itp: classy as shit evenings

[bat_outof_hell]

[Today, if you go into the Mess Hall for dinner, you will find that a rather startling change has occurred. The lights have been dimmed a little bit, jazz is playing softly, and the tables are now decorated with white tablecloths and vases with flowers. Off to the side is a buffet table loaded with platters of every type of cheese imaginable. And,

Comments

[stillyouridol]

I thought your cannibal cheese would be around.

[stillyouridol]

I think you're giving them a lot of credit... How many people eat the cheese and bacon served on Tuesdays?

[runstowardsfire]

It's hard to make cheese out of people parts--cheese is actually more alive than zombies.

There was bacon today--that explained the smell . . .

[stillyouridol]

...It's disturbing that you know that.

[runstowardsfire]

Which one? That cheese is more alive or that there was a lingering smell of bacon hanging around?

[stillyouridol]

That it's hard to make cheese using people. I wondered if you were that kind of witch.

[runstowardsfire]

It's actually just sense. Cheese is fermented milk--humans are not anything like cheese.

And I am the kind of witch that measures the size of ovens to make sure that you can't actually fit a person inside.

[stillyouridol]

They add things to cheese all the time, though. All the different flavors.

...Witch police?

[runstowardsfire]

But they have to be careful with what they add--otherwise they could ruin the ripening process.

No . . . it was when an old lady was accused to being a witch and eating children. Her oven wasn't big enough for that.

[stillyouridol]

I wonder if this place is that concerned with the rules of cheese making...

Witch Good Samaritan Detective.

[runstowardsfire]

. . . I was eight at that time and she died in the winter.

[stillyouridol]

Everyone dies. What does that have to do with the story?

[runstowardsfire]

While I could figure things out, I couldn't help her.

[stillyouridol]

But she didn't die with people thinking she was a cannibal, right?

[runstowardsfire]

She did. I had to remind them that she wasn't.

[stillyouridol]

. . . Well either way, I'm sure she would appreciate it.