-
linkin park pushing me away reanimation
When I look into your eyes
There's nothing there to see
Nothing but my own mistakes
Staring back at me
I've lied to you...
This is the last smile
That I'll fake for the sake of being with you...
Everything falls apart
( Read more... ) -
Dear Sasha
Doubts. We all have them, most of the time they are unwarrented. In this case i'm not sure. I don't know what to think to be honost. usually my dreams are pretty on point as to what is irritating me when I can figure out what. But this doesnt make sense and at the same time makes perfect sense. I keep dreaming about when I found out I was pregnant ( Read more... ) -
Dear Sasha
So it's been quite a number of years now. Yet once again the holiday season is upon us and your memories come back to haunt me all over again. Last night was pretty bad. Fuck that, Last night was complete hell. I hate how every year now since you died I have nightmares of that aweful night. I wake up pissed off and ready to scream. I want to fight ( Read more... ) -
for my mommy community page
Name: Sephy ( Read more... ) -
Dear Allysin
Well, life isnt perfect by a long shot. But it's still pretty damned good right now. Even with you being fussy ^_^. Sadly right now you aren't feeling very well. Poor mnchkin, your cutting your very first tooth ^_^. We are keeping you content though ^_^. And you have officially discovered your voice today. I say this becuase you have now started ( Read more... ) -
Dear today, you suck!
You ever have one of those really shitty days where you wake up wrong and it just sets your whole day into that motion. Thats my day today, I am trying to make sure it does not stay this shit day but it is proving very difficult at the moment. While my amazing daughter and her father have been wonderful and I have no complaints there, I do however ( Read more... ) -
Dear Allysin
Dear Allysin Renee Meagher,
I am soo happy to finally have you in the world. Your a beautiful little girl and I can't imagine life without you anymore. I am gonna start writting you letters. This way in the future you can look back and see for yourself what mommy went through with and for you ^_^.
As of now you are six days old. I went through 26 ( Read more... ) -
bad dream coming true???
hmm, Im not quite sure how to put this into words that I won't look back on and regret. But I suppose I'm just going to have to take that risk because I can't keep bottling this up. It's making me sick.
Tim has now gone past the point of not being himself. He has had panic attacks where he thinks of these conspiracy theories that everyone is in on ( Read more... ) -
Dear Sasha
It's been a while since I've written to you. Things have been......differant lol. Not that it wasn't expected. I just wasn't expecting this much of a change I guess. I know I will be happy as soon as the baby gets here. I love her a ton already ^_^ We decided on naming her Allysin. Middle name to be decided. But she will have her daddy's last name ( Read more... ) -
I kinda hate this shit.
I hate how right now I feel like I'm constantly down on myself. I don't think I'm good enough or pretty enough. I hate how I keep comparing myself to other people from your past, and I hate how I find nothing wrong with them and everything wrong with me. I hate how I can't seem to understand why your with me, why you got with me to begin with, why ( Read more... )