(Untitled)

[verypointed]

[Tonight, old radios and laptops are suddenly playing a strange and unfamiliar theme song, before a voice crackles in and out of static]

Good evening and welcome to the special edition of Hero TV's Radio show! We're bringing this show to you live in the middle of Camp Fuck You Die, a wonderful little campsite in the middle of America. Thank

Comments

Kiryuu Zero

[airbrained]

I get to interview someone! Mr. Barnaby was kind enough to give me some cue cards to read, so let's get started.

"Say hello to Kiryuu Zero, age 18 and in another life, student of Cross Academy." Another life? How mysterious.

"Zero is your classic "blessed by suck" emo vampire, only there's a twist! This 'emopire' also happens to be the strongest vampire Hunter in his association and is dead set on ridding the world of all purebloods. At least he was... Clipped, cold and generally not a great conversationalist, Zero is perfect for tonight's event, wouldn't you say?" ...emopire?

Anyway, good evening Mr. Zero!

[airbrained]

Ah, I meant Ferdinand the person, not Ferdinand the emu! I understand you need time to get used to your new companion.

[bitingcynicism]

[I am going to sit here and feel stupid now.]

... right, I was talking about the emu.

[airbrained]

Well it seems you're a fairly private person, so we'll move away from your romantic feelings for Ferdinand (the person) and friendship with Salvatores.

So what happened last October?

[bitingcynicism]

I guess that question's actually useful.

Something increased the vampires' bloodlust and there were attacks. We're prepared for it this year.

[airbrained]

Excellent, what steps have you taken to prevent attacks? And did you attack someone as well?

[bitingcynicism]

Vampires know to expect it so most of them will contain themselves. As for the others, I'll take care of them.

[NOT ANSWERING YOUR QUESTION. :x]

[airbrained]

How ominous and reassuring.

It says here to discuss horses and hobbies. Are horses your hobby?

[bitingcynicism]

... I have one.

[airbrained]

And on that exciting note, I think it's time we end our informative discussion!

I will say that it has been very enlightening, and I'm sure I speak for everyone listening when I say we all might have learned something new about you. It was even beneficial to you yourself, you have a delightful new pet emu to look after!

Any parting words before we go? This would be a good chance to say something to Ferdinand, lots of people use this time to mention their loved ones.

[bitingcynicism]

I'm giving him the emu as a gift.

[airbrained]

Ah~ how very romantic!

On behalf of the musical vampire Mr. Zero, and myself, we appreciate your listenership! Thank you, and again thank you!

[bitingcynicism]

I'M NOT MUSICAL!

Re: Kiryuu Zero

[airbrained]

It must be difficult having to rely on a specific farm animal.

I have a question, and I apologize to Mr. Barnaby for going off of the cue cards, but if you bite an emu on the neck, does it turn into a vampire as well? Is that how that works?

Re: Kiryuu Zero

[bitingcynicism]

How the hell should I know? I don't bite emus!

Re: Kiryuu Zero

[airbrained]

So now that we've settled that you're an emo, what is the difference between being an emo and being an emu? They both sound very similar.