Surprise!

[daddyderpest]

[as the dorkiest vampire hunter approaches the library this fine evening, streamers suddenly fall from the sky and a sparkly banner unfurls proclaiming:

'CONGRATULATIONS KAIEN CROSS, OVER TWO CENTURIES OF LIFE AND STILL NOT A VAMPIRE!'

Come, interrupt his staring in horror]

Comments

[dasschlechtende]

[... I was trying to nap in the library, what's all this noise 8|

jiiii. sign]

.... that's not that old.

[daddyderpest]

No, not at all. I've had friends who were thousands of years old.

[dasschlechtende]

... well.

I'm like eight hundred. So. Almost a millennium. Rome's a cheating old bastard.

[daddyderpest]

That's still a very impressive age.

[dasschlechtende]

You get to be this old when you're as awesome as I am.

[daddyderpest]

Is that how it works?

[dasschlechtende]

Definitely. Also knowing how to keep your vital regions protected.

And beer. Beer is the answer to most ailments.

[daddyderpest]

Beer dulls the senses.

[dasschlechtende]

Yeah, yeah, sure. That's what all the health nuts say. It's always worked for me.

[daddyderpest]

Well, I just don't like that feeling of being out of control.

[dasschlechtende]

Building a higher tolerance usually helps.

So, what? It your birthday today?

[daddyderpest]

Not at all. Clearly this camp doesn't believe streamers and sparkles are only for birthdays.

[dasschlechtende]

...

Are you supposed to be dead? It does shit like that on the 25th of February for me sometimes.

[daddyderpest]

No, I'm very much alive. How strange for this place to celebrate a day of death.

1/2

[dasschlechtende]

I'M NOT DEAD!

[dasschlechtende]

But yeah, this place is kinda shitty like that.