When I actually try and think about what I want for my future I am very conflicted and see everything as a been all end all ( Read more... )

I dont want to be here anymore.
Wtf was that run around conversation
i'm remembering why i dont like october anymore
everyone is burnt out but cant see the end
tired no money
I miss hanging out with people
I miss having compaionship
I have friends but we dont do anything together

I guess i'm back to posting on this old thing. Here is an update to you blog and anyone who might ever read this ( Read more... )

redo redo redo
back to high school
its all too different
i dont feel close with my family anymore
I dont want that in my life
I want them to be there
I hate this
Im so dumb

I love my friend katie but damn ( Read more... )

decided that im going to only spoke when spoken to now.

I really hope I get something in the end
I feel like I deserve nothing
I feel so fucking numb all the time
I want to get excited for something without feeling guilty
I want a cool trip abroad
or a roadtrip
I want opprotunities but I do not deserve them
because im depressed, and a brat

sigh
sigh
sigh
sigh
sigh

I've been dating Keny. I'm not gay, if I was we would have dealt with that a long time ago. I really do think of Keny as a boy ( Read more... )

I hate who I am

I'm whiney
Bitchy
Even more over insensitive
I'm constantly trying to impress people and improve myself

etc.

I just hate who I am, because all these things are magnified a thousand times when i'm in Seattle.
Which I think is why I prefer to be alone here so that I don't have more and more reasons to hate myself.