(Untitled)

[verypointed]

[Tonight, old radios and laptops are suddenly playing a strange and unfamiliar theme song, before a voice crackles in and out of static]

Good evening and welcome to the special edition of Hero TV's Radio show! We're bringing this show to you live in the middle of Camp Fuck You Die, a wonderful little campsite in the middle of America. Thank

Comments

Kiryuu Zero

[airbrained]

I get to interview someone! Mr. Barnaby was kind enough to give me some cue cards to read, so let's get started.

"Say hello to Kiryuu Zero, age 18 and in another life, student of Cross Academy." Another life? How mysterious.

"Zero is your classic "blessed by suck" emo vampire, only there's a twist! This 'emopire' also happens to be the strongest vampire Hunter in his association and is dead set on ridding the world of all purebloods. At least he was... Clipped, cold and generally not a great conversationalist, Zero is perfect for tonight's event, wouldn't you say?" ...emopire?

Anyway, good evening Mr. Zero!

[bitingcynicism]

... Activities?

Ebi brought it back from her vacation. It's a fish.

[airbrained]

And how big is this fish? What do you feed it?

[bitingcynicism]

... Fish pellets. What else would I feed it?

It's a regular-sized goldfish.

[airbrained]

Regular size? You must be a wonderful owner, your pet is neither malnourished nor overweight! Good work.

Now eh...my face is a little red here.

When I was preparing for the interview earlier I asked them to bring in an emu for you, thinking that it might make you comfortable, but now I'm aware that you're only interested in emos.

So now we have an actual emu waiting for you outside, and to show you how sorry I am, I will let you have it anyway. It says here that his name is ah...

...well I don't really want to say what his name is.

[bitingcynicism]

I'm not interested in-Wait, you actually have an emu here? How did you even find it?

[airbrained]

[ gives the signal to bring it in ]

Yes, apparently there was someone raising emu a while back, so we brought one in for you. Since you're not interested in biting it, I suppose they'll just let you keep it.

It's name is...[mumbles]

[bitingcynicism]

I don't want a-What did you say?

[airbrained]

Ferdinand

[bitingcynicism]

... I'm not going to ask why you named it that. I'm just going to tell you to give it to him.

[airbrained]

That would be a bit difficult, because we had to sign the emu over in your name. So I suppose it's your responsibility for the time being.

But look on the bright side, at least you have two Ferdinands in your life! How fun!

[bitingcynicism]

I'm not calling it that.

[airbrained]

That might be difficult, because that's what it answers to. Although I suppose if you apply your superior care-taking skills that you use on your goldfish, you could probably make it respond to a new name.

It says here you have feelings about Salvatores, so maybe that will inspire you to come up with a new name.

[bitingcynicism]

WHAT?

[URGE TO SHOOT CUE CARDS RISING RISING]

[airbrained]

I-I'm just reading what it says on the card.

It says to discuss "feelings about Salvatores", so I figured that it was a friendship. I was not aware that the subject was taboo, much like your romantic feelings for Ferdinand.

[bitingcynicism]

THERE'S NO ROMANTIC FEELINGS!