i hate that i can't make up my mind.
i hate that i like this boy
but we're completely different.
and it would never work out.
i hate that i'm so difficult.
i hate that i can't get my head straight.
i hate that i feel the way i do.
i hate that everything never goes smoothly.
i hate the things i do.
the desicions i make.
but most of all,
i hate the fact that my ( Read more... )

out of sight out of mind.

i don't know which is worse,
doing drugs to take the pain away.
or eating it away.
hah.

have you ever had a kiss that 
youve been waiting for
and anticipating for so long
that all you can do is cry?
yeah i miss that.

but youre out of my life now and i shouldn't even be thinking of you.
i wish i didn't know you.
kiss you.
i wish you didn't leave me.

i wish i didn't have feelings.

 name 10 people that have somehow impacted your life. 2007/2008

only i'm not writing any names.
fuck.

1. you're homo and my civil union partner.
we are "BACK TOGETHER AGAIN" aka what sandy would say cause she so would say something like that. lets see each other every godamn day. holla!

2. ____ BABY ah ahahaha. reppin that global traxxx. lets record and ( Read more... )

okay what i did.
i regret.
probably the worst thing
 i could have done.

i don't want to talk about it.

so things are kinda the way they were before.
with the parties and the people.

i don't really know how i feel about things right now.
i replay things in my head all the time.
i wish i didn't.
cause when i do things i want to feel like
i have no regrets. 
but i do.

i'm listening to old songs like still fly by the big tymers.

fuck its such a good song.
i'm ( Read more... )

thought i've been i love before but in my heart i wanted more
seems like all i really was doing was waiting for you.
don't need to be alone.
its real love.

i think this will always and
forever will be my favorite.

p.s. brandon is such a fucking douche bag.
hahahahahaha.
never again.

 i don't plan on being depressed.
i spent too much of my time and energy last year feeling
like shit.
i don't need it again.
i don't need this.
i don't need anyone.
i'm fine.
i'm fine.
i'm fine.
i'm not as strong as i used to be but goddamnit
i'm not doing this shit again.
fuck everyone.
fuck the person i used to be
fuck the person i am today.

 i like this boy!
and likeeee
i don't know.
it doesnt seem like he's interested.
but at the same time it seems like he is.
and it sucks cause hes like hard to get
but i guess thats what makes me like him even more.
the fact that he isn't easy to get.
i think i might actually like him.
i'm so used to just getting what i want.
that its like making me anxious.
( Read more... )