itp: classy as shit evenings

[bat_outof_hell]

[Today, if you go into the Mess Hall for dinner, you will find that a rather startling change has occurred. The lights have been dimmed a little bit, jazz is playing softly, and the tables are now decorated with white tablecloths and vases with flowers. Off to the side is a buffet table loaded with platters of every type of cheese imaginable. And,

Comments

[stillyouridol]

I thought your cannibal cheese would be around.

[runstowardsfire]

He is . . . *gestures over to where Horace is trying to turn himself into pickled cheese by imbibing wine*

[stillyouridol]

...How does that even work. [weary siiiiigh]

[runstowardsfire]

*Horace doesn't really care as he chugs away*

In some places, soaking a ripening cheese in wine is part of the process . . .

[stillyouridol]

I somehow doubt that this is what they had in mind. Will it actually get drunk?

[runstowardsfire]

Yes, probably. But it'll take a while.

[stillyouridol]

You've had experience?

[runstowardsfire]

Horace has been on serious binges before. And there was once when he got into the sheep liniment at home.

[stillyouridol]

. . .It sounds like Horace needs some help. What in the world is sheep liniment and what did it do?

[runstowardsfire]

. . . It's mostly alcohol. You can use it to strip paint, but Horace just went to sleep for a while.

[stillyouridol]

That might be nice, considering all the trouble it seems to get into.

[runstowardsfire]

Perhaps. He's not so keen on knocking people over while hungover.

[stillyouridol]

[heh...]

Clearly that's the solution, unless the drunken cheese antics are worse. It would be terrifying if he turned into a kissing monster as well.

[runstowardsfire]

He hasn't had a chance to meet so many people before--it's not so crowded at home.

[stillyouridol]

I'm surprised someone hasn't tried to eat him yet.

[runstowardsfire]

Most people here are already suspicious of the food--moving cheese would make most of them stop and think.