FIC: Broken Ice

[calis_1st]

Title: Broken Ice
Author: calis_1st
Rating: PG
Characters: Neal, Peter, Jones
Spoilers: 5.06, Ice Breaker, and earlier episodes.
Word count: ~ 3200

Disclaimer: Characters are all from the brilliant mind of Jeff Eastin.

Summary: What if Jones arrived a few seconds later ....  an alternate ending for "Ice Breaker"

Note: Written in response to a Collar

Comments

[ocmiss]

More? Please ?
I didn't expect Peter to react that way, my heart broke a million times for Neal :( At least it is very canon-ish and in character (Peter lack of understanding is really frustrating).

[calis_1st]

I really want Peter and Neal back together again, too, and it can't happen soon enough. They certainly need to talk, but their different world views might only let each understand what the other has done/been through; it doesn't necessarily mean they'll be completely accepting. I just hope it doesn't get glossed over in canon.

Re: "More?" I've thought about going further, but decided it should end here (it might not be a happy ending, but it seemed like the right one). On the other hand, ummm, maybe?

Thanks so much for reading and for taking the time to comment.

[palombaggia]

I think this is the first fic I read from you. I definitely need to investigate more on your LJ. This was ...WAOW
Very well written and completely in line with what they stand for at the moment.
That line " I'm ready to pull the plug" just killed me.
Congrats

[calis_1st]

Welcome to my journal - I'm a slow and sporadic writer so it shouldn't take you too long. ;)

They were not in a happy place during this ep, and who would have thought that it would get worse. Let's hope they turn that corner soon.

Thanks so much for reading!

[embroiderama]

Aw, wow! I love that while you have some excellent hurt and comfort here, you nonetheless don't fix anything. That's kind of a different way to go, and I like it.

[calis_1st]

Thank you so very much! As much as I'd love to fix them, they're going to have to do it themselves. Let's hope....

[catu2111]

Excellent, excellent, excellent story. It portraits so well the characters, not our idealized view of them, but the real conflicted human ones that is both sad to read and at the same time refreshing.

[calis_1st]

"Conflicted" absolutely describes them this season. Thank you so, so much for your kind words.

[bluegreen_17]

Lovely fic, and wistful too. I like that both Peter & Neal are struggling with their relationship, and are giving it some serious thought.

This is a stupid question, but I have to know: did Neal also get punched in the face, or did Jones get there in time? The nosebleed has me confused.

Very powerful image when Peter comes upon Neal looking just like Siegel. Loved Neal's "Bleeding stopped. Feel like shit. Don't need a lecture." and Peter's reaction. Thank you!

[calis_1st]

Thank you! I'm so glad that you liked this and appreciate you kind words.

And, no, it was not a stupid question, obviously I should have been clearer. Neal did not get punched in the face (Jones did stop that) but he got a bloody nose from hitting his head. I'm pretty sure I used to get bloody noses in my wild child days from hitting my head (or just, I don't know, walking).

[bluegreen_17]

Thank you, I thought it might be that, but I've never had a nosebleed in my life (not even that time I was hit in the nose with a basketball) so I tend to associate it with more serious blows. But this makes perfect sense, and also explains why Jones would feel that he's "saved" Neal rather than figuring out that he's already in trouble. I can now imagine the sequence perfectly :) (very important in h/c fic!)