(no subject)
... goddamnit, I have the Den-o opening stuck in my head now. Next batch, and have the last of the dups at the end of this one! Also, Gmail got a little funky with some of the formatting and has been homphgomphing special characters and whatnot. I fixed what I could!
Remember!
- Applicants, respond anonymously.
- If you're going to do the whole "ask me if I voted you out!" thing, please state who you voted out.
- No speculating about the identity of the applicants!
Now VOTE. Closeddd
Character: Kaiji Itou
Series: Gyakkyou Burai Kaiji (Ultimate Survivor Kaiji)
Character Age: 21 (as inferred from canon)
Canon: Kaiji is a series by Nobuyuki Fukumoto, and, like everything else he writes, it features gambling, grown men crying like little kids, great big noses, and people doing horrible things to each other -- sometimes for money but mostly for kicks. It all starts when the 'hero' (and I use the term loosely) finds himself saddled with an unreasonably large debt, and now he's got a lot of unwanted attention from a bunch of shady yakuza types who, like his fandom, seem to find his tears incredibly moe. What follows is a series of sadistic mob-sponsored 'games', the set-up of which may sound ridiculous, but where the stakes are very real: a rock-paper-scissors tournament where the losers (and their organs) end up on the black market; a race across a steel beam over a 20-story drop; a card game where the wager is not just money, but eyes, ears and fingers as well. This is the sort of shit Kaiji has to put up with.
In any other series, Kaiji would be an inept baddie or a lame side character who needs rescuing from his own chronic inability to catch a break, but here, he's the best we've got to work with. He displays an incredibly insightful intellect in times of crisis (and an appalling lack of common sense at all other times) and is, at heart, a good kid. Though he's apathetic, unmotivated and prone to self-pity, fits of rage, and some really pathetic speeches, underneath it all he still believes in things like trust, friendship, and scoring one for the underdog. You might expect that these traits would allow him to come through for his friends, save the day, and procure a heartwarming happy ending; but sadly, more often then not they just contribute to him getting screwed over. And over, and over, and over.
Note: One of the games Kaiji is 'invited' to play involves some rather unique cards, including this one.
Sample Post:
Psst! Hey, you! Yeah, you, with the bony back and the whole... skull... thing. That's right, come over here. I just wanna talk. Ah, yeah that -- that's close enough. Thanks. Um. Look, I just got here, and no one told me the rules of the game. What's going on? ...Hey, come on, just tell me. Please? You can tell me. Why won't you tell me? What's the matter with you? Cat got your -- oh. Oh. Oh, I'm... I'm so sorry. ...Shit, looks like you're missing more that just that, too. I, uh... I kinda know how that feels. Shit, did... did the people in charge do this to you? Is that what they play for here? Body parts? Wouldn't surprise me, honestly. I've seen it before. How fucking sad is that? Anyway, I know this has got to be some kind of game. Some sick, twisted game. I've looked around a bit, and I saw some kind of... settlement? Or something, up at the top of the hill. Have you been up there? Me, no, no way. No way I'm gonna show myself to those guys unless I have to. I mean, what if this is some kind of survival game, where we have to kill each other to win? Oh hey -- no, not me! I'd never do something like that! God, no. But some people... some people are just twisted.
You seem okay, though. You even look kinda familiar. Like, I think I've seen you somewhere before... Anyway, maybe we can help each other out? I bet you don't wanna play their stupid games either, or you wouldn't be down here, in the woods. Oh! I bet they can't see us down here! I mean, they must have cameras all around but... maybe down here, they can't see us! All right. All right, let's work with this, you and me. Even if you can't talk, we could still work together -- maybe we could find a way out of here! 'Cos I'm telling you, I'm sick and tired of these stupid games. Fuck 'em! Fuck all those bastards. They can't control us -- we just won't play. We'll put our heads together and find a way out of here. We'll do it. We'll do it! This could be our big moment! You and me and -- hey, I see you got... friends? Uh. Lots of friends. Uh. Hey, guys. Back -- back off a sec. No, hey, I mean it -- this is kinda uncomfortable for me and -- hey! No biting! What's the matter with you!? Just leave me alone!
...God damn it... fucking bastards! I was just trying to help! Just trying to help, and look what it got me. Damn it! Shit. That'll teach me. I really should know better by now. Everyone's scum. Everyone. Well, fine. Fuck 'em all. I'll just figure out a way outta here on my own. 'm better off that way anyway. Hey, maybe if I can get across this lake, I can find a way out. Doesn't look that big. I bet I can swim it. Just need to get past that... that... big... great big... wriggly...
...Fuck. I think I really hate this place.
Poll Vote!
Name: Takaya Sou
Series: Atsumare! Gakuen Tengoku
Character Age: 15
Canon: Takaya Sou's parents went out wishing on a star on the night he and his twin brother Sui were conceived - or rather, they went out wishing for an alien encounter. Nine months later, the twins were born with paranormal abilities. Sou, the younger of the twins, has the power of telekinesis as well as a mild psychic connection with his brother. He can move objects without touching them, create barriers and block psychic attacks.
Four months ago, something suddenly changed in the boys' lives. There was a car accident which left Sui injured, and a shocked Sou reverted to an extremely clingy, childish personality. He doesn't seem to care about anything or anybody except his smaller-sized big brother, and comes off to others as unapproachable, surly and extremely over-possessive. This doesn't make him all that popular in the paranormal activities club the twins joined at school - but it was Sou who decided to join first.
Curt, cold, and very easy to anger, Sou is not the type who makes a good first impression. He has an unpredictable side to him, though, and just like the gruff teacher whose praise means more than the one who's always kind, an unexpected word or two of appreciation coming from Sou makes a big impression on anybody who knows him.
Sample Post:
Another trip with the paranormal club; we're looking for a mythical American lake monster called "Marcy-chan" this time. Trip already sucks. I didn't even get to sit next to my brother on the bus, so I had to glare at the back of the head of the guy sitting next to him for the rest of the ride. Does that jerk even realize that I could just go "I'm squishing your head" and actually squish his head? With great power comes great responsibility, whatever. Like I care. Hey - did he just BREATHE on my brother?
Well, we're here now and I guess Sui was mad for some reason because he told me not to follow him. I can't understand why, though. It was purely coincidental that the luggage decided to fall out of the overhead rack onto the head of the guy whose extremely irritating music I could hear through his headphones. Seriously, if I had done it myself, I would have used a hard-sided suitcase instead of a duffel bag. I would think that would be totally obvious. Well, fine, be that way, I'll just head off by myself and be the first to find the stupid
Marcy thing.
What's that beyond the edge of the lake, something glowing? Nothing should glow in the woods unless there's a rave. Then again, maybe this is actually a field trip looking for a mothership to take us home. Come to think of it, if I let it take the rest of the people in the club, then I can have some peace and quiet for a change.
Hmm, that's odd, the glowing thing is some sort of barrier, but I don't remember making one. So basically it is existing only in order to make me irritated. It's like it wants me to destroy it. There are letters on it too, maybe some kind of ancient seal or a curse. Ugh. Guess it'd better be me who deals with it, since no matter what happens I know I can protect those other idiots. Wait, no, the writing isn't in any sort of weird script - I can read it, it's just in normal letters. "Tsun... tsun... tsun..."
What does that even mean?! That's the stupidest graffiti- ...Okay, whoever just made the "iyaaan" sound, come out of the woods and show me your face right now before I squish you like one of those stress-relieving alien toys.
You just did it again, didn't you? Just because I said "tsun tsun" out loud - I'm serious, it's not funny! Fine, I'll just smash every tree around this lake until I find where you're hiding-
Could it be - Marcy...chan? Behind me?
Hey!! Put me down right now!!! I'M TELLING MY BIG BROTHER ON YOU!
Poll Vote!
Character Name: Takaya Sui
Series: Atsumare! Gakuen Tengoku
Character Age: 15
Canon: Atsumare! Gakuen Tengoku takes the familiar high school setting and throws in a collection of students who all have the school paranormal Club in common. They range from the overenthusiastic members, to innocent bystanders, to those with little interest in the paranormal. Each one of them has an intricate (or sometimes really badly) hidden secret to keep, whether it is a vampiric nature, or coming from a long line of occult monks. At the heart of this mismatched group are the twins Takaya Sui and Sou. When the club members are not busy chasing UFOs, they're preoccupied with exposing the secret of the otherworldly twins, all for different reasons.
Sui is the older of the pair, a polite, mild mannered and pleasant boy who may be too jumpy for his own good. This easily flustered student has to put up with the club's persistent curiosity, and his twin's overprotective nature. His own protectiveness of his sibling comes at the expense of his peace of mind, as the put upon boy can get all too nervous when prompted. Sui reacts violently to any threat or sight of blood or injury, as they trigger his healing powers to the extreme. These incidents take a drastic toll on his physical well being and leaves him shell shocked, an after-effect of being in a serious car accident.
Sample App:
"Suspend your disbelief as you embark on a weekend of magic, mystery, and Tuesday surprises!", that's what the website said. It doesn't sound all that different from a trip to Disney World, but the location for this field trip is right up the alley of our club. I'm sure if there were any vampires around, they wouldn't show themselves on the spot, then again, where's the fun in that? I guess they're still at their coffin break. You may not be what the website promised, but to such an enthusiastic welcome prepared for students on a simple field trip is really heartwarming. I wonder about the club's influence sometimes, but it must be really something with an especially designated tour guide to show us around. The tentacle logo on your guide jacket is really unique, Mr. Tour Gorilla!
I appreciate all the help you're giving me in pointing out all the remarkable spots of this place and I have noticed the... tree. Can we stop looking at, um, ladies' undergarments now? It's really kind of you to offer to show me around, but do you really have to be this close to me? This place and you kind of smell, and the heat isn't helping with that. I know my cheeks must be just as warm, but can you please not poke at them? Pinching is not-- ouch... That wasn't really necessary, and what is a socute?
If you're intent on staying close to me at all times, perhaps you can help me with this little task I have to finish? We're competing to see who will take the best picture of the most unusual creature around. It was the other members' idea, but I guess it would be fun to try. I wouldn't say you were completely unusual what with your small community of equally purple furred creatures, and that's really a compliment! I didn't mean to imply that there was anything with the way you looked. In fact, I think you have kind features, and you're not glaring at me with with accusing eyes, like the miniature rainbow colored ponies we've passed a while ago. For some reason, I don't think they like me that much. Perhaps it won't be the best idea to take a picture of them, after all. They make me feel undeserving of their attention.
Moving away from pony vengeance, how about I show you how to turn the flash option on? Um, you just need to drop this one switch lower over here..
That certainly was not what I meant by "flash photography"! I-I don't care if it was about time you've done that, but you shouldn't have dropped your pants like that! My eyes...
Poll Vote!
Character: Kurenai Shinkurou
Series: Kure-nai (anime)
Character age: 16
Canon: Life is hard when you're in high school. You have to keep up with the latest teen idols, juggle a developing love triangle between yourself, your childhood friend, and your attractive upperclassman, keep your room clean (or at least from stinking), work an after-school job... Shinkurou fails at all these things, except for maybe that last one. You see, Shinkurou is a dispute mediator, and he takes his job seriously. Responsibilities include beating up stopping graffiti vandals, beating up foiling small-time thugs, beating up negotiating with local yakuza... and being the personal bodyguard of 7 year old Murasaki, who was willingly kidnapped from her oppressive and rich family. Kure-nai is about the laughs, tears, and hijinks Shinkurou and Murasaki share while depending on each other to survive and become stronger.
Shinkurou is a conservative, practical, and very frugal boy, but not a very thorough thinker. He likes to take on responsibility to prove his worth, only to magnificently fail because he just wasn't careful enough. He's very naive, believes that genuine effort can solve anything, and assumes that people are always telling the truth... even when dealing with criminals. Compliments completely butter him up, and it's very hard for him to say no, especially to women and children. He researches celebrities not because he's interested in them, but only so that he can pretend to know what his guy friends are talking about when they ask him, "Hey, would you tap that?" In short, Shinkurou is just a simple boy who wants to fit in, but he also wants to be a strong man who can take care of himself and his loved ones.
Sample Post:
My name is Kurenai Shinkurou. I'm a dispute mediator. Allow me to get straight down to business: I wish to speak with Director Elizabeth Sayre. It concerns this camp. I have a report documenting all the laws that are being broken here. It would be very inconvenient for her if someone were to, say, hand this over to the police. So, couldn't we work something out? I know Director Sayre has a reputation of being inaccessible, but it would be in everyone's best interests not to be stubborn. I like to keep things civil, please. Oh, and this isn't a bluff. Look, I really do have the report.
Whoa, it's pretty long... and there are pictures, too. You see? Apes dyed purple: animal cruelty. Water with enough rust to look like blood: unfit for bathing in, much less consumption. Radioactively glowing lake: ...wait a sec, seriously? Huh, it's not photoshopped. I can tell by the lack of pixels. This place is even worse than I thought. I don't think I need to say that this lake isn't even within global environmental standards. Just look at the size of this squid! I know it might look happy because it's throwing its tentacles up in the air, but it's probably waving in agony. Sometimes, isn't it hard to tell between tears of sadness and tears of happiness? The kindest thing to do would be to put it out of its misery. And then, the responsible thing to do would be to properly dispose of the body. And then, the economical thing to do would be to make a nice calamari dish, like the ones in those real fancy Italian restaurants. I-I've always wanted to eat in a fancy restaurant...! Because of all the pollution in the water, it's probably unsafe to eat, but don't worry. I'll sacrifice myself. I'm strong, so I have a strong stomach, too. I've discovered that the expiration date is just a suggestion.
Ah, but that's getting off topic! Next! A tree full of underwear: ...well, that's not breaking any laws, but it's still indecent! Wasn't toilet paper good enough? Not that you should TP trees in the first place. Listen! With all these photographs, you all are in huge trouble. I even have a picture of Director Sayre herself. She won't be able to escape what she deserves. I'll memorize her face and I won't stop searching until I find her, no matter what. I promise you, you have my word-- Ah!
Director Sayre is... pretty...? Wow, she really is very pretty. Somehow, it doesn't seem like a lady like her could do something bad on purpose. ...No, but think about this terrible camp. She's responsible. Just look at these showers built on top of this cabin: think of all the water damage! There's probably a lot of mildew growing on that cabin's ceiling and she doesn't even have any janitors hired right now. Really, here's the list, you can check for yourself. At least there are enough doctors and cooks though, and a lot of other counselors with nice, fun jobs... Maybe she just wanted the campers to learn how to clean up after themselves. It does save space. --Oh, it was probably cheaper to build it this way! That's right, a person like Miss Sayre couldn't make this place that horrible on purpose! I'm sure it's just a big misunderstanding.
I'm really glad we could work out our differences! But, the campers here still need help. Director Sayre won't mind if I contact humanitarian organizations about this place, right? Just let me call my boss and I'll tell her my job here is done for now...
--Ah, it seems like I'm not getting any service. Could you direct me to a pay phone, please? I'd really appreciate it.
Poll Vote!
Character name: Nekki Basara
Series: Macross 7
Age: 21
Canon: It's been 15 years since Linn Minmei stopped a war by bringing culture to the alien Zentradi. The year is 2045, and there is a new star on the horizon. Macross 7, one of the many city ships bound for the Galactic Core, had the bad luck of encountering an all-powerful race of aliens that intend to suck the life energy out of everyone they meet. Enter the band Fire Bomber and their lead singer Nekki Basara, set to kick some soul-sucking Protodeviln ass! . . . Wait. Instead of going out to fight them, he sings to them. . . in his Valkyrie, his giant robot customized to be piloted with a guitar.
Basara is a pacifist with little regard for his own life, who is trying to win over everyone (and everything) with the power of his song, his heart and his emotions. To say he's vocal about that goal is putting it lightly. Rude and sometimes quick to anger, Basara is definitely a prima donna. Under all that, though? He's not all that bad, he just tends to come off as an insensitive jerk about anything he can't relate to music. (To be fair, part of this is him being obsessed with people listening to his song, and him being rather oblivious in a lot of ways.) Despite that, whether he's happy or sad, he always gets geared up for his performances and makes the most of them. Basara x Music is his OTP, whether he's singing to the enemy, a crowd or just himself, alone in his apartment.
Sample Post:
It sounds strange to me, but it's for a good cause, isn't it? CFUD Live - a charity benefit for the Coalition of Falsetto Under Duress? Well, I can sing like a girl if that's what you want! . . . sing as a girl, if that's what you want? Hey, what kind of guy do you think I am? Don't even think about it! . . . All right, I didn't say I wouldn't! But only if you don't dress my Valkyrie up. I didn't bring it for a reason, you know. People always have weird ideas about us. Anyway! There are only two other things I noticed that have to be done before I can get all fired up, Elizabeth! The apes keep making weird hand motions, and yeah, I can play a guitar with one hand, but I don't know what they're getting at. My guitar is only for my song, and nothing else! The second thing is that all these tickets say "One way only," so it makes me wonder if you really even get it!
After all, Elizabeth, your request said you understood why I sang. That you brought me here not just for a concert, but because of your fiance. Your loving heart for him - would he want you to hold people here against their will, in his name? Nothing is ever going to be accomplished by keeping people locked up here until someone confesses! Do you even know if the killer is here? I know a better way, the only way to find out the truth. The truth inside everyone, but most importantly, the truth inside you, Elizabeth! Everyone else is getting fired up for this performance, and you and I should too. There's a charging heart of love waiting inside every one of us here tonight! Those ducklings have one too - they're already so hot you can see them burning. Burning up with the fire of love! So, Elizabeth - listen to my song!
The sound you make comes from the heart, whether you're old, young, old but supposed to be young; human, zombie, toucan or ape. The fact is that this music from inside is timeless, and its subtle beat should be enjoyed by everyone. Fire Bomber wants our music to be like that - a sound like the rustle of wind through the trees, or the splash of Marcy's tentacles in the lake water. A sound that leaves an imperceptible mark on a life, a song you'll never forget. Just like you'll never forget your time here!
In space. . . everyone can hear you sing, but tonight. . . tonight, instead of singing to the galaxy, you're the only audience I need, Elizabeth. Are you ready?! Let's Fire!
♬It just takes one song of Rock 'n Roll
To draw you into Marcy's warm embrace
Another morning comes and you
Start to wonder if the mess hall's okay,
It's Tuesday~♬
Yeah! I'm all fired up now! Let's keep going - I'll set this place on fire with the power of my song! Nekki Basara is definitely going to BOMB!
Poll Vote!
Character: Tetra
Series: The Legend of Zelda: Wind Waker
Character Age: Estimated 10-12
Canon: The Legend of Zelda: Wind Waker is yet another harrowing tale of a boy named Link and his epic quest to save Princess Zelda from the evil clutches of Ganon! Except this time he's not saving Zelda because his sister is the one who gets kidnapped. Apparently, Ganon must not care much about who he kidnaps so long as they're young, blonde, and have pointy ears. Worse still, the entire world is an ocean, which makes following after kidnapped sisters very hard -- unless you happen to have a boat. So, what's a boy to do after he sees his sister snatched up by Ganon's ginormous pet bird and having no boat to speak of? Why, ask the vicious pirate crew that just docked at his island for a ride. Tetra, the captain of the pirate crew, considers this for a split second, says "no," and then is quickly guilted into saying "yes." But, that still doesn't mean she's happy about it...
The most important thing to Tetra is profit. Her normal disposition is to be rather cold and sarcastic with people unless she thinks being cordial will be more beneficial. She'd love to rescue your daughter from the pig-infested doom fortress, sure, but you can bet your ass you'll be shelling out cash by the truck load for it. If you do manage to befriend her, be prepared because she will still let you know if she thinks you're doing something stupid. Despite her tough exterior, It should be noted that Tetra will occasionally do favors for others if she likes them enough, can be guilted into helping others out, and will put aside her pirating duties if the world needs saved. She's a softie, really, but that's not the kind of impression one wants to give when they're the fearless captain of a terrible pirate crew.
Sample Post:
...What? Oh, you have got to be kidding me. Let me see if I've got this right. My "loving" pirate crew has just sent me off to a "surprise vacation summer camp" located in the middle of a swamp -- by CATAPULT no less. And, not only did I plunge into a green lake upon landing, but I was then tossed back into the air by this giant tentacle thin- its name is Marcy? It has a name? You're telling me guys give pet names to the local horrible monsters? I swear, that's like me calling Ganon "Mr. Scruffles!" Do you dress up "Marcy" in pretty pink bows before feeding human sacrifices to it, too? I wouldn't be surprised if you did. This place has already seriously weirded me out, and I haven't even been here for more than half a day yet.
Speaking of weird, shouldn't there be some kind of standard as to who can and can't come to a summer camp? Seriously, the other residents here are absolute nut cases! While I was going around trying to figure out where I am, I was ridiculed for the way my eyes are shaped, got turned into a newt, and have been mistaken for a boy on no less than nine occasions! Honestly, it's like ninety percent of the population here doesn't know that the terms "young" and "female" can be in the same sentence. And, as if the insults weren't bad enough, I turn a corner and BAM! Suddenly, I'm attacked by a random band of ninjas. Granted, they won't be challenging me to "regain their honor" anytime soon, I made sure of that, but I swear it felt like the only reason they attacked me in the first place is because I'm a pirate, you know?
And now you, this fuzzy, white, bat-winged furball, you're telling me the only condolence you can offer me after all that crap I went though is the chance to save my progress? I don't even know what that means, let alone how it's supposed to be helpful at this point. No, I don't know what a "Start Menu" is, and I'm sure my "party members" don't want to be found right now...
...Well, whatever. Listen, you're cute, really, but sitting here trying to figure out how "saving" will help in case I "die" while I'm here is only making the headache I've already got worse. This "Camp Fuck You Die" place may be a giant pain in the butt and have "die" in its title, but there's no way I'm getting offed that quickly. It can't be that hard to stay alive in a swamp full of whiny teenage angst-buckets who miss their mommies. Now, if a super villain like, say, Ganon, were here, then we might have some problems, yeah. But seriously, what are the odds of finding a dark, malicious, inhumane swine in dump like this?
Poll Vote!
Character: Eliot Nightlay
Series: Pandora Hearts
Character Age: Somewhere around 15-16
Canon: Oz Vesalius isn't exactly the luckiest shouta in the world. For his coming-of-age ceremony, he's given a stab in the chest and a shove down into a deep, dark pit called the "Abyss"-- an otherworld where all childhood nightmares come to life. Unfortunately, his only ticket out of this dismal place is a contract with a psycho bunny-girl named Alice, which gets him back into the real world ten years into the future. With various mysterious organizations on his trail and a promise to recover Alice's lost memories, Oz sets out to find the truth behind the adverse turn of events in his life.
Eliot Nightlay is one of the less bizarre people Oz meets along the way...if you compare him to indignant cat-boys, sadistic younger brothers, and one-eyed candy-holics, that is. To be fair, there's nothing really wrong about him, unless you count his inexplicable tendency to get angry and talk in accentuated large, bold font and italics. This happens pretty much every time you hit on all his 'waargh' pings, which may vary from people abusing their power for the wrong things to people behaving like overtly self-righteous fools and cowards. As a nobleman, he's understandably proud of his bloodline and will never back down or run from his battles, but otherwise he lacks tact, is rude and is fairly insulting for someone of his upbringing. Despite all that, Eliot can be a nice and reliable person; it just depends on how you go about cajoling it out of him :)
Note: Eliot carries a rectangular case in which he's got books and his sword and other stuff~
Sample Post:
Haa? What are you, a moron?! How does walking in on your so-called beauty ritual make me the botox salesman you've been waiting for all week?! You're deluded if you think praying to a pile of frayed underwear can give you what you want! Look, I'm not in the mood for any of your asinine explanations about what this botox crap is or how it's going to make your "poor, wrinkled primate ass" look like "sparkly shoujo material"; I'm definitely not here to sell anything and if you make another grab at my case because "you need the confirmation~! ♥", you can be sure that this will be your last warning. I have no interest in dealing with anymore idiotic wildlife; especially not after running into a bunch of stupid birds cackling 'why so serious?' while they made inane jabs at my mouth with sticks.
So instead of wasting my time, why don't you tell me where I can find that piece of trash you call a Director? If that woman didn't use some kind of vapid magic trick to get me stuck on this fetid swampland, I wouldn't have to get involved in all this bullshit. These lowlifes are always the same, they think they can get away with everything just because they've got a name or title to back them up! Well, she's not going to get off easy this time, not when she's challenged me to a duel before dumping me in this place. If she's got the guts to make pathetic dares like these, then she'd better have the same guts to face me now instead of hiding in the shadows like a coward!
What, you don't agree with that? You actually think it's alright for someone to throw down a challenge and pretend it has nothing to do with her afterwards?! You've got to be kidding! Just because you're an ape doesn't mean you can do without pride, and since you're not as unintelligible as any other common primate, you should have more than a semblance of that quality in you! Anyone with dignity will not have a drop of cowardice in their blood; neither will they tremble like a moron or make a monkey out of themselves like what you're doing now. Do you really want to be afraid of some dictatorial woman all your life? So what if you say she's got a zombie army? What can a bunch of rotting undead do to you that you're not already doing to yourself? If you've still got any bit of self-worth left, you won't be leaving your fate to circumstance or giving in without a fight! And you surely won't be suggesting that I'd run away too if I saw the size of that army! Tch, I see how your Director gets her way with anything now; she obviously doesn't need to try very hard.
Well listen up, wimp! I don't care what kind of army this dirty Director of yours has got but if she thinks sending it after me will make me turn my back on an enemy, she's sorely mistaken. Let her come at me with whatever she wants for there is no coward where I am standing! We'll see if her army of walking corpses will be faster than this sword or if this sword will be faster than them. But from there she will definitely see no fear, only the conviction of my sword while I make known to her the name of the House of Nightlay!
Poll Vote!
Applicant #1
Character: Son Goku
Series: Saiyuki
Character Age: Over 500!! but physically about 19
Canon: The plot of Saiyuki can be easily summarized as follows. So a high priest, a half-demon, and a monkey hop into a human-turned-demon's Jeep (that's really a dragon) and head for India to try and stop another high priest's renegade plot to combine science in magic in an unholy union that will surely destroy humanity as we know it (as well as the sanctity of marriage).
The monkey in the middle of this group, there's definitely more to Son Goku than meets the eye. He's really the 500 years old host to an earth-born demi-god whose power level is very easily over 9000, despite the fact that he acts very much like the teenage boy he appears to be, wanting nothing more than food, food, and-you guessed it-more food. Though it seems like Goku eats before thinking, his immaturity and naivety bely a firm resolve and intense determination. Goku is more than willing to stand for what he believes in and come to the aid of his friends, even though he may not fully understand the situation this puts him in, provided, of course, he's not working on an empty stomach.
Sample Post:
Ahh man, why can't anyone ever pick a cool place t'run off to! First th' desert an' now this. It's lucky I found you t'show me around, Mr. Gguruugh, I woulda been toast back there without you. So I gotta say thanks for all th'-agh, hey! Just cuz I said I was toast's no reason t'chew on me! I meant like th' dead kind of toast, not th' kind with butter an' jam an' preserves an' . . . what were we talkin' about again? I guess it's not important. But still, I really appreciate you takin' the time t'help me out! It's been hard enough findin' food t'eat here, not t'mention findin' Sanzo!
You'd think with a forest like th' one here, you could eat some fruit from the trees but once I found a tree that looked like it had fruit on it, some guy kept on yellin' at me for takin' it! If you didn't want anyone t'eat it, then why're you puttin' up signs callin' it "Fruit of the Loom" anyways? Someone's sure got his panties in a bunch.
But lucky for me when I runnin' away from his place, I ran into this great big yellow hippo! First I thought he was gonna steal some of my fruit, but it turns out he was havin' an eatin' contest with some of his hippo friends, an' they said I could compete too! They had sooo much food there! Heh, they may've been callin' themselves hungry hungry hippos but they were no match for me! When it comes t'eatin' no hippo's gonna stop the almighty Son Goku!
So of course I won th' competition, but th' best part of it was that th' hippos told me that as a reward for winnin' I got t'have their special onsen inna barrel all to myself! There's nothin' better than a nice soak after a great big meal. Plus th' bath smelled really tasty. There was all sorts of herbs an' spices an' some carrots an' potatoes an' tomatoes . . . it was more like a stew than a bath. So they didn't really have a reason t'be angry at me when I wound up eatin' it all! An' just cuz I ate their stew was no reason t'dump me out in the lake! Don't those dumb hippos know you're supposed t'wait 45 minute after eatin' before you swim?
But once I got outta th' lake-an' had some really good octopus too!-was about where I found you! So about how long's it gonna be until we get t'where Sanzo's at? Oh, we're there? Man . . . I never woulda thought he'd be stayin' in a great big brick inn like this one. There's so many rooms here it's gonna be hard to find hi-oh! Hey! Mr. Turtle you work here right? Have you seen a guy who's-what? Hey! You stupid turtle, whaddya mean "Your Sanzo is in another castle?!"
Applicant #2
Name: Son Goku
Series: Gensomaden Saiyuki
Age: Appears 18; is actually 518 years old
Canon: When the peace of Shangri-La is destroyed by the "Minus Wave", a forbidden mixture of science demon magic, it's up to Genjou Sanzo and his ragtag group of three demon companions to travel to the West and return things to the way they were. . . . if they can stop fighting long enough to get going. One of these companions is Son Goku. Despite his actual age he is physically and mentally younger than the rest of the group, which means he gets conned into most of the dirty work, with any complaints met with the smack of Sanzo's paper fan.
Constantly hungry, Goku's love of food is as big as his love for fighting. His philosophy is "I fight only for myself", but that doesn't mean he isn't more than willing to fight with and for his friends, either. And while he may sometimes fit the "stupid monkey" nickname he's been given, he's one of the most loyal guys in the group, sticking by everyone and knocking sense into them when they need it. But watch out; if you remove the headband that he wears you'll unleash Goku's true form, known as Seiten Taisei; a berserker unable to distinguish between friend or enemy.
Sample Post:
Ahhh, how do I always get stuck carrying everyone's crap?! If it wasn't for all this junk I wouldn't have fallen behind, and I wouldn't have gotten lost, and I wouldn't have had to worry about some furry guy wanting to wear my headband because he wanted to look pretty and witty and -- GAH! He even called it a crown! What the hell?! Geez, I hope I don't run into him again. Who knows what he'll grab for next!
But now . . . I'm stuck in a swamp that smells really bad. This sucks so hard. Not only is there the whole "I'm lost in the middle of a stinky place" thing, there's all these animals all over the place, too. And they keep . . . looking at me with these weird faces . . . it makes the hair on the back of my neck stand up.
. . . you know, I bet they're hungry. That's why they look like that! Wow, those birds growling over there are making the same noise as my stomach. Wait, do birds growl? Eh, whatever. Yeah, you heard me! Stop growling, you're just gonna remind me of how hungry I am! DON'T GROWL LOUDER! Stupid birds, I'll eat you if I have to! Don't think I don't know how to hunt! I'll catch you and roast you over a fire to prove it if I have to! Mmmm . . . fried chicken. Too bad there isn't anything else around I could eat chicken with. I thought I saw some plants that might taste good while back, but there was all this salty white gunk on 'em. I like salt on my food, but that stuff tasted nasty.
Ugh, I don't care if I'm in the middle of nowhere, there's gotta be some place to eat in this stupid swamp! It doesn't really look like there would be, but looks can be deceiving, right? Maybe there's a village! I don't have any money, but . . . I'm really hungry! And you know what they say about a guy who's desperate for food.
-- dammit, you again?! I told you the headband was off limits, man! Don't make me -- what? Yeah, I said I'm really hungry but -- whoa whoa WAIT t-that isn't what I meant! I know a perverted kappa who MIGHT do something like that if he got desperate, but I won't lower myself that far just for some food! I'd rather go hungry!
. . . you've got dumplings? And they're fresh? Hey, hold on! Are you even listening to what I'm saying? I'm not gonna -- . . . if I do that, you'll give me all I can eat? Really?
. . .
Alright, I'll be your pretty princess. But don't touch the crown!
Poll Vote!
Remember!
- Applicants, respond anonymously.
- If you're going to do the whole "ask me if I voted you out!" thing, please state who you voted out.
- No speculating about the identity of the applicants!
Now VOTE. Closeddd
Character: Kaiji Itou
Series: Gyakkyou Burai Kaiji (Ultimate Survivor Kaiji)
Character Age: 21 (as inferred from canon)
Canon: Kaiji is a series by Nobuyuki Fukumoto, and, like everything else he writes, it features gambling, grown men crying like little kids, great big noses, and people doing horrible things to each other -- sometimes for money but mostly for kicks. It all starts when the 'hero' (and I use the term loosely) finds himself saddled with an unreasonably large debt, and now he's got a lot of unwanted attention from a bunch of shady yakuza types who, like his fandom, seem to find his tears incredibly moe. What follows is a series of sadistic mob-sponsored 'games', the set-up of which may sound ridiculous, but where the stakes are very real: a rock-paper-scissors tournament where the losers (and their organs) end up on the black market; a race across a steel beam over a 20-story drop; a card game where the wager is not just money, but eyes, ears and fingers as well. This is the sort of shit Kaiji has to put up with.
In any other series, Kaiji would be an inept baddie or a lame side character who needs rescuing from his own chronic inability to catch a break, but here, he's the best we've got to work with. He displays an incredibly insightful intellect in times of crisis (and an appalling lack of common sense at all other times) and is, at heart, a good kid. Though he's apathetic, unmotivated and prone to self-pity, fits of rage, and some really pathetic speeches, underneath it all he still believes in things like trust, friendship, and scoring one for the underdog. You might expect that these traits would allow him to come through for his friends, save the day, and procure a heartwarming happy ending; but sadly, more often then not they just contribute to him getting screwed over. And over, and over, and over.
Note: One of the games Kaiji is 'invited' to play involves some rather unique cards, including this one.
Sample Post:
Psst! Hey, you! Yeah, you, with the bony back and the whole... skull... thing. That's right, come over here. I just wanna talk. Ah, yeah that -- that's close enough. Thanks. Um. Look, I just got here, and no one told me the rules of the game. What's going on? ...Hey, come on, just tell me. Please? You can tell me. Why won't you tell me? What's the matter with you? Cat got your -- oh. Oh. Oh, I'm... I'm so sorry. ...Shit, looks like you're missing more that just that, too. I, uh... I kinda know how that feels. Shit, did... did the people in charge do this to you? Is that what they play for here? Body parts? Wouldn't surprise me, honestly. I've seen it before. How fucking sad is that? Anyway, I know this has got to be some kind of game. Some sick, twisted game. I've looked around a bit, and I saw some kind of... settlement? Or something, up at the top of the hill. Have you been up there? Me, no, no way. No way I'm gonna show myself to those guys unless I have to. I mean, what if this is some kind of survival game, where we have to kill each other to win? Oh hey -- no, not me! I'd never do something like that! God, no. But some people... some people are just twisted.
You seem okay, though. You even look kinda familiar. Like, I think I've seen you somewhere before... Anyway, maybe we can help each other out? I bet you don't wanna play their stupid games either, or you wouldn't be down here, in the woods. Oh! I bet they can't see us down here! I mean, they must have cameras all around but... maybe down here, they can't see us! All right. All right, let's work with this, you and me. Even if you can't talk, we could still work together -- maybe we could find a way out of here! 'Cos I'm telling you, I'm sick and tired of these stupid games. Fuck 'em! Fuck all those bastards. They can't control us -- we just won't play. We'll put our heads together and find a way out of here. We'll do it. We'll do it! This could be our big moment! You and me and -- hey, I see you got... friends? Uh. Lots of friends. Uh. Hey, guys. Back -- back off a sec. No, hey, I mean it -- this is kinda uncomfortable for me and -- hey! No biting! What's the matter with you!? Just leave me alone!
...God damn it... fucking bastards! I was just trying to help! Just trying to help, and look what it got me. Damn it! Shit. That'll teach me. I really should know better by now. Everyone's scum. Everyone. Well, fine. Fuck 'em all. I'll just figure out a way outta here on my own. 'm better off that way anyway. Hey, maybe if I can get across this lake, I can find a way out. Doesn't look that big. I bet I can swim it. Just need to get past that... that... big... great big... wriggly...
...Fuck. I think I really hate this place.
Poll Vote!
Name: Takaya Sou
Series: Atsumare! Gakuen Tengoku
Character Age: 15
Canon: Takaya Sou's parents went out wishing on a star on the night he and his twin brother Sui were conceived - or rather, they went out wishing for an alien encounter. Nine months later, the twins were born with paranormal abilities. Sou, the younger of the twins, has the power of telekinesis as well as a mild psychic connection with his brother. He can move objects without touching them, create barriers and block psychic attacks.
Four months ago, something suddenly changed in the boys' lives. There was a car accident which left Sui injured, and a shocked Sou reverted to an extremely clingy, childish personality. He doesn't seem to care about anything or anybody except his smaller-sized big brother, and comes off to others as unapproachable, surly and extremely over-possessive. This doesn't make him all that popular in the paranormal activities club the twins joined at school - but it was Sou who decided to join first.
Curt, cold, and very easy to anger, Sou is not the type who makes a good first impression. He has an unpredictable side to him, though, and just like the gruff teacher whose praise means more than the one who's always kind, an unexpected word or two of appreciation coming from Sou makes a big impression on anybody who knows him.
Sample Post:
Another trip with the paranormal club; we're looking for a mythical American lake monster called "Marcy-chan" this time. Trip already sucks. I didn't even get to sit next to my brother on the bus, so I had to glare at the back of the head of the guy sitting next to him for the rest of the ride. Does that jerk even realize that I could just go "I'm squishing your head" and actually squish his head? With great power comes great responsibility, whatever. Like I care. Hey - did he just BREATHE on my brother?
Well, we're here now and I guess Sui was mad for some reason because he told me not to follow him. I can't understand why, though. It was purely coincidental that the luggage decided to fall out of the overhead rack onto the head of the guy whose extremely irritating music I could hear through his headphones. Seriously, if I had done it myself, I would have used a hard-sided suitcase instead of a duffel bag. I would think that would be totally obvious. Well, fine, be that way, I'll just head off by myself and be the first to find the stupid
Marcy thing.
What's that beyond the edge of the lake, something glowing? Nothing should glow in the woods unless there's a rave. Then again, maybe this is actually a field trip looking for a mothership to take us home. Come to think of it, if I let it take the rest of the people in the club, then I can have some peace and quiet for a change.
Hmm, that's odd, the glowing thing is some sort of barrier, but I don't remember making one. So basically it is existing only in order to make me irritated. It's like it wants me to destroy it. There are letters on it too, maybe some kind of ancient seal or a curse. Ugh. Guess it'd better be me who deals with it, since no matter what happens I know I can protect those other idiots. Wait, no, the writing isn't in any sort of weird script - I can read it, it's just in normal letters. "Tsun... tsun... tsun..."
What does that even mean?! That's the stupidest graffiti- ...Okay, whoever just made the "iyaaan" sound, come out of the woods and show me your face right now before I squish you like one of those stress-relieving alien toys.
You just did it again, didn't you? Just because I said "tsun tsun" out loud - I'm serious, it's not funny! Fine, I'll just smash every tree around this lake until I find where you're hiding-
Could it be - Marcy...chan? Behind me?
Hey!! Put me down right now!!! I'M TELLING MY BIG BROTHER ON YOU!
Poll Vote!
Character Name: Takaya Sui
Series: Atsumare! Gakuen Tengoku
Character Age: 15
Canon: Atsumare! Gakuen Tengoku takes the familiar high school setting and throws in a collection of students who all have the school paranormal Club in common. They range from the overenthusiastic members, to innocent bystanders, to those with little interest in the paranormal. Each one of them has an intricate (or sometimes really badly) hidden secret to keep, whether it is a vampiric nature, or coming from a long line of occult monks. At the heart of this mismatched group are the twins Takaya Sui and Sou. When the club members are not busy chasing UFOs, they're preoccupied with exposing the secret of the otherworldly twins, all for different reasons.
Sui is the older of the pair, a polite, mild mannered and pleasant boy who may be too jumpy for his own good. This easily flustered student has to put up with the club's persistent curiosity, and his twin's overprotective nature. His own protectiveness of his sibling comes at the expense of his peace of mind, as the put upon boy can get all too nervous when prompted. Sui reacts violently to any threat or sight of blood or injury, as they trigger his healing powers to the extreme. These incidents take a drastic toll on his physical well being and leaves him shell shocked, an after-effect of being in a serious car accident.
Sample App:
"Suspend your disbelief as you embark on a weekend of magic, mystery, and Tuesday surprises!", that's what the website said. It doesn't sound all that different from a trip to Disney World, but the location for this field trip is right up the alley of our club. I'm sure if there were any vampires around, they wouldn't show themselves on the spot, then again, where's the fun in that? I guess they're still at their coffin break. You may not be what the website promised, but to such an enthusiastic welcome prepared for students on a simple field trip is really heartwarming. I wonder about the club's influence sometimes, but it must be really something with an especially designated tour guide to show us around. The tentacle logo on your guide jacket is really unique, Mr. Tour Gorilla!
I appreciate all the help you're giving me in pointing out all the remarkable spots of this place and I have noticed the... tree. Can we stop looking at, um, ladies' undergarments now? It's really kind of you to offer to show me around, but do you really have to be this close to me? This place and you kind of smell, and the heat isn't helping with that. I know my cheeks must be just as warm, but can you please not poke at them? Pinching is not-- ouch... That wasn't really necessary, and what is a socute?
If you're intent on staying close to me at all times, perhaps you can help me with this little task I have to finish? We're competing to see who will take the best picture of the most unusual creature around. It was the other members' idea, but I guess it would be fun to try. I wouldn't say you were completely unusual what with your small community of equally purple furred creatures, and that's really a compliment! I didn't mean to imply that there was anything with the way you looked. In fact, I think you have kind features, and you're not glaring at me with with accusing eyes, like the miniature rainbow colored ponies we've passed a while ago. For some reason, I don't think they like me that much. Perhaps it won't be the best idea to take a picture of them, after all. They make me feel undeserving of their attention.
Moving away from pony vengeance, how about I show you how to turn the flash option on? Um, you just need to drop this one switch lower over here..
That certainly was not what I meant by "flash photography"! I-I don't care if it was about time you've done that, but you shouldn't have dropped your pants like that! My eyes...
Poll Vote!
Character: Kurenai Shinkurou
Series: Kure-nai (anime)
Character age: 16
Canon: Life is hard when you're in high school. You have to keep up with the latest teen idols, juggle a developing love triangle between yourself, your childhood friend, and your attractive upperclassman, keep your room clean (or at least from stinking), work an after-school job... Shinkurou fails at all these things, except for maybe that last one. You see, Shinkurou is a dispute mediator, and he takes his job seriously. Responsibilities include beating up stopping graffiti vandals, beating up foiling small-time thugs, beating up negotiating with local yakuza... and being the personal bodyguard of 7 year old Murasaki, who was willingly kidnapped from her oppressive and rich family. Kure-nai is about the laughs, tears, and hijinks Shinkurou and Murasaki share while depending on each other to survive and become stronger.
Shinkurou is a conservative, practical, and very frugal boy, but not a very thorough thinker. He likes to take on responsibility to prove his worth, only to magnificently fail because he just wasn't careful enough. He's very naive, believes that genuine effort can solve anything, and assumes that people are always telling the truth... even when dealing with criminals. Compliments completely butter him up, and it's very hard for him to say no, especially to women and children. He researches celebrities not because he's interested in them, but only so that he can pretend to know what his guy friends are talking about when they ask him, "Hey, would you tap that?" In short, Shinkurou is just a simple boy who wants to fit in, but he also wants to be a strong man who can take care of himself and his loved ones.
Sample Post:
My name is Kurenai Shinkurou. I'm a dispute mediator. Allow me to get straight down to business: I wish to speak with Director Elizabeth Sayre. It concerns this camp. I have a report documenting all the laws that are being broken here. It would be very inconvenient for her if someone were to, say, hand this over to the police. So, couldn't we work something out? I know Director Sayre has a reputation of being inaccessible, but it would be in everyone's best interests not to be stubborn. I like to keep things civil, please. Oh, and this isn't a bluff. Look, I really do have the report.
Whoa, it's pretty long... and there are pictures, too. You see? Apes dyed purple: animal cruelty. Water with enough rust to look like blood: unfit for bathing in, much less consumption. Radioactively glowing lake: ...wait a sec, seriously? Huh, it's not photoshopped. I can tell by the lack of pixels. This place is even worse than I thought. I don't think I need to say that this lake isn't even within global environmental standards. Just look at the size of this squid! I know it might look happy because it's throwing its tentacles up in the air, but it's probably waving in agony. Sometimes, isn't it hard to tell between tears of sadness and tears of happiness? The kindest thing to do would be to put it out of its misery. And then, the responsible thing to do would be to properly dispose of the body. And then, the economical thing to do would be to make a nice calamari dish, like the ones in those real fancy Italian restaurants. I-I've always wanted to eat in a fancy restaurant...! Because of all the pollution in the water, it's probably unsafe to eat, but don't worry. I'll sacrifice myself. I'm strong, so I have a strong stomach, too. I've discovered that the expiration date is just a suggestion.
Ah, but that's getting off topic! Next! A tree full of underwear: ...well, that's not breaking any laws, but it's still indecent! Wasn't toilet paper good enough? Not that you should TP trees in the first place. Listen! With all these photographs, you all are in huge trouble. I even have a picture of Director Sayre herself. She won't be able to escape what she deserves. I'll memorize her face and I won't stop searching until I find her, no matter what. I promise you, you have my word-- Ah!
Director Sayre is... pretty...? Wow, she really is very pretty. Somehow, it doesn't seem like a lady like her could do something bad on purpose. ...No, but think about this terrible camp. She's responsible. Just look at these showers built on top of this cabin: think of all the water damage! There's probably a lot of mildew growing on that cabin's ceiling and she doesn't even have any janitors hired right now. Really, here's the list, you can check for yourself. At least there are enough doctors and cooks though, and a lot of other counselors with nice, fun jobs... Maybe she just wanted the campers to learn how to clean up after themselves. It does save space. --Oh, it was probably cheaper to build it this way! That's right, a person like Miss Sayre couldn't make this place that horrible on purpose! I'm sure it's just a big misunderstanding.
I'm really glad we could work out our differences! But, the campers here still need help. Director Sayre won't mind if I contact humanitarian organizations about this place, right? Just let me call my boss and I'll tell her my job here is done for now...
--Ah, it seems like I'm not getting any service. Could you direct me to a pay phone, please? I'd really appreciate it.
Poll Vote!
Character name: Nekki Basara
Series: Macross 7
Age: 21
Canon: It's been 15 years since Linn Minmei stopped a war by bringing culture to the alien Zentradi. The year is 2045, and there is a new star on the horizon. Macross 7, one of the many city ships bound for the Galactic Core, had the bad luck of encountering an all-powerful race of aliens that intend to suck the life energy out of everyone they meet. Enter the band Fire Bomber and their lead singer Nekki Basara, set to kick some soul-sucking Protodeviln ass! . . . Wait. Instead of going out to fight them, he sings to them. . . in his Valkyrie, his giant robot customized to be piloted with a guitar.
Basara is a pacifist with little regard for his own life, who is trying to win over everyone (and everything) with the power of his song, his heart and his emotions. To say he's vocal about that goal is putting it lightly. Rude and sometimes quick to anger, Basara is definitely a prima donna. Under all that, though? He's not all that bad, he just tends to come off as an insensitive jerk about anything he can't relate to music. (To be fair, part of this is him being obsessed with people listening to his song, and him being rather oblivious in a lot of ways.) Despite that, whether he's happy or sad, he always gets geared up for his performances and makes the most of them. Basara x Music is his OTP, whether he's singing to the enemy, a crowd or just himself, alone in his apartment.
Sample Post:
It sounds strange to me, but it's for a good cause, isn't it? CFUD Live - a charity benefit for the Coalition of Falsetto Under Duress? Well, I can sing like a girl if that's what you want! . . . sing as a girl, if that's what you want? Hey, what kind of guy do you think I am? Don't even think about it! . . . All right, I didn't say I wouldn't! But only if you don't dress my Valkyrie up. I didn't bring it for a reason, you know. People always have weird ideas about us. Anyway! There are only two other things I noticed that have to be done before I can get all fired up, Elizabeth! The apes keep making weird hand motions, and yeah, I can play a guitar with one hand, but I don't know what they're getting at. My guitar is only for my song, and nothing else! The second thing is that all these tickets say "One way only," so it makes me wonder if you really even get it!
After all, Elizabeth, your request said you understood why I sang. That you brought me here not just for a concert, but because of your fiance. Your loving heart for him - would he want you to hold people here against their will, in his name? Nothing is ever going to be accomplished by keeping people locked up here until someone confesses! Do you even know if the killer is here? I know a better way, the only way to find out the truth. The truth inside everyone, but most importantly, the truth inside you, Elizabeth! Everyone else is getting fired up for this performance, and you and I should too. There's a charging heart of love waiting inside every one of us here tonight! Those ducklings have one too - they're already so hot you can see them burning. Burning up with the fire of love! So, Elizabeth - listen to my song!
The sound you make comes from the heart, whether you're old, young, old but supposed to be young; human, zombie, toucan or ape. The fact is that this music from inside is timeless, and its subtle beat should be enjoyed by everyone. Fire Bomber wants our music to be like that - a sound like the rustle of wind through the trees, or the splash of Marcy's tentacles in the lake water. A sound that leaves an imperceptible mark on a life, a song you'll never forget. Just like you'll never forget your time here!
In space. . . everyone can hear you sing, but tonight. . . tonight, instead of singing to the galaxy, you're the only audience I need, Elizabeth. Are you ready?! Let's Fire!
♬It just takes one song of Rock 'n Roll
To draw you into Marcy's warm embrace
Another morning comes and you
Start to wonder if the mess hall's okay,
It's Tuesday~♬
Yeah! I'm all fired up now! Let's keep going - I'll set this place on fire with the power of my song! Nekki Basara is definitely going to BOMB!
Poll Vote!
Character: Tetra
Series: The Legend of Zelda: Wind Waker
Character Age: Estimated 10-12
Canon: The Legend of Zelda: Wind Waker is yet another harrowing tale of a boy named Link and his epic quest to save Princess Zelda from the evil clutches of Ganon! Except this time he's not saving Zelda because his sister is the one who gets kidnapped. Apparently, Ganon must not care much about who he kidnaps so long as they're young, blonde, and have pointy ears. Worse still, the entire world is an ocean, which makes following after kidnapped sisters very hard -- unless you happen to have a boat. So, what's a boy to do after he sees his sister snatched up by Ganon's ginormous pet bird and having no boat to speak of? Why, ask the vicious pirate crew that just docked at his island for a ride. Tetra, the captain of the pirate crew, considers this for a split second, says "no," and then is quickly guilted into saying "yes." But, that still doesn't mean she's happy about it...
The most important thing to Tetra is profit. Her normal disposition is to be rather cold and sarcastic with people unless she thinks being cordial will be more beneficial. She'd love to rescue your daughter from the pig-infested doom fortress, sure, but you can bet your ass you'll be shelling out cash by the truck load for it. If you do manage to befriend her, be prepared because she will still let you know if she thinks you're doing something stupid. Despite her tough exterior, It should be noted that Tetra will occasionally do favors for others if she likes them enough, can be guilted into helping others out, and will put aside her pirating duties if the world needs saved. She's a softie, really, but that's not the kind of impression one wants to give when they're the fearless captain of a terrible pirate crew.
Sample Post:
...What? Oh, you have got to be kidding me. Let me see if I've got this right. My "loving" pirate crew has just sent me off to a "surprise vacation summer camp" located in the middle of a swamp -- by CATAPULT no less. And, not only did I plunge into a green lake upon landing, but I was then tossed back into the air by this giant tentacle thin- its name is Marcy? It has a name? You're telling me guys give pet names to the local horrible monsters? I swear, that's like me calling Ganon "Mr. Scruffles!" Do you dress up "Marcy" in pretty pink bows before feeding human sacrifices to it, too? I wouldn't be surprised if you did. This place has already seriously weirded me out, and I haven't even been here for more than half a day yet.
Speaking of weird, shouldn't there be some kind of standard as to who can and can't come to a summer camp? Seriously, the other residents here are absolute nut cases! While I was going around trying to figure out where I am, I was ridiculed for the way my eyes are shaped, got turned into a newt, and have been mistaken for a boy on no less than nine occasions! Honestly, it's like ninety percent of the population here doesn't know that the terms "young" and "female" can be in the same sentence. And, as if the insults weren't bad enough, I turn a corner and BAM! Suddenly, I'm attacked by a random band of ninjas. Granted, they won't be challenging me to "regain their honor" anytime soon, I made sure of that, but I swear it felt like the only reason they attacked me in the first place is because I'm a pirate, you know?
And now you, this fuzzy, white, bat-winged furball, you're telling me the only condolence you can offer me after all that crap I went though is the chance to save my progress? I don't even know what that means, let alone how it's supposed to be helpful at this point. No, I don't know what a "Start Menu" is, and I'm sure my "party members" don't want to be found right now...
...Well, whatever. Listen, you're cute, really, but sitting here trying to figure out how "saving" will help in case I "die" while I'm here is only making the headache I've already got worse. This "Camp Fuck You Die" place may be a giant pain in the butt and have "die" in its title, but there's no way I'm getting offed that quickly. It can't be that hard to stay alive in a swamp full of whiny teenage angst-buckets who miss their mommies. Now, if a super villain like, say, Ganon, were here, then we might have some problems, yeah. But seriously, what are the odds of finding a dark, malicious, inhumane swine in dump like this?
Poll Vote!
Character: Eliot Nightlay
Series: Pandora Hearts
Character Age: Somewhere around 15-16
Canon: Oz Vesalius isn't exactly the luckiest shouta in the world. For his coming-of-age ceremony, he's given a stab in the chest and a shove down into a deep, dark pit called the "Abyss"-- an otherworld where all childhood nightmares come to life. Unfortunately, his only ticket out of this dismal place is a contract with a psycho bunny-girl named Alice, which gets him back into the real world ten years into the future. With various mysterious organizations on his trail and a promise to recover Alice's lost memories, Oz sets out to find the truth behind the adverse turn of events in his life.
Eliot Nightlay is one of the less bizarre people Oz meets along the way...if you compare him to indignant cat-boys, sadistic younger brothers, and one-eyed candy-holics, that is. To be fair, there's nothing really wrong about him, unless you count his inexplicable tendency to get angry and talk in accentuated large, bold font and italics. This happens pretty much every time you hit on all his 'waargh' pings, which may vary from people abusing their power for the wrong things to people behaving like overtly self-righteous fools and cowards. As a nobleman, he's understandably proud of his bloodline and will never back down or run from his battles, but otherwise he lacks tact, is rude and is fairly insulting for someone of his upbringing. Despite all that, Eliot can be a nice and reliable person; it just depends on how you go about cajoling it out of him :)
Note: Eliot carries a rectangular case in which he's got books and his sword and other stuff~
Sample Post:
Haa? What are you, a moron?! How does walking in on your so-called beauty ritual make me the botox salesman you've been waiting for all week?! You're deluded if you think praying to a pile of frayed underwear can give you what you want! Look, I'm not in the mood for any of your asinine explanations about what this botox crap is or how it's going to make your "poor, wrinkled primate ass" look like "sparkly shoujo material"; I'm definitely not here to sell anything and if you make another grab at my case because "you need the confirmation~! ♥", you can be sure that this will be your last warning. I have no interest in dealing with anymore idiotic wildlife; especially not after running into a bunch of stupid birds cackling 'why so serious?' while they made inane jabs at my mouth with sticks.
So instead of wasting my time, why don't you tell me where I can find that piece of trash you call a Director? If that woman didn't use some kind of vapid magic trick to get me stuck on this fetid swampland, I wouldn't have to get involved in all this bullshit. These lowlifes are always the same, they think they can get away with everything just because they've got a name or title to back them up! Well, she's not going to get off easy this time, not when she's challenged me to a duel before dumping me in this place. If she's got the guts to make pathetic dares like these, then she'd better have the same guts to face me now instead of hiding in the shadows like a coward!
What, you don't agree with that? You actually think it's alright for someone to throw down a challenge and pretend it has nothing to do with her afterwards?! You've got to be kidding! Just because you're an ape doesn't mean you can do without pride, and since you're not as unintelligible as any other common primate, you should have more than a semblance of that quality in you! Anyone with dignity will not have a drop of cowardice in their blood; neither will they tremble like a moron or make a monkey out of themselves like what you're doing now. Do you really want to be afraid of some dictatorial woman all your life? So what if you say she's got a zombie army? What can a bunch of rotting undead do to you that you're not already doing to yourself? If you've still got any bit of self-worth left, you won't be leaving your fate to circumstance or giving in without a fight! And you surely won't be suggesting that I'd run away too if I saw the size of that army! Tch, I see how your Director gets her way with anything now; she obviously doesn't need to try very hard.
Well listen up, wimp! I don't care what kind of army this dirty Director of yours has got but if she thinks sending it after me will make me turn my back on an enemy, she's sorely mistaken. Let her come at me with whatever she wants for there is no coward where I am standing! We'll see if her army of walking corpses will be faster than this sword or if this sword will be faster than them. But from there she will definitely see no fear, only the conviction of my sword while I make known to her the name of the House of Nightlay!
Poll Vote!
Applicant #1
Character: Son Goku
Series: Saiyuki
Character Age: Over 500!! but physically about 19
Canon: The plot of Saiyuki can be easily summarized as follows. So a high priest, a half-demon, and a monkey hop into a human-turned-demon's Jeep (that's really a dragon) and head for India to try and stop another high priest's renegade plot to combine science in magic in an unholy union that will surely destroy humanity as we know it (as well as the sanctity of marriage).
The monkey in the middle of this group, there's definitely more to Son Goku than meets the eye. He's really the 500 years old host to an earth-born demi-god whose power level is very easily over 9000, despite the fact that he acts very much like the teenage boy he appears to be, wanting nothing more than food, food, and-you guessed it-more food. Though it seems like Goku eats before thinking, his immaturity and naivety bely a firm resolve and intense determination. Goku is more than willing to stand for what he believes in and come to the aid of his friends, even though he may not fully understand the situation this puts him in, provided, of course, he's not working on an empty stomach.
Sample Post:
Ahh man, why can't anyone ever pick a cool place t'run off to! First th' desert an' now this. It's lucky I found you t'show me around, Mr. Gguruugh, I woulda been toast back there without you. So I gotta say thanks for all th'-agh, hey! Just cuz I said I was toast's no reason t'chew on me! I meant like th' dead kind of toast, not th' kind with butter an' jam an' preserves an' . . . what were we talkin' about again? I guess it's not important. But still, I really appreciate you takin' the time t'help me out! It's been hard enough findin' food t'eat here, not t'mention findin' Sanzo!
You'd think with a forest like th' one here, you could eat some fruit from the trees but once I found a tree that looked like it had fruit on it, some guy kept on yellin' at me for takin' it! If you didn't want anyone t'eat it, then why're you puttin' up signs callin' it "Fruit of the Loom" anyways? Someone's sure got his panties in a bunch.
But lucky for me when I runnin' away from his place, I ran into this great big yellow hippo! First I thought he was gonna steal some of my fruit, but it turns out he was havin' an eatin' contest with some of his hippo friends, an' they said I could compete too! They had sooo much food there! Heh, they may've been callin' themselves hungry hungry hippos but they were no match for me! When it comes t'eatin' no hippo's gonna stop the almighty Son Goku!
So of course I won th' competition, but th' best part of it was that th' hippos told me that as a reward for winnin' I got t'have their special onsen inna barrel all to myself! There's nothin' better than a nice soak after a great big meal. Plus th' bath smelled really tasty. There was all sorts of herbs an' spices an' some carrots an' potatoes an' tomatoes . . . it was more like a stew than a bath. So they didn't really have a reason t'be angry at me when I wound up eatin' it all! An' just cuz I ate their stew was no reason t'dump me out in the lake! Don't those dumb hippos know you're supposed t'wait 45 minute after eatin' before you swim?
But once I got outta th' lake-an' had some really good octopus too!-was about where I found you! So about how long's it gonna be until we get t'where Sanzo's at? Oh, we're there? Man . . . I never woulda thought he'd be stayin' in a great big brick inn like this one. There's so many rooms here it's gonna be hard to find hi-oh! Hey! Mr. Turtle you work here right? Have you seen a guy who's-what? Hey! You stupid turtle, whaddya mean "Your Sanzo is in another castle?!"
Applicant #2
Name: Son Goku
Series: Gensomaden Saiyuki
Age: Appears 18; is actually 518 years old
Canon: When the peace of Shangri-La is destroyed by the "Minus Wave", a forbidden mixture of science demon magic, it's up to Genjou Sanzo and his ragtag group of three demon companions to travel to the West and return things to the way they were. . . . if they can stop fighting long enough to get going. One of these companions is Son Goku. Despite his actual age he is physically and mentally younger than the rest of the group, which means he gets conned into most of the dirty work, with any complaints met with the smack of Sanzo's paper fan.
Constantly hungry, Goku's love of food is as big as his love for fighting. His philosophy is "I fight only for myself", but that doesn't mean he isn't more than willing to fight with and for his friends, either. And while he may sometimes fit the "stupid monkey" nickname he's been given, he's one of the most loyal guys in the group, sticking by everyone and knocking sense into them when they need it. But watch out; if you remove the headband that he wears you'll unleash Goku's true form, known as Seiten Taisei; a berserker unable to distinguish between friend or enemy.
Sample Post:
Ahhh, how do I always get stuck carrying everyone's crap?! If it wasn't for all this junk I wouldn't have fallen behind, and I wouldn't have gotten lost, and I wouldn't have had to worry about some furry guy wanting to wear my headband because he wanted to look pretty and witty and -- GAH! He even called it a crown! What the hell?! Geez, I hope I don't run into him again. Who knows what he'll grab for next!
But now . . . I'm stuck in a swamp that smells really bad. This sucks so hard. Not only is there the whole "I'm lost in the middle of a stinky place" thing, there's all these animals all over the place, too. And they keep . . . looking at me with these weird faces . . . it makes the hair on the back of my neck stand up.
. . . you know, I bet they're hungry. That's why they look like that! Wow, those birds growling over there are making the same noise as my stomach. Wait, do birds growl? Eh, whatever. Yeah, you heard me! Stop growling, you're just gonna remind me of how hungry I am! DON'T GROWL LOUDER! Stupid birds, I'll eat you if I have to! Don't think I don't know how to hunt! I'll catch you and roast you over a fire to prove it if I have to! Mmmm . . . fried chicken. Too bad there isn't anything else around I could eat chicken with. I thought I saw some plants that might taste good while back, but there was all this salty white gunk on 'em. I like salt on my food, but that stuff tasted nasty.
Ugh, I don't care if I'm in the middle of nowhere, there's gotta be some place to eat in this stupid swamp! It doesn't really look like there would be, but looks can be deceiving, right? Maybe there's a village! I don't have any money, but . . . I'm really hungry! And you know what they say about a guy who's desperate for food.
-- dammit, you again?! I told you the headband was off limits, man! Don't make me -- what? Yeah, I said I'm really hungry but -- whoa whoa WAIT t-that isn't what I meant! I know a perverted kappa who MIGHT do something like that if he got desperate, but I won't lower myself that far just for some food! I'd rather go hungry!
. . . you've got dumplings? And they're fresh? Hey, hold on! Are you even listening to what I'm saying? I'm not gonna -- . . . if I do that, you'll give me all I can eat? Really?
. . .
Alright, I'll be your pretty princess. But don't touch the crown!
Poll Vote!