i'm getting so much of my life back. new york, weekends, i'm even getting the hundred dollars he owed me. if i could get all the bus trips back, the walks through the snow and the rides through new jersey rural neighborhoods... if i could get my 8 months back ( Read more... )

just to take notes on my life, so i can study for the tests ( Read more... )

I need an ethical construct more substantial than "What I Want Now = Good."  For the one thing, it's not even true.  I've been having a hard time finding anything true to believe in, but I happen to know for a fact that mindless self-indulgence is eating away at something inside me.  I'm not sure what I'm losing here, but I can feel it rotting away ( Read more... )

I was SO planning to get laid this afternoon.
Instead, I sniffled and did English homework.

Oh, update: I think I may have Bird Flu. Go, me.

COLUMBIA CLASS OF '10
(!)
times a MILLION BILLION TRILLION GAZILLION!

I must be insane. That is the only explanation. Mood swings, hatred, irrational tears and laughing and emotional bullshit and betrayal and jealousy. I feel hideous and out of control. I'm sorry.

It's taken me this long to realize that the year and a half that I gave up on love was the happiest of my life ( Read more... )

You know what's nice?
Only knowing who's in your house by seeing the shoes by the front door, counting the glasses of wine, and hearing two sets of snoring.
Coming home to a pacified and unconscious check-in. Ahhhh...

You know what would be nice?

If your boyfriend didn't tell you how much he missed you, then forget all about you the next day and make promises to someone else.

That might be nice.

Oh, boy oh boyoboyo. I need to figure out what this feeling I'm having is. Some fluid chemical ether is flowing around in my body-shell and I need to understand what is happening to my brain so that I can think of the individual chemicals, there names, their beautiful frightening reactive sways and dances and imbalances ( Read more... )