Prayer is for people who are too weak to believe in themselves.
Arguments based in faith are not, in fact, actual arguments.

I am refocusing any energy I once spent on being a good person and reapplying it toward making a lot of money. That is all.

Bart: Look at me, I’m a grad student. I’m thirty years old and I made $600 last year.”
Marge: “Bart! Don’t make fun of grad students! They just made a terrible life choice.”

"In no way am I endorsing you using any drugs. I've done a lot of drugs and they've all done bad things. And I did a shit-ton of acid and it fucking changes you, man; you're fucking different. Your brain changes. I had a bad trip once where I thought I was dead. I couldn't feel my heartbeat and I couldn't move and I thought, 'this is what death ( Read more... )

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"Forget it, I quit, I can't do this anymore, man. My head's about to explode. My whole life sucks. I don't know where I'm going, what I'm doing. My dad just died, we just killed Bambi, I'm out here getting my ass kicked and every time I drive down the road I wanna jerk the wheel INTO A GODDAMNED BRIDGE EMBUNKMENT ( Read more... )

I'm having some T-shirts made. They're going to say:
"I don't give a fuck what you do for a living.
Please don't waste your breath telling me all about it."

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10. Paulie gets a sweet robot for his birthday ( Read more... )