==> Rose: Be the organized one.
The Homestuck cast are kind of all over the place now, and I know big fandoms can get obnoxious, especially when people start assuming everyone is into it, or they should be! But we do still want to play with everyone even if they don't read Homestuck. So this is a guide for the canon-blind on the absolute basics of what Homestuck is and why the characters in camp do what they do, and how to interact with them! Hopefully it is helpful. I will present it in FAQ format.
What is with the "commands" in the subject line? Or how about those confusing second-person action tags?
Homestuck is presented in the format of a text-based adventure game, or something like RubyQuest, where the readers give commands to the characters and the author's narration is written as if in response to those commands. (That is not actually what happens in Homestuck anymore - the author makes up almost all the commands to make sure the story goes the way he has planned - but that's the style. Read more about that here.)
So, for example, you will have something like this early page!
The humorous and self-aware nature of the narration is a big part of the canon, so often players will emulate this in their comments. For example, if Rose is talking to someone who has just tripped and fallen running from the zombies I might have a comment like:
==> Rose: Offer the newcomer a hand.
[You do so. He still looks a little distressed though. It wasn’t even THAT kind of hand.]
Welcome to camp.
"You" in the comment is referring to Rose, and "he" is who she is talking to. However I probably wouldn't actually do that specifically because I try to cut down on confusing shenanigans like that in mundane circumstances, especially when interacting outside my cast. So that comment would probably actually look more like this:
[offers him a hand up]
Welcome to camp.
But you still might see comments in the first style if I think it's particularly funny or want to exposit on something in narration! And my castmates have their own standards.
Why do you have so many castmates?
Homestuck is focused around four thirteen-year-old human kids and twelve alien-equivalent-of-thirteen-year-old troll kids from another universe. The trolls actually aren't a big part of the story until act 5! (And the kids rock, so there, etc.) But that does make sixteen camper-aged main characters. However, they are all apped now, so unless someone drops or makes a compelling argument for the appability of a secondary character you won't see any more multicolored app rounds for a bit!
So yeah, what's with those colored fonts and weird typing quirks?
The kids (and trolls) in Homestuck are playing a computer game together! More or less. As of current canon, none of the kids have actually ever spoken to each other in person, and the trolls remain in another universe. Almost (but not entirely) all of their canon communication is done via the internet, in chatlog form! To help with characterization and distinguishing everyone, all the characters have their own distinct font color and way of typing. For the kids that is just a personal chat style; for the trolls, their font color represents their blood color (which is the basis for their caste system as well), and their typing quirks seem to be a societal thing that represents a spoken accent.
An overview:
putthebunnyin [ectoBiologist] is pretty relaxed. but he doesn’t capitalize things!
gamebreaker [tentacleTherapist] stands for none of this silliness, and capitalizes and punctuates perfectly. It makes her come across a little pretentious.
bethecoolkid [turntechGodhead] is too cool for capitalization or punctuation even apostrophes
roboslap [gardenGnostic] also doesn’t capitalize, and is very excitable!!! and fond of emoticons :o
maid0ftime [apocalypseArisen] speaks with a pr0n0unced h0ll0wness t0 her w0rds.
pchaaair [adiosToreador] uHH, sPEAKS IN A SORT OF, uHH, fALTERING MANNER,
appleberrybla2t [twinArmageddons] tend2 two 2peak wiith a biit of a lii2p.
threshprince [carcinoGeneticist] SPEAKS IN A MANNER THAT IS ALMOST EXCLUSIVELY ORNERY, ALL THE TIME. His text is grey because he is the sole troll who anonymizes his blood color.
meowverine [arsenicCatnip] :33 < precedes her sp33ch with the face of her guardian who is pawssibly the cutest and purrhaps the bestest kitty you have ever s33n!
hemoerotica [grimAuxilatrix] Tends To Enunciate Each Word She Speaks Very Clearly And Carefully
youmustlickit [gallowsCalibrator] SP34KS W1TH TH3 NUM3R4LS TH3 BL1ND PROPH3TS ONC3 US3D
alltheirons [arachnidsGrip] tends to use st8ments that are just a little 8it overdramaaaaaaaatic.
musclebeast_nut [centaursTesticle] precedes his statements with a bow and arrow, and D --> Takes e%ception to 100d language unbefitting of b100 b100ds
honktraband [terminallyCapricious] Is JuSt A lItTlE bIt WhImSiCaL.
babyjusthurtme [caligulasAquarium] speaks wwith a vvery wweird and sort of wwavvy soundin accent.
whatisglub [cuttlefishCuller] )(as a )(ard time not getting R-EALLY -EXCIT-ED ABOUT PRACTICALLY -EV-------ERYT)(ING!
You even use those in person? That's kind of obnoxious. And some of those aren't verbal accents.
Yeah, sorry, I realize interpreting some of these as accents is kind of absurd. 100% of the dialogue in canon is presented like that, though, even communication via a hands-free device that can't possibly be actually typed, even in-person conversations, rare as they are, and even for the kids. So I am of the opinion it's part of their "voices," certainly in the character-voice sense if not necessarily in the audible sense. Reading it doesn't feel the same without the formatting.
So how do I deal with it ICly?
In the majority of circumstances, you should be able to just assume the conversation is happening in person as usual and ignore the font color and quirks! That's even what the canon does the majority of the time. Unless you really want to comment on their accents or make a meta joke, don't feel like your character has to react to it at all in person.
How about when it’s actually typed?
Hopefully it should be clear when things are explicitly typed! Often in those scenarios characters will prepend all their lines with their two-letter chat handle abbreviation. (Not to be confused with Equius and Nepeta's quirks of beginning their lines with D --> and :33 < respectively, which they will do even in person.)
TT: I am typing this.
TT: It is typed.
I realize that is still kind of weird in the sort of amorphous LiveJournal-like format we imagine many typed posts taking place in, but if it helps you can imagine that Homestuck characters are connecting through a chat program that puts that in for them automatically? Online communication in camp is kind of ill-defined, so it can get confusing, and sometimes mistakes are made on our part too. If something is unclear always feel free to ask.
In typed posts you should definitely feel free to respond "oh my god you type like a tool!" That’s a canon reaction. :)
It's kind of obnoxious to read OOCly regardless.
Yeah, I know. Even ignoring the bizarre quirks, having things in a chat style (with font colors, lack of punctuation and emphatic line breaks) can feel jarring when juxtaposed with a normal comment style.
To that I can only say that I believe it really is the best representation of how they "talk," and that I got used to it fairly quickly?
I would personally prefer to not deal with it at all.
In that case I've made a universal opt-out post. Comment there and we'll all do our best to quit it with the weird font stuff while threading with you!
EDIT BONUS QUESTION: Wait, there's no R in the title?
Sometimes you feel like you are trapped in this room. Stuck, if you will, in a sense which possibly borders on the titular.
In conclusion, the canon is not all about obnoxious meta, in-jokes and trolling - the cast has a full span of interesting characters with personalities beyond that, and I hope we can form a lot of fun cross-canon CR!
If anyone has specific concerns or suggestions, feel free to contact me, and hopefully I’ll be able to help.
What is with the "commands" in the subject line? Or how about those confusing second-person action tags?
Homestuck is presented in the format of a text-based adventure game, or something like RubyQuest, where the readers give commands to the characters and the author's narration is written as if in response to those commands. (That is not actually what happens in Homestuck anymore - the author makes up almost all the commands to make sure the story goes the way he has planned - but that's the style. Read more about that here.)
So, for example, you will have something like this early page!
The humorous and self-aware nature of the narration is a big part of the canon, so often players will emulate this in their comments. For example, if Rose is talking to someone who has just tripped and fallen running from the zombies I might have a comment like:
==> Rose: Offer the newcomer a hand.
[You do so. He still looks a little distressed though. It wasn’t even THAT kind of hand.]
Welcome to camp.
"You" in the comment is referring to Rose, and "he" is who she is talking to. However I probably wouldn't actually do that specifically because I try to cut down on confusing shenanigans like that in mundane circumstances, especially when interacting outside my cast. So that comment would probably actually look more like this:
[offers him a hand up]
Welcome to camp.
But you still might see comments in the first style if I think it's particularly funny or want to exposit on something in narration! And my castmates have their own standards.
Why do you have so many castmates?
Homestuck is focused around four thirteen-year-old human kids and twelve alien-equivalent-of-thirteen-year-old troll kids from another universe. The trolls actually aren't a big part of the story until act 5! (And the kids rock, so there, etc.) But that does make sixteen camper-aged main characters. However, they are all apped now, so unless someone drops or makes a compelling argument for the appability of a secondary character you won't see any more multicolored app rounds for a bit!
So yeah, what's with those colored fonts and weird typing quirks?
The kids (and trolls) in Homestuck are playing a computer game together! More or less. As of current canon, none of the kids have actually ever spoken to each other in person, and the trolls remain in another universe. Almost (but not entirely) all of their canon communication is done via the internet, in chatlog form! To help with characterization and distinguishing everyone, all the characters have their own distinct font color and way of typing. For the kids that is just a personal chat style; for the trolls, their font color represents their blood color (which is the basis for their caste system as well), and their typing quirks seem to be a societal thing that represents a spoken accent.
An overview:
putthebunnyin [ectoBiologist] is pretty relaxed. but he doesn’t capitalize things!
gamebreaker [tentacleTherapist] stands for none of this silliness, and capitalizes and punctuates perfectly. It makes her come across a little pretentious.
bethecoolkid [turntechGodhead] is too cool for capitalization or punctuation even apostrophes
roboslap [gardenGnostic] also doesn’t capitalize, and is very excitable!!! and fond of emoticons :o
maid0ftime [apocalypseArisen] speaks with a pr0n0unced h0ll0wness t0 her w0rds.
pchaaair [adiosToreador] uHH, sPEAKS IN A SORT OF, uHH, fALTERING MANNER,
appleberrybla2t [twinArmageddons] tend2 two 2peak wiith a biit of a lii2p.
threshprince [carcinoGeneticist] SPEAKS IN A MANNER THAT IS ALMOST EXCLUSIVELY ORNERY, ALL THE TIME. His text is grey because he is the sole troll who anonymizes his blood color.
meowverine [arsenicCatnip] :33 < precedes her sp33ch with the face of her guardian who is pawssibly the cutest and purrhaps the bestest kitty you have ever s33n!
hemoerotica [grimAuxilatrix] Tends To Enunciate Each Word She Speaks Very Clearly And Carefully
youmustlickit [gallowsCalibrator] SP34KS W1TH TH3 NUM3R4LS TH3 BL1ND PROPH3TS ONC3 US3D
alltheirons [arachnidsGrip] tends to use st8ments that are just a little 8it overdramaaaaaaaatic.
musclebeast_nut [centaursTesticle] precedes his statements with a bow and arrow, and D --> Takes e%ception to 100d language unbefitting of b100 b100ds
honktraband [terminallyCapricious] Is JuSt A lItTlE bIt WhImSiCaL.
babyjusthurtme [caligulasAquarium] speaks wwith a vvery wweird and sort of wwavvy soundin accent.
whatisglub [cuttlefishCuller] )(as a )(ard time not getting R-EALLY -EXCIT-ED ABOUT PRACTICALLY -EV-------ERYT)(ING!
You even use those in person? That's kind of obnoxious. And some of those aren't verbal accents.
Yeah, sorry, I realize interpreting some of these as accents is kind of absurd. 100% of the dialogue in canon is presented like that, though, even communication via a hands-free device that can't possibly be actually typed, even in-person conversations, rare as they are, and even for the kids. So I am of the opinion it's part of their "voices," certainly in the character-voice sense if not necessarily in the audible sense. Reading it doesn't feel the same without the formatting.
So how do I deal with it ICly?
In the majority of circumstances, you should be able to just assume the conversation is happening in person as usual and ignore the font color and quirks! That's even what the canon does the majority of the time. Unless you really want to comment on their accents or make a meta joke, don't feel like your character has to react to it at all in person.
How about when it’s actually typed?
Hopefully it should be clear when things are explicitly typed! Often in those scenarios characters will prepend all their lines with their two-letter chat handle abbreviation. (Not to be confused with Equius and Nepeta's quirks of beginning their lines with D --> and :33 < respectively, which they will do even in person.)
TT: I am typing this.
TT: It is typed.
I realize that is still kind of weird in the sort of amorphous LiveJournal-like format we imagine many typed posts taking place in, but if it helps you can imagine that Homestuck characters are connecting through a chat program that puts that in for them automatically? Online communication in camp is kind of ill-defined, so it can get confusing, and sometimes mistakes are made on our part too. If something is unclear always feel free to ask.
In typed posts you should definitely feel free to respond "oh my god you type like a tool!" That’s a canon reaction. :)
It's kind of obnoxious to read OOCly regardless.
Yeah, I know. Even ignoring the bizarre quirks, having things in a chat style (with font colors, lack of punctuation and emphatic line breaks) can feel jarring when juxtaposed with a normal comment style.
To that I can only say that I believe it really is the best representation of how they "talk," and that I got used to it fairly quickly?
I would personally prefer to not deal with it at all.
In that case I've made a universal opt-out post. Comment there and we'll all do our best to quit it with the weird font stuff while threading with you!
EDIT BONUS QUESTION: Wait, there's no R in the title?
Sometimes you feel like you are trapped in this room. Stuck, if you will, in a sense which possibly borders on the titular.
In conclusion, the canon is not all about obnoxious meta, in-jokes and trolling - the cast has a full span of interesting characters with personalities beyond that, and I hope we can form a lot of fun cross-canon CR!
If anyone has specific concerns or suggestions, feel free to contact me, and hopefully I’ll be able to help.