the very model of a modern major Predacon
I fight and burn and serve the will of my noble Queen Megatron
Until the day arrives when we reclaim ( Read more... )

 *happened to look in a mirror*

...WHAT?!

I DEMAND TO KNOW WHO IS RESPONSIBLE FOR THESE CARICATURES OF WASPINATOR PAINTED ALL OVER MY ARMOR! SOMEONE SHALL BURN FOR THIS!!!

 He's gone.

I was so close, and now he's gone.

Gone.

 Why? WHY?

Never before have I failed to carry out my Queen's command... Why couldn't I terminate him? Megatron ordered me to terminate him, and I faltered!

Curse you to the Pit, Waspinator...

 Oh great....not this defective scrap heap of a bot again. Never, even amongst the Maximals, have I encountered such a nuisance!

In fact, all of the other bots here are assembly line rejects...save perhaps for Waspinator. I used to work with bots that any Predacon would be proud to know.

...I wish Megatron was here.

 Foolish organic tourists...invading my colony and squealing and harrassing me...loud and obnoxious and disruptive, I should BURN THEM ALL...

...Except the one wearing Megatron's likeness on her shirt. She is permitted to live.

 An interdimensional portal? Strange that my sensors have not picked up anything unusual.

Perhaps this means there is a chance of finding Megatron!

 These organics...if only we had BURNED their flea-bitten ancestors when we had the chance! The two designated Schuldich and Chloe will feel my wrath for this!

((Feel free to have characters notice him flying around town with his flamethrower, ranting and flailing))

 *SIGH*

Being human is so BORING. I can't fly, I can't fight, and I can't understand how they stand to spend so much time on refueling and recharging. How do organics entertain themselves, anyway?

 NOT AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!