every place i turn, i cant find what im looking for. ive lost it all. everything ive known has fallen through. ive lost almost everything and everyone that had hope and trust in me. real hope. real trust. i lost the one person i love most and the people who believed in me most. and now theres so much for me to fix and do, that i cant seem to find a ( Read more... )

I press the point
and feel my skin part
like it's the Red Sea and I'm Moses
only now do I realize
where the point is headed
too little, too selfish, too late
for even upon the apiphany
it's not enough to stop me
I figure I'm in too deep
so why not press the point
until it's made
until the shame i carry
is frostbitten by the frigid fingers
of my ( Read more... )

it finally happened. rock bottom.

i neglected to grow the fuck up and it finally caught up.

it causes me so much pain to know i broke my mom's heart. and i deserve every bit of pain and suffering coming in the next few weeks ot come.

im so screwed. im a dumbass, a screw up, a liar, and a loser. awesome. ill be dying now. god dammit.

12 hours and counting... till i have someone to hang out with. just my luck. all my fucking roommates left yesterday. im all by myself in my apartment. dammit.

( Read more... )

"If you can't beat 'em, beat it."

i fucking hate programmed responses. especially when the meaning is lost to me.

i cant understand why i feel the way i do.

i am a chameleon, for intents and purposes. this is all so fucking rediculous. ive lost sight of reality. everything has betrayed me.

my eyes are now indefinitely open to consume the world.

"strum this broken harp
we were struck by the chords
set from their hearts
this is forever"

man i just cant win. my head is so clouded right now.

i dont know what the hell im doin.

i think i just thought of something... hmmm, interesting. heh heh heh.