Things are better or at least getting there.  I've gone back to work full time which has been hard but good as well.  I like making more money and physically it's getting a bit easier on the leg.  I don't know if I'll ever be able to stand long periods on a concrete floor but I'm trying.  With my next paycheck my bills will all be up-to-date and I ( Read more... )

I made a choice last night.  I'm done with all of this.  With being tired and in pain and looking like crap all the time.  Maybe it's because of him, maybe it's inspite of him, maybe it has nothing to do with him.  But I know I'm done.  I'm going to work harder at healing, I'm going to get more rest, spend more time with my girls, put back the ( Read more... )

I changed my journal layout as you can tell.  Nothing huge, but I figured with the changing of the season I would do a little myself.  This is my favorite time of year and with Halloween fast approaching it is my favorite holiday.  I doubt I'll have any trick or treaters this year but I decorated my house and I'll buy candy too just in case.  You ( Read more... )

Chel made me realize how quickly my own 30th birthday is approaching.  In 12 and a half weeks I'll be entering a new decade.  Definitely no hiding from adulthood now I guess.  :-)  I'm not wondering where it's gone so much as I'm wondering where it's going.  I guess what I'm really thinking is this...  Is there a point to my life.  Everyone wants ( Read more... )

If maybe I was right about all those things I had begun to think I was wrong about.  Maybe I was bitter and cyncial about things but at least I knew who I was and what I believed.  I'm sitting here now wondering do I try again for something I didn't even believe in a year ago or do I do what my brain says is right and walk away.  I miss the woman I ( Read more... )

I'm surprised by the moments in my life sometimes.  Moments that I never expected to experience.  Things like my job or my relationship or even my family ( Read more... )

 I always feel like that.  Like no matter what I do or who I'm with I'm never good enough.  Not for my parents, my sister, my friends, my co-workers, or the guy who supposedly loves me ( Read more... )

I went to a wedding today for a co-worker.  Perhaps the only co-worker who has made any real effort to get to know me since returning to work.  Brooke, she's sweet, young, mother of a toddler, and madly in love with the man she married today.  Adam, I don't know much about him but from what I've seen he seems like a really good guy.  They had a ( Read more... )

So someone told me the other day that according to NC law the state considers you married if you've lived together for a year.  I don't know if it is true and if it is it seems a little backwoods after only a year but I started thinking.  Nick and I have been living together for a year this month.  Does that mean we're married?  And why does a ( Read more... )

Do I know you?  Have we met?  You seem familiar somehow.  Like a girl I use to know years ago.  She dyed her hair strange colors, had a leopard print cowboy hate, and didn't care if she failed, she tried anyway.  I liked her.  I miss her.  I wonder where she went.  I think maybe she fell asleep a couple of years ago or went into hiding.  Maybe to ( Read more... )