The Perfect Weapon Ending 1 Chapter 1004: Part 2 section 1 of 5
Ending 1 Chapter 1004 Part 2 section 1 of 5
Sydney let out a peel of laughter and shook her head. “Dad, you are a bad man,” she giggled. “It’s one of the qualities I love best about you.” Then she stopped laughing at the shocked look on her father’s face.
“What did you say?” Jack asked carefully. Had he heard wrong? Was the sun beating down, making all the vehicles around them turn into an endless stream of white glare, like a pointillist painting of white on grey, making him hallucinate, hear what he wanted to hear? On this, of all days? Was this karma? Was he finally going to get what he wanted, needed in recompense for what he had lost so long ago?
“I said, that you were a bad man - I mean how you were teasing Vaughn, setting him up - and that was one thing I loved about you?”
“Is that a question or a statement of fact?” Jack asked, swallowing hard. “Why don’t I have anything to drink up here?” he asked absently, looking around for a bottle of water, anything when Sydney swallowed too and did not answer.
Sydney stared at her father. Why was he startled by that teasing comment? Was it the fact that she was teasing him? Was it the comment itself - that she loved him? Or that she loved the fact that he was a ‘bad man’? And why had he allowed his face to show his surprise? Lord knew, Jack Bristow could hide his emotions better than anyone she knew, so...why would he allow her to see that? Was this a cue she was supposed to pick up? She grimaced, hearing his voice in her head, ‘Don’t dangle your prepositions.’ Or had it just been a natural response, like those others she had seen lately? Was he becoming, in some ways, the man he had been before. Obviously different, no one could go through all that and not change, but...
“You know, Dad, as I’m getting my memories back, I’m remembering how different you were before. And one thing I remember is you and your friend, Dave. You used to tease each other all time, didn’t you?”
“Sure,” Jack said, smiling, wondering where this was going. “I used to tease him about how he was-“
“Shorter. You used to tease him about the fact that he was shorter. Why was that? If I remember correctly, he was just a little shorter than you.”
Jack cleared his throat, “It’s a guy thing, sweetheart.”
Sydney sighed. “You know, Susan said that’s one way men show affection, is how they rag on each other.”
“Oh?”
“So that must mean you like Vaughn. And Weiss?”
Jack shrugged, and looked straight ahead. Who cared about Vaughn and Weiss, that gruesome twosome that had each other, he groused to himself. Then Sydney took a few deep breaths, put her hand on his arm and said, “I feel....like I’m getting you back, Dad. The father I knew.”
“Oh! I...I feel...” Jack said with a slight grimace at his words. Then taking a breath himself, he said quickly, “I feel like I’ve found myself again, too. Only...I missed so much. And I need to learn about you all over again.”
“I’m not going anywhere,” Sydney said, still holding on to her father.
“Me either,” he responded, looking at her fully. She squeezed his arm again and he gave her a little smile, before turning back to face the road.
She sat back, closed her eyes, rubbed her temples, remembering that moment in the cell - that cell that must have made his soul want to scream for escape, but in which he had stayed until the job was complete, she thought. He had stayed there and stroked Irina’s hair to calm her, when, when, he had probably, she thought, opening her eyes with a snap, needed someone to stroke his hair and calm him. No wonder he was speeding. She opened her eyes as the car went around a curve a little too quickly for comfort.
“Dad....Geez! At this rate you are going to go to hell in a Buick. Slow down. And why do you drive a Buick anyway? That’s a fud car.”
“Fud?” Jack asked, raising an eyebrow.
“Fuddy duddy,” Sydney answered, deciding that this idiotic conversation was better than...
“Fuddy duddy?” Jack asked, glancing over at Sydney, raising an eyebrow. “Who says that?”
Sydney shrugged, “Well, who drives a Buick?”
“What should I drive? A Ford Focus? Puh-leeze,” Jack drawled, making Sydney laugh. “That car has no power. Barbie’s remote control VW bug has more power than that piece of tin you drive. And sometimes you need some acceleration for a getaway or a good solid body in case you get rammed.”
“I can see you now, walking into a car dealership. ‘Why, yes, Mr. Car Salesman. I need a car that can evade foreign operatives, handle multiple gun shots and the possibility of being driven off the road while en route to a drop off a human heart ripped out of a man’s chest in Panama-“
“I wasn’t driving when that happened,” Jack pointed out, poking his finger in Sydney’s direction.
“I know that! Dad.... Why are you driving so fast? Aren’t you afraid of getting pulled over?”
“No. And if I can’t talk my way out of a traffic ticket, then-“ he shrugged.
“Dad, do you know every cop in the state of-“ Sydney asked suspiciously.
“Sydney, I am far too busy for that. Doing surveillance on U.S. senators to whom my daughter foolishly lies...” He smiled when Sydney stuck her tongue out at him. “Or making arrangements for Tattoo You to make house calls, watching hockey games with her boyfriend while we bond-“
“You mean you torment him,” Sydney corrected, laughing.
“Ah, yes. I am a busy man with that hobby of mine,” he concluded, looking in his rear view mirror.
“Are you trying to beat Vaughn back to the Agency?” Sydney asked, feeling her heart race, as she realized that she needed to tell her father something that should have been so obvious, but...sometimes you needed to say the words.
“Do you think I would be so juvenile as to engage in a race with your little boyfriend?” And would Vaughn think that he could actually win?
“Well, Vaughn already lost, didn’t he?” Sydney asked, with a smile. “He has to ride all the way back with Kendall.”
“Yeah. A doubleplay. I get to ride with you and he has to ride with Kendall.”
“Kendall, what was that comment about Jack’s dissertation? I didn’t know he had a PhD. Sydney’s never mentioned it, even while she was working on her degree,” Vaughn commented. Didn’t Sydney know about Jack’s PhD? Was it just Syd’s usual obliviousness and ingnorance about Jack? Or was there some big secret? “What was it about, anyway?” Knowing Jack, it probably had to do with numbers or something else equally dry.
“Um. Yeah. Well, it’s not very interesting, just game theory,” Kendall said, praying for a reprieve. If Vaughn found out and Jack found out that Vaughn found out because of something he had said or done...It would be Sylvester time at the Op Center. For the rest of his life. Do not get on Jack Bristow’s bad side, do not get on Jack Bristow’s bad side.... Think, think.
Vaughn commented, “Game theory? But wouldn’t he have to do theory and research? What was his research on, I mean on what topic was his research?” he corrected himself automatically. Then winced. Geez, Jack wasn’t even in the car and he was hearing, “Don’t dangle your prepositions.”
Great, you idiot, Kendall told himself. Should he tell Jack tonight that he had mentioned the dissertation to Vaughn? That he hadn’t spilled the beans, but that.... Yeah, tell him while they are sharing a drink and the next thing you know you’ll wake up three days later in....Taipei next to Derevko’s big red ball of ebola or ... Or dressed as a woman waking up...where? Oh, stop it, he told himself. If you could imagine the twists and turns of Jack Bristow’s mind in revenge mode, you’d be a sick man and seeing Barnett yourself. So...Quickly, misdirect, misdirect....Oh, this should do it. “So, Vaughn.... when are you going to propose to Sydney, anyway? I hear Jack wants grandchildren. And I bet you want a little girl or two so you can have an excuse to play Barbies?”
“Dad.. Maybe later today, we can...play miniature golf or something?” Sydney asked hesitantly.
“I...Well, I have something I need to do. Something with which I was hoping you could help me, like you did -“ Jack began, equally hesitantly.
“Dad!” She blurted out, the words pulled from her, “Slow down. I know why you’re speeding. So slow down. You’re not driving to hell, you’re driving away from hell. That place was hell for you and you want to get away from that prison, put as much distance as possible....”
“You’re right,” Jack said slowly and let up a little on the accelerator. How had she ascertained that? Was she starting to grow up a little, he wondered, hoping....
“I...” Sydney took a deep breath. “I want to thank you for making sure that she would be close to LA, even though it meant you had to go back there today, be in a cell there. I realize now that it was a sacrifice for you. That you would have rathered she be---”
“Rathered? Is that a word?”
“Dad....stop obfuscating and tell me the truth. You would have wished she were in some other prison.”
“Yes. Maine. Florida. Alaska? Yes. But it wasn’t the same cell,” he told her. And himself. Again. “I was in solitary and she is not.”
“But no one else was around. Wait, did you arrange that so there would be privacy for today?” Sydney asked. Jack nodded. “That was kind of you, Dad. That you can be kind to her, even after everything. And picking her up when she almost fell, stroking her hair - That was sweet of you.” Jack grimaced. “I saw that on the monitors before Vaughn and I came upstairs. You have compassion. A big heart. That’s...another quality I love about you, that you can show kindness and compassion,” Sydney said carefully.
“Are we...making a list?” Jack asked carefully, letting a deep breath escape him. She had said he had a big heart. She had a big heart, he thought, to forgive him for his failures like that.
“Maybe,” Sydney said with a shy smile in her father’s direction. He patted her hand and she squeezed it.
“But...thank you for that, for being so generous with her when you could have been the opposite and no one would have blamed you.”
“I would have blamed myself. It costs me nothing to be generous to her. For your sake. For the sake of the woman she once was. And being cruel would cost me something. My own sense of self worth.”
Sydney nodded slowly. She still did not quite understand what had happened. How, why....How her father could have been so compassionate with Derevko and yet...had withdrawn from his daughter for so many years? He loved her, she knew that. Knew he had always loved her. As she was remembering the past piece by piece, her past, that withdrawal made less and less sense. Something was not adding up. Something was wrong. Something...was missing. Some puzzle piece...Something was unclear in this picture, what was it? She decided to keep talking. “I appreciate that you convinced or paid off the warden or whoever about the teaching idea.”
Jack shrugged. “It was a good idea, sweetheart. She did seem to love teaching. It will give her something to do, something to think about, focus on, so she doesn’t succumb to despair or boredom and hopefully, keep her from obsessing about the game---” beep, beep. Jack flipped open his phone, rolling his eyes. “We’re keeping Nokia in business today, aren’t we?”
“Jack, this is Judy. I’m just checking on your progress. How close are you to---”
“I think,” Jack interrupted, feeling a sudden sense of caution at the tone of Judy’s voice. “That Sydney and I can work this out on our own.”
“Yeah. Right,” Judy said sarcastically. Sydney didn’t have the key to the puzzle or the ability to find it and Jack would evade giving it to her. He would eventually, but he might as well do it today and just... “Get over it, Jack. Just get here and let’s---”
Sydney continued talking to her father, trying to get some reaction out of him. And why was he talking to Barnett anyway, when he should be talking to her? “Dad! Listen to me. I was thinking that I might give her those books you gave her, even though....”
“What?” Jack asked, turning to look at Sydney. “Excuse me, Judy. Sydney, I was talking to....Wait.” He ground his teeth. Try talking to two women at once and all you ended up with was two angry women. “What did you say? I mean, Sydney. You. What did you say? Give her those books? Do not do that,” Jack warned.
“Jack...” Judy warned.
“Why not?” Sydney asked, glaring at her father. “You just said my idea of having her teach was a good idea, so---”
“Take my word for it, it’s a bad idea! I’ll buy you new books to give to her. I have enough money left over from that jewelry, just don’t give her those books,” Jack said swiftly. “Judy, I need to--”
“Jack! Listen to me...explain to her why,” Judy said urgently. “She won’t see the reason. Don’t just....”
“Oh. Oh. Good point. Thanks. Listen, Sydney, if you give her those books, you’ll have to cut out the pages with my inscriptions to her in them. Or else....” Jack trailed off, then began again. Did he have to explain everything?
“Yes. To Sydney you do, Jack. Her brain doesn’t work like yours does,” Judy said quickly and he realized that he had spoken aloud. As if, he sighed, the glare Sydney was giving him would not have told him the same thing. He was so screwed.
Jack sighed. “Sydney, if she sees the inscriptions, she’d view it as another step in the game she does not want to believe is over. Remember? Do you see what the problem is? Think about it for a minute.”
“Okay!” Sydney groused. Biting her lip, she finally said, “So if I give her the book with the inscriptions she’ll think it’s a message from you that the game isn’t really over. BUT....” Sydney nodded. “I got it. If I cut out the inscriptions, then, she’d know they were missing and she would either get depressed or convince herself that their very absence meant that you knew she might have a reaction to them and therefore you must care and....Damn it.”
“Yes. It’s a no win situation and that’s why I said....” Jack stopped, sighed. Talk about a no win situation.... If he let her go ahead with that idiotic plan, they would all pay. But if he stopped her, he was infuriatingly---
“Do you always have to be right? A step ahead? Do you have any idea how annoying that is, Dad?”
“I am hardly right all the time. Lord knows, I’ve made so many mistakes....” Jack began, then stopped, not truly knowing where to begin.
“Jack! Save it for when you get to my office,” Judy said urgently. If he tried to explain, he was going to avoid the most painful truth of all unless she forced him to confront the truth.
“I....”
“Jack...let me explain to you in words of one syllable. You will come in and see me as soon as you can or else I will find a way to make you...sad,” Judy said, heaving a sigh of relief when she finished, knowing that if she had used polysyllabic words he would have immediately---
“Wow, I am so impressed,” Jack said in that snotty tone that made her want to just...throw another pencil at him. Then grit her teeth as he continued, “You actually did say all of that in words of one syllable. It’s amazing what a little focus can do for one’s----”
“Jonathan Donahue Bristow. “ She could not win sometimes with him.
“Sydney,” Jack said with that happy tone in his voice, that he was....Was he teasing? Judy wondered with a smile. This was good, better than she had anticipated in the aftermath of that visit. “I want to give you one of the secrets of male-female interactions. I’m breaking the male code of honor---”
Both Sydney and Judy snorted. In stereo, he thought, wincing. “Fine. Here it is. Be careful about using Vaughn’s full name when you’re aggravated. It signals that you have lost control of the conversation.”
“Huh?” Sydney asked.
“Judy said my full name. Which means that Judy, here, who has controlled our every conversation-“
“This is NOT true, Jack,” Judy interrupted, “You were impossible sometimes--”
“And you know what, Judy? I don’t really even have to work at that.” He sighed melodramatically. “It’s just a gift.”
Okay, Judy thought, a pencil was going to fly through the air very soon. “Jack....”
“Judy has lost control of this conversation. It must be driving you crazy, isn’t it, Judy? I mean, when I think of all the time and effort you expended finding new ways to reach me and control our conversations in the-“
“Jack....”
“Uh-oh, are you going to throw a pencil at me again?”
She broke into a smile. “We’ll see. But...Jack, I’m glad to hear that you seem calm enough to be obnoxious. I know you said you were fine, but I couldn’t help but worry a little.”
“No. I am fine,” Jack said. “But...I assume that’s one of the quote unquote issues you want to talk about when we get there.”
“One of them. See you soon?” Judy pressed.
“You wouldn’t let me get out of it. You’d just send Susan or her lackey, Vaughn, after me, wouldn’t you? And he might make me eat one of those wimpy cheese puffs of his. Or talk about Barbies...So, I’ll be there,” Jack said and flipped the phone closed.
“Since when do you call Dr. Barnett, ‘Judy?’” Sydney asked, as he turned his attention back to the road before them.
“Don’t you?” Jack asked, absently as he took an exit ramp. Way too fast, Sydney thought.
“Noooo.” Sydney closed her eyes as her father merged into traffic. Carefully opening one eye, she commented, “She’s awfully formal to call by her first name. And she’s never suggested it. So, why you?”
“I don’t know. It just seemed to happen. We’re the same age, after all. And if you had been my therapist - well, this might startle you, but I was not the easiest patient-“
“NO! Don’t ever say. I’m in shock. Someone resuscitate me. Jack Bristow a difficult patient?” Sydney scoffed.
“Very amusing,” Jack said sarcastically.
“I mean, it probably took her a year to figure out when you were lying to her-“
“Nah,” Jack said. The word itself drew Sydney’s attention. ‘Nah?’ Then his next words made her sit up straight. “Judy figured out when I was lying in less than one session.”
“What? One session. That’s interesting.” Sydney wasn’t sure just how it was interesting, but it was. She’d known him her entire life and had trouble ascertaining when he was lying or telling the truth. Why had Dr. Barnett been able to see through him so quickly? She’d have to talk to Vaughn. Or Susan, maybe.
“She’s a very fine therapist,” Jack commented. “Brilliant, obviously, to break through to me and my hard shell.”
Sydney shook her head, “But you had to have wanted to-“
“Yes. It was time. Finally.” They didn’t need to go down that road quite yet. Did they? He shook his head. “But even still, I don’t think I made her life easy. I can imagine that my therapist might be driven to-“
“Insanity? Insomnia? Heavy drinking? Talking to those plants of hers? Or-“ Sydney said, hoping her father would realize that it was her turn to tease. She sighed with relief when he interrupted.
“I get the picture, Sydney,” Jack said sourly, but the eyes he turned toward her as he took another exit ramp were smiling.
“But, hey, I bet she’ll get a paper for a psych conference out of us, our family, don’t you think?” Sydney suggested as they started down a city street.
“No doubt. Between you and me-“ Jack said.
“And Vaughn, too, don’t forget.”
Jack rolled his eyes. “He’ll be a member of this family when he puts a ring on your finger.”
“Daddy!” Sydney exclaimed, then laughed. “Don’t say anything to him.”
“I wouldn’t dream of it,” Jack said dryly.
“I’m thinking Jack is expecting to see a major rock on that girl...,” Kendall sighed and began again, “ I mean, woman’s hand, sooner rather than later.”
“What about what Sydney expects?” Vaughn countered. He’d propose when he damn well felt like it, thank you very much.
“At this point, she might have lowered her expectations to just getting to visit your apartment, learn your middle name, and not finding your Barbies hiding under her bed.”
beep, beep
“I am seriously considering burying this phone---” Jack groused, making no move to pull it out of his pocket.
“I threw mine in the ocean once,” Sydney offered. “Or was it my beeper?”
“I buried my beeper in the back yard the night your mother and I conceived you,” Jack admitted with a grin. Then bit his lip. How the hell had that just popped out of his mouth?
beep, beep
“What?” Sydney asked in shock. He knew the night....How was that possible? Hadn’t she been a mistake?
“I was having this fight with my boss and I came home and geez, it was beeping, beeping, beeping and I just lost it. Took my shovel out of my--” Well, this should distract her. He hoped she didn’t ask anything more about that night than about the beeper. There was no torture yet devised that would get him to explain that she might have been conceived in the back seat of a car, on the kitchen table, the stairs or gasp, even in a bed. Definitely way too much information. As far as he was concerned, he was an only child, which meant his mother had had sex once, with her eyes closed and neither party had enjoyed it. And that was the only way anyone should ever think about their parents in that situation. Yuck.
“Trunk. That trunk of yours,” Sydney said desperately, looking straight ahead so she did not see that small wry smile on her father’s face. This was way too much information.
beep, beep
“Yeah. Took my shovel and dug a hole in the back yard and buried it. Then halfway across the backyard I could still hear it beeping and I---”
“Threw the shovel across the yard?”
“How did you know?”
beep, beep
“I know you...” She paused. “And Derevko mentioned your quick temper - remember in Kashmir, when she brought up Madagascar? I remember once myself. When I was little... I can see you... .throwing something through our kitchen window.”
Jack groaned. “I didn’t know you’d seen that. I’m sorry. I lost...control that time. You must have been scared when I tossed that toaster. I’m so sorry. I was such a....” Mess, he had been about to say and then bit it off.
beep, beep
“No, I don’t remember being scared. I mean, you would never hurt me. And...” Sydney closed her eyes, thinking how her father had just apologized, how he had apologized before for his failures, as he called them, as a father. How her mother had never apologized for anything. “And thank you, so much, for the apology. All of them. I appreciate them now more than ever. But you must have been upset to do that, throw the toaster? You are so controlled. What happened? Do you remember?”
“The toaster? It’s a long story and--- damn it,” he growled, looking down at the caller id, not wanting to answer the question. “Will Susan ever give up?”
“Susan? Get real,” Sydney laughed. “I heard how she dragged you out of the Op Center one day. That she actually touched you, inspiring fear and awe in those around her. The woman has no fear. She’s from the Bronx. Just answer it.”
“What the hell took you so long to answer your damn phone, Jack!” Susan snarled, drumming her nails on the desk. Judy had given her her first real assignment and---
“Don’t get your knickers into a twist, Susan,” Jack began, grateful for the interruption.
“Let’s not talk about my knickers. Let’s talk about the fact that if you don’t get your knickers in here-“
“Susan... how many cups of coffee have you had to drink?” Jack asked suspiciously.
“I don’t know. Six or seven. Who’s counting?” Susan asked. She’d need a veritable...boatload of caffeine after staying up most of the night tossing and turning. It wasn’t bad enough that Jack had conned her into approaching Sydney. Oh, no, that was not enough. Nope. Then she’d gone out with Sydney and Amina, who was a stitch, in a somewhat scary kinda way, to shop for Barbies. But Sydney had been such a brat, she’d seriously considered taking a pogo stick from aisle twelve and pogoing the girl’s head with it. Then Sydney had apologized and they’d gone to Sydney’s nondescript apartment, which should have been okay. All they were doing was dressing the dolls, right?
But oh no. Not with her big mouth. Susan had made a casual comment about the fact that there wasn’t too much personality in the apartment, since it was a rental. Feeling the freeze in the look Sydney had given her, she had somehow compounded the error by babbling that it made no difference since she and Vaughn probably spent all their time at his apartment, right? Who woulda thought the woman had never been to her boyfriend’s apartment? They had all stared at Sydney until Carrie had defused the situation by telling them all about Marshall’s room, the Star Wars posters and action figures lining the walls. And how away from the office, he referred to everyone by code names from Star Wars. How Jack was Yoda. That had made all four of them giggle. But then she’d gone home and tossed and turned, worrying about the Bristows visit to the throne room inhabited by the queen of denial.
“Oh great. What the world needs is you....high on caffeine. Great...” Jack groaned loudly, with a smile in Sydney’s direction.
“I am okay,” Susan snarled.
“You’re okay? I’m okay, too,” Jack said. “In case, you’re wondering.”
“I’m okay, you’re okay? Is this another psychobabble joke?”
“Susan....”
“Jack!” Judy said breathlessly, having grabbed the phone away from Susan. “Will you please get your-“
“Don’t swear. It’s so unprofessional, tsk, tsk,” Jack commented, still smiling.
“I was going to say butt,” Judy said lamely.
Jack snorted.
“I was. And besides, I am not your therapist, anymore, “Judy pointed out. “Only Sydney’s and- “
“And I’m curious,” Jack noted. “I’ve heard from others how formal you are with them and here I am, getting pencils thrown at me and-“
“Jack, what are you doing?” Judy asked slowly.
“I believe I am...” He trailed off. Was he teasing her again?
“Are you teasing me?” Judy asked.
“I....Maybe,” he admitted. What was going on today? First Kendall offering to buy him a beer. And now he was teasing Judy? A day of breaking and making connections, he supposed.
“Just come in, already,” Judy sighed.
“Well, actually, we’re just turning into the parking garage,” Jack noted, waiting for the inevitable explosion. Honestly, how could everyone be saying that the woman was so formal?
“You could have told me that!” Judy protested.
“What would be the fun in that?” Jack asked. “See ya.”
Sydney braced herself on the dashboard as her father turned the corner into his parking space a little too quickly for comfort. As they came to a surprisingly-smooth stop, she held her stomach. “Dad, either your driving made me a little car sick or I have a feeling in the pit of my stomach that this is going to blow chunks.
“Blow...chunks? I don’t believe I’ve ever heard that expression before. And I’m not sure I want to hear it again. But... Maybe I’m just out of the loop these days,” Jack commented as he put the car into park.
“You teach me some of those words you were swearing at Vaughn and I’ll keep you au courant on vulgar slang. Deal?”
“Deal. You need to work on your French accent, though. It’s execrable. Let’s get this over with,” Jack said, as he took off his sunglasses in the dimness of the parking garage.
“Dad, you just dangled a preposition,” Sydney said with a grin, as she tossed her sunglasses next to her father’s on the dashboard of the car.
“Fabulous. I’ve completed my self-actualization goal for today,” Jack said with a smirk as Sydney laughed aloud, the sound echoing in the garage. “Maybe we don’t need to go inside, then?” he asked hopefully.
“Oh, let’s just get it over with - and yes, I did dangle a preposition too!” Sydney noted as her father opened his mouth. “I mean, c’mon, it couldn’t be any worse than what we’ve already done this morning?”
“You’re right. Let’s bring this...whatever it is, to a close,” Jack said and slammed his car door.
“Kendall, will you stop with the Barbie business! And you know, Jack seems to know an awful lot about Barbies and no one is teasing him!” Vaughn protested.
“If you think I or anyone else has enough balls to tease Jack Bristow about Barbies, you need to have your head examined. You’re either brave or stupid. Then again, we’ve established that on previous occasions,” Kendall sneered.
“But still....” Vaughn began, desperate to get the conversation away from him.
“Vaughn, you will learn someday when you have a daughter of your own, that a good father will do anything for his little girl. Include playing with Barbies if that’s what she wants. I imagine that on occasion Jack sat on the floor of Sydney’s bedroom and played with her in that Dream House that Sydney mentioned before.”
“The mind reels,” Vaughn said, although lately...he could almost see a younger Jack, skating with Sydney, tossing her in the air.
Kendall continued, after thinking for a moment, “Of course, with the two of them, I also imagine that they rigged up Barbie jumping off of the roof and-“
“Um, I don’t think so. I think there was a roof incident in real life that made Jack sick with worry,” Vaughn offered.
“I shudder at the thought of--”
“Of what? What Sydney was like as a little girl? Of what it would take to make Jack sick with worry?”
“No, you idiot, Jack’s probably sick with worry every time Sydney’s in the field, although he hides it perfectly,” Kendall groused, then smiled.”I shudder at the thought of your future. Your and Sydney’s children. The grandchildren of Jack Bristow.... You have no hope, no hope whatsoever. No wonder you’re taking refuge in a child’s toy. I understand now. Don’t worry, I won’t file a request for additional services with Barnett. We all have our coping mechanisms. Like Jack..with his pencils.”
“Jack...” Judy said from her doorway. “What are you doing?”
“I’m just picking up a pencil, I have a sinking feeling, an instinct, that I’m going to need it,” Jack said, giving Susan a glance. She just shrugged. His eyes narrowed in a face that even he could tell felt stiff. Oddly stiff, even though this was merely the mask he had worn so often for so long. Why did it feel...ill-fitting today? And, more importantly, what did Judy have planned today? She always had some idea.... that brought truths to light. But....
“Come in for a moment, Jack. Sydney, I’ll be with you shortly. Talk with Susan for a bit,” Judy said, and waved Jack into her office.
“Are you okay, Sydney?” Susan asked, as the door closed behind Jack and Judy.
“I’m...okay. It was not as bad as I anticipated,” Sydney admitted.
“Oh? That’s great, I know you were stressing about it. But why is that, that it wasn’t so bad?” Susan asked casually, rearranging the pencils in her cup that Jack had tossed onto her desk in his great, endless pursuit to find the perfect pencil.
“Dad...Dad was great,” Sydney said with a sigh. “He told me, he put his hands on my shoulders and told me how much I meant to him. Right there in the cell, when we were supposed to be talking to Derevko. He just stopped everything and told me.” She put her arms around herself as she remembered.
“He’s a nice guy,” Susan said softly. “I’ve always thought so.”
“You have?”
“Yes. When I first met him, I knew nothing about his reputation. I thought...” Susan trailed off. Would Syd take the bait?
“What?” Sydney asked curiously, wondering how a stranger might see her father.
“I thought he was...interesting. He is an interesting conversationalist. Has great stories, funny stories, about every city in the world. He was helpful -- gave me helpful hints about living in LA, about combining work with being in graduate school, told me about you---” Hint, hint, Sydney, Susan thought. She should take it, after all, it was a hint about herself, wasn’t it?
“He did?”
“Oh, sure. Talks about you all the time. All the time. Told me all about your graduate program, what classes you had taken--”
“He knew that?” Sydney asked, surprised.
“Of course,” Susan nodded. Then raising an eyebrow, she dove in, “So, that’s the Jack Bristow I know. Whom do you know?”
“I know...more than one Jack Bristow. There’s the Jack Bristow in the field. Definitely someone against whom you don’t want to play. There’s the Jack Bristow I thought I knew for most of my life...who now seems somewhat unreal. Something like a...negative image of a photograph? There’s the Jack Bristow I began to know when I found out the truth about SD-6, who was a partially-developed photograph, in so many shades of grey.. And then there’s the Jack Bristow, my....Daddy that I’m starting to remember from the past, the photo in color, but faded, like those old color pictures get -- you know, the blurred edges, the light colors? And then there’s the man of today....that I feel is the man I first knew, but different of course. He would have to be, but....”
“You’re seeing him in color? Clear, sharp edges? You think?”
“I think. Today I saw the man he had been, the father...The man he could be? Wants to be? There, today, I saw him,” Sydney said softly, putting her hand out and playing with the pencils in the cup on Susan’s desk.
Susan stared at her cup and sighed. “So today. There today in that hell. You saw him. The real man was there.” She might as well join them, she decided and plucked a pencil out for herself. What was the thrill with these little instruments, anyway?
“What’s this about, Judy?” Jack asked, tapping a pencil against the palm of one hand. “Why did you need to see me alone first? Correct me if I’m wrong, but didn’t I graduate from therapy and-“
Judy said, looking at him carefully, “Jack, cut the crap. Drop that mask you began wearing no doubt the minute you and Sydney left your car and you decided that something was about to happen that you didn’t want, or didn’t want anyone to see the impact of that something upon you. Aren’t we beyond that?” Jack nodded slowly. “Good. I thought so too. Let me see the real you.”
He shook his head, looked down for a moment, then back up with that crooked grin. Lifting his eyes, he looked at her fully, as he held the pencil still in his hand for once.
“That’s it,” she nodded. “Now....Let me look at you, see....” She stepped back and looked at him. “Hmm. No suit today. Interesting choice. And not black. Blue jeans, Jack? For your trip to the cemetery this afternoon?”
“It is my day off, Judy.”
“What a day off,” she said wryly.
“No kidding. Not one I’ll repeat any time soon unless my next wife also turns out to be a KGB agent,” Jack quipped.
“Since the KGB no longer exists, that’s an unfounded fear, but...somehow, I think your luck will turn,” Judy said, smiling. “That is, if you believed in luck.”
“I believe that if God, he or she has a sense of humor,” Jack said, tapping that pencil. “Sometimes a sick one.”
“Well, then the two of you should have a lot in common.”
“What is this about?” Jack asked, as her eyes looked at his face so carefully.
“I’m just checking...to see how you are. The real you,” Judy said softly. “How you fared today on your own.”
“So, Jack was there for you?” Susan asked.
“Yes,” Sydney nodded.
“Are you going to be there for him?”
“For him? Now that we’re away from that prison, he doesn’t really need, I don’t think---” Sydney began, then stopped when Susan interrupted her. Sydney sighed. Were all New Yorkers this impatient? This opinionated?
“Do not make that mistake, of thinking that you know what someone else needs when you’ve never even asked them. And for the record, we all - not matter how strong we are - need love and support to change, become our best selves, don’t you think?” Susan asked.
“I...suppose.” Sydney shook her head. Leaning against Susan’s desk, she said, changing the subject, she thought, “Did you notice my father was wearing jeans?”
“Um. Yeah. You might say I no---”
“I was so surprised when I saw him this morning!” Sydney said with a smile. “And last night, he had on jeans too. Black ones, but...not a suit or--”
“A fatherly fashion dissection now?”
“Well, if you knew the last time I saw him in jeans...”
“Really? I saw him in jeans the time we went to the book store---” Susan began.
“You went with my father to the bookstore!” Sydney said, standing up straight.
“Get over it. The man hasn’t read a work of fiction in twenty years, he has a lot of catch up to play. I swear the last book he read was Love Story, which he---”
“Hated. Of course. Who doesn’t?” Sydney shrugged, feeling that at least she knew her father that well.
“Well, many readers find it to be incredibly romantic,” Susan began.
“I find it incredibly stupid. I mean, love means never having to say you’re sorry? Clearly, that was one book my mother read a few times too many,” Sydney said, shaking her head.
“Well, since I hear you are going to see her again, you can ask. Discuss books?” Susan suggested. “I belong to a book club. I could give you a list. Although...whether it’s suitable for former international terrorists, I don’t know. Then again, who knows what the people in my book group do in their spare time. For all I know they could be building bombs in their basement.”
“This is LA, not New York. They’re probably trying to invent the perfect sunscreen. But books...That’s one topic. A safe topic. Maybe. Are there any safe topics? I was hoping to ask her to tell me some stories about my childhood. Find some pieces to the puzzlebox of my memory.”
“Anything else?” Susan asked suddenly, glancing at her watch.
“Yes. I have some questions I want answered. Even though I know the answers...”
“Do you...have any questions for your father?”
“For my dad? Questions?”
“Well, is there anything about your past, for example, that doesn’t add up? Some...little detail that makes you wonder if there’s something missing?” Susan asked leadingly. Sydney frowned but said nothing.
Geez! Susan groaned to herself. How could this chick be Miss Super Spy? Or was she only blind about her own family? Talk about oblivious. Honestly, Susan thought, she’d like to whup this girl upside the head. She still had her stick ball stick at home. She could have her mom send it to her, sharpen the point and...just poke Sydney. Hard. Possibly in the eye. A new form of therapy. Poking with a stick. In the eye.
“Jack...” Judy began, “Let me have your hands. Drop the pencil.”
“Onto the floor?”
“Stop. Just drop it and give me your hands.”
He tossed the pencil onto the coffee table and extended his hands. She looked at them for a moment then took them in hers. “What....” Jack began. “What is it today?” he asked, tilting his head to the side to look at her.
“What do you mean?” Judy asked, smiling as she noted that his hands were evenly warm.
“Well, when it was all over with Derevko, Sydney and Vaughn came up in the elevator. And when the door opened, Sydney reached out her hand and took my left hand. And Vaughn reached out and took my right hand, shook it and then-“
“They both pulled you into the elevator? With them?”
“Well, they didn’t pull me. I stepped. But, yeah with them. And...It startled me,” Jack admitted. “I mean, people don’t....”
“Touch you casually like this?” Judy asked, squeezing his hands. “But if you...continue on the path you’ve started, they will. If you want them to do so.”
“Why are you touching my hands?” Jack asked suddenly.
“I want to see if they are warm or cold, steady or trembling,” Judy explained. “Standard method of diagnosing---”
“And the diagnosis?” Jack asked with a smile. “Doctor?”
“Warm and steady,” Judy noted with a smile of her own as she let his hands go. “A good sign. So...Tell me....”
“You tell me. How am I?” he inquired, thinking that her fingertips had been like ice. What was she planning? He looked at her carefully, deciding that must be the cause of his instincts for danger being on high alert. But, he sighed, as with most of her strategies, it would probably hurt for a second, then prove useful. What had she found now, more of Dave’s notes? He shrugged, decided to just...take his own advice to Laura. Just let go and let it happen. Judy had never led him wrong yet and if she did, it would be an honest error, not a malicious act. He trusted her, after all. And then he realized that she was not the only one he trusted. Sydney, Susan, most of his coworkers, even Vaughn. When had all this happened?
She sighed with relief when he finished his intense examination of her face and put his hands in his pockets again, in what she realized was a typical pose for him. At least when he was relaxed. And he was. Amazingly and just for now....
“You look relaxed. Much more relaxed than I expected.” Judy nodded.
“Why, because of Derevko?”
“No, actually. You had already-“
“Said my goodbyes inside my own heart?” Jack admitted, even if he was somewhat startled that the words had just come out so easily. What was happening today with his mouth? He reached over and picked up the pencil again. “But, yes. A while ago. So....What was it that worried you? On my behalf. And...Thank you for worrying, Judy.”
“That’s what friends are...Oh, the hell with it. That’s what friends are for. I was worried about you being in that former prison of yours,” Judy told him.
“You knew that? Of course, you knew that. Your mania for background research exceeds my own, I believe?” She shrugged as Jack watched her carefully. Ah, she had found something. What could it be, he wondered. Then asked merely, “Is that how Kendall knew?”
“No. I just gave him a hint. Did he ride up with you today?” Judy asked, smiling.
“Yeah, babbling like an idiot,” Jack said rolling his eyes. Looking down, he absently watched his hand tap that pencil against the other.
“He was nervous, you realize,” Judy said quietly, raising her eyebrows as she also watched that pencil tap.
“About what?” Jack asked, shrugging. “He’s known me for a while, so...And I don’t have any bone to pick with him. At the moment anyway. Tomorrow, who can say? So today....”
“He was probably nervous about extending himself, extending a tentative offer of friendship. That can be scary. As can taking the offer,”Judy pointed out.
“He...asked me out for a beer tonight,” Jack said, shaking his head, still a little perplexed.
“You’re going, aren’t you?” Judy pressed. Would he take the offer? Please....
“Yeah. So...what else do you see? You’re looking at me pretty intently.”
“It could be,” Judy said, with a smile of relief at his answer. Then in a teasing voice, she continued, “It could be just because you look nice in that blue sweater.”
“What?” Jack gaped at her. What had she just said? What was he supposed to say next?
“Here is where you say, ‘Why, thanks, Judy. Blue is my favorite color.’”
“How did you know that? And are you giving me lessons in social interactions?” Jack asked suspiciously.
“Sometimes shy people find that helpful,” Judy said, and bit her lip to keep from laughing as his eyes flared in annoyance. “Or, if it would be easier.....You could just tell me how you-“
“Feel. I could just tell you how I feel? What would be the fun in that?”
“Hmm. Good point. But...I see some confusion in your eyes,” Judy said thoughtfully. “What is that about?”
“Sydney. What she said in the car on the way home. I mean here.” Because, he realized with a sigh, as he looked out Judy’s office window, past her plants, into the sunshine outside, that for the first time in...almost forever, work was not his home. It was just where he did work. It was not him. This...perfect weapon had given him much more than a doubleplay or two.
“So,” Susan sighed. “Jack always wants a doubleplay. So, what’s the other reason you’re seeing Derevko?”
“Oh. I think, Dad agrees, that she needs some positive reinforcement to see that therapist Dad engaged for her,” Sydney explained.
“I think, if anyone asks my opinion and even if no one has, that it was... brave of your father to support your decision to see Derevko again.”
“Brave? In what way? He said...”
“Sydney....” Susan began slowly. Then spearing Sydney with a hard glance, she asked quickly, ”When you love someone, what do you fear most?”
“Losing them,” Sydney rapped out the answer in a heart beat.
“How were you able to answer so swiftly?”
“Because I know what it’s like to lose someone you love,” Sydney answered.
“Laura? When she died?” Susan asked, pressing, as Judy had told you had to with the Bristows.
“And...my father. When he withdrew from me. That was...hard,” Sydney said, wondering, wondering why, why.
“And.. Knowing your father now....Do you have any---”
“Questions? That’s what you were---” Well, she was wondering about that withdrawal, what really prompted it. It had to have been something more than...Was there something she did not know? Sydney asked herself.
“Can we get on with this now? So, Judy, are you done with your little check in?” Jack asked. “And I feel the necessity of disclosing that your hands were cold before. Not mine. What are you planning?”
“Just a moment. There’s something I need to do,” Judy said as she went behind her desk. Tossing his pencil onto the coffee table again, he stuck his hand in his front pockets again. Jack stood there in the middle of the room and waited, then looked away out the window.
“What the hell?!” he exclaimed as what felt like an entire army of pencils went flying past his head, to clatter around him on the floor. Looking down at the scattered pencils, plucking one from his chest out of the loose weave of his sweater where it had gotten stuck, he looked up at her in shock.
“I’ve been waiting to do that forever,” Judy said smugly. Then burst out laughing at the shocked look on his face. She exclaimed gleefully, “Gotcha!”
He felt something tense inside him break apart and he broke into laughter too. Judy came forward and they both bent over and picked up the pencils.
On the other side of the door, Sydney’s head jerked up when she heard the burst of laughter from behind the closed door. Turning her head toward Susan, she was surprised that Susan did not seem to notice.
Sydney hissed, “Did you hear that?”
“Hear what?”
“My dad...and I think, Dr. Barnett, laughing in there?”
“Oh, that?” Susan shrugged. “They laugh. I mean, I’ve heard them laugh before. It’s no big-“
“Who laughs during their therapy sessions? I don’t.”
“But... maybe Dr. Barnett had to use different techniques with Jack. To find a way to give him what he needs. Did you ever think about that?”
“Sydney, come in,” Dr. Barnett said from the doorway, schooling her features into her more usual neutrality, attempting to ignore Jack’s muttered, “You are such a fraud,” behind her. “I’m glad to see you here together. Sit down,” Judith Barnett said, and waved her forward so that for the first time the two Bristows were together into her office.
The door closed, Susan’s phone rang and as she answered it she muttered, “This is gonna be worse than the time I had all four of my impacted wisdom teeth pulled at the same time without benefit of anesthesia.”
“What, did you buy Dentist Barbie last night?” Vaughn asked then cursed. It was all Kendall’s fault, he’d droned on and on about those stinkin’ dolls and now he had it on the brain. And he hated those dolls. He had barely slept last night, what with worrying about Jack and Sydney today. Then waiting for Syd to fall asleep so that he could sneak those stinkin' staring dolls out from under the bed. He could practically feel their eyes on him, probably critiquing his butt he decided, lying there. Then flipping over onto his stomach, he quickly flipped back over, thinking he didn't need any critiques of his front side either. Sydney had mumbled, "Vaughn, the Barbies aren't going to hurt you, sweetie. Go to sleep."
“Well, Barbie never had to go through anything like this,” Susan griped.
“Yeah, she has a Happy Family, right?” Vaughn asked. “Not the Dolly Dysfunctional Barbie Family. Which would come with what? Doors to slam? Or Barbie has---”
“Actually, you dolt, that’s Midge in the Happy Family. Midge can get married, have sex and get pregnant. Not Barbie. Barbie can’t marry Ken.”
“Huh? Why not?” Why did I ask that question, he groaned to himself. Twisting in his seat, he kept an eye out for Kendall’s return with the two cups of coffee for which they had stopped. “Talk fast, if Kendall hears me talking about the Barbie universe again, he may have me committed.”
“Because if Barbie married Ken, then you wouldn’t have the fun anymore of him asking her out, going on dates, figuring out what to wear. I mean the fun is all before you settle down.”
“It is? Does it have to be that way?”
“The story always ends at the kiss, Vaughn. That’s when the happily ever after begins.”
“That is NOT true. Not in real life. Look at Jack and Laura. Irina, whatever. That’s where it all fell apart. For him.”
“Maybe he just needed to be kissing someone else,” Susan said, tapping the pencil.
“Susan, are YOU tapping a pencil?” Vaughn roared in her ear.
“Ooops. Sorry. Forgot about that little Pavlovian game Jack was running on you.”
“What? What was he doing? Was it...Operation Pencil Tap?”
“Hee. That’s good. Oh, nothing. Forget about it,” Susan said, smiling as she rolled the pencil back and forth on the desk. “Let’s get back to the important topic. Setting Jack up.”
“Yeah. It’s my turn, now,” Vaughn said firmly, telling himself that he could carry this game off. “The question is how long should we wait?”
“That’s critical. After all, what is it Jack always says?” Susan asked, as she shuffled file folders around her desk.
“‘The timing has to be precise,’” Vaughn quoted. “The guy could write a book with his little sayings. You know, ‘Every weakness is exploitable,’ ‘Who? Me?’ and ‘I have no idea as to what you are referring’-“
“True! So very true,” Susan said with a smile, as she neatly stacked her plain manila folders on her desk top. “So...when are you due in? Jack and Sydney got back here ages ago.”
“He was driving like....Jack on a mission. We’ll be back in about thirty minutes.”
“Okay. See ya later. That will give me enough time...” Susan said with a grin as she hung up slowly.
“Enough time for WHAT? Susan....” Vaughn called out, hearing a click in his ear.
“Hi, this is Susan from Dr. Barnett’s office. Doris, we met in the ladies’ room one day, do you remember? I’m the blonde with the big mouth... Yes, the New York accent. I remember you were telling us that procurement had sent you a box of bright pink file folders with flowers on them? And you didn’t know what to do with them? Because everyone here is so..intense and...bland. I know someone who would just adore them and you could get rid of the entire case...Yes. I’m serious.
"It’s Michael Vaughn. He works in the Joint Task Force section....Can you deliver them asap? Would he want the matching desk blotter? Oh, definitely! Yes, we should never judge the personal likes and dislikes of others, you are so correct. And he is a brave man to be willing to display unconventional behavior. Doris, thanks so much! I’ll owe you one.” Susan said brightly. Wow, she thought, so much had happened today and it wasn’t even lunch time yet. What else would this day bring?
TBC at Chapter 1004 Part 2 section 2 of 5