This might be an unwise thing to do, asking for your opinions, but I think it's an interesting question in the abstract, even though it's a real situation. Here's the story
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Choosing what to wear?! Sounds like you've already made the decision to go ;o) One thing though. Has he really aknowledged/ apologised for his treatment of you back then? If he's truely grown up he would have realised what his actions put you through. If he hasn't done this, might he just be hoping, as you said, for "a few home comforts"?
Choosing what to wear?! Sounds like you've already made the decision to go
Exactly what I thought, hahahaha!
I'd go smart/casual. Not mumsy but not tarty either. Nice tailored black suit or something and tasteful jewellery.
The thought that you might leap into bed with him scares you? Wow. I'd be safe and I know it...I'm really good at knowing when to stop. Only you know about YOU though.
I'm going to answer Reg's Comment now...see I think he is a very dangerous man to me...I actually think he is one of the very few guys who could ACTUALLY talk their way into my iron clad panties.
"The thought that you might leap into bed with him scares you? "
No I don't think I would leap into bed with him - I'm a bit Iron clad myself! I suppose what concerns me more is the turmoil the whole thing might stir up - you know, old hurts I thought I'd dealt with, old insecurities I thought I grown out of. Thing is, I'm fairly sure none of that kind of thing would happen, but can you ever really know until you put it to the test, and if I did get the iron clads in a pickle, what would be the point? I suppose I can see a lot of potential dangers but not many positive benefits. Why would it be a good thing to see him??? I can't think of a good reason at this stage.
I can't think of a good reason at this stagescarletdemonMay 26 2004, 04:47:15 UTC
Don't do it just to please him, you don't owe him anything. Save your money and your Brownie points for an LJ meet-up or a ratty one. New people are more fun than dredging up the past. In other words, meet me! I'm better than HIM. ;)
I suggest if you do go through with it, go out to lunch together, have something else planned for after lunch so he can't commendeer you if you don't want him to,and if it's a good thing, then schedule another outing. But that's just what I would do. Have an excuse to bail if at all possible. The minute he starts hinting about those old comforts, narrow your eyes and as coldly as possible tell him, "We parted ways 20 years ago, what makes you think you can waltz back into my life now? We're both married people" The more indignant the better. JMHO, YMMV
1. Discuss with husband. Honestly and don't try to make it sound so "nothing nothing" or "gee please dad can I".
2. Read Eris' post again. Done? Read it again, please.
3. Don't go. You are contemplating going because it makes your heart pound alittle faster, makes you feel alittle "dangerous" and "sexy" when you know perfectly well that it'd be a huge disappointment with alot of very awkward silences and averting of eyes. You'll go home, see your dear husband and think what a fool you were for even thinking that a half a second of heart pounding was worth going to meet this guy.
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One thing though. Has he really aknowledged/ apologised for his treatment of you back then? If he's truely grown up he would have realised what his actions put you through. If he hasn't done this, might he just be hoping, as you said, for "a few home comforts"?
oh, and go glam!!
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Exactly what I thought, hahahaha!
I'd go smart/casual. Not mumsy but not tarty either. Nice tailored black suit or something and tasteful jewellery.
The thought that you might leap into bed with him scares you? Wow. I'd be safe and I know it...I'm really good at knowing when to stop. Only you know about YOU though.
I'm going to answer Reg's Comment now...see I think he is a very dangerous man to me...I actually think he is one of the very few guys who could ACTUALLY talk their way into my iron clad panties.
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No I don't think I would leap into bed with him - I'm a bit Iron clad myself! I suppose what concerns me more is the turmoil the whole thing might stir up - you know, old hurts I thought I'd dealt with, old insecurities I thought I grown out of. Thing is, I'm fairly sure none of that kind of thing would happen, but can you ever really know until you put it to the test, and if I did get the iron clads in a pickle, what would be the point? I suppose I can see a lot of potential dangers but not many positive benefits. Why would it be a good thing to see him??? I can't think of a good reason at this stage.
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first off, tear away the tapestry of who you think you are, and look into the cage at the beast hidden below,..
ask yourself, given no moral constraints, what do you feel could/should happen, then walk this concept for a while,..
should you talk/be talked into wandering this course can you find your way back?,..
once you've disrobed the potential of what could be, and feasted your hunger upon the sensual and emotional possibilities,.
will the itch of every day trappings prove too much, and you'll be constantly fighting the battle of exposed desire screaming for release
will the things that are, bear the burden of the shifting of what might have been, to the top of the heap,...
look hesitantly into this cage, catch the eye of this beast, look deep into the desire burning there, and ask,.. shall i set it free?
this is an answer that only you can expose,....o.o
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Have an excuse to bail if at all possible. The minute he starts hinting about those old comforts, narrow your eyes and as coldly as possible tell him, "We parted ways 20 years ago, what makes you think you can waltz back into my life now? We're both married people" The more indignant the better.
JMHO, YMMV
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2. Read Eris' post again. Done? Read it again, please.
3. Don't go. You are contemplating going because it makes your heart pound alittle faster, makes you feel alittle "dangerous" and "sexy" when you know perfectly well that it'd be a huge disappointment with alot of very awkward silences and averting of eyes. You'll go home, see your dear husband and think what a fool you were for even thinking that a half a second of heart pounding was worth going to meet this guy.
/hug
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