Many years of pornography have finally begun to warp my fragile mind.

I miss my Hermitage at times like these…

"Wouldnt it be more of an act of rebellion if you didnt spend so much time buying blue hair dye and going out to get punky clothes....You want to be an individual, right? You look like you are wearing a uniform, i mean you look like a punk. That's not rebelling, thats fashion ( Read more... )

"I don't have the same gag reflex as other girls… I am the best girlfriend ever. I give the world's greatest blowjobs. Really, it's all about concentric circles and the balls."
- Jessica: Giving just a little too much information.

"Once my nipples are pierced, I'm getting some bling-bling for them and I'll show 'em to everybody."
- Jenny: Proving ( Read more... )

Man taken into custody ( Read more... )

"I'd like to punch a girl in the face during sex.
No you wouldn't.
Yeah you're right, I'd just like to have sex, but the punch in the face is like the + on the A."
.... Oh the things that get said in the Hermitage.

"When was the last time you wanted to say it all to the right person? To have it all come out right, to surprise yourself at how together you could be. When was the last time you ever met someone who made you want to give it all to them? I mean give yourself to them. Where you couldn't express yourself enough - like you wanted to cut off one of ( Read more... )

Lemme just throw this out there: I hate vegetarianism. In theory it's cute and all, but it's bullshit propogated by elitist assholes who think they're taking up some ritcheous cause on behalf of animals. Sadly, however, most of them are dirty hypocrites. Not eating meat is a choice; eating meat is an instinct ( Read more... )

"Ben's not the grizzled loner you think he is, he's just surly... and he needs to get laid ( Read more... )

Now, normally, I have a general disdain for Northwestern's newspaper. Comparitively, with the money, staff, resources and clout they have compared to Eastern, their paper is a fucking rag, making even U of I look good by comparison. But then again, as always, I'm proven wrong. This column is fucking great. Read on ( Read more... )