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No matter what I do, I don't think I am capable of feeling complete in this adult life that I've made for myself.  For some reason, my dream of having a child and a marriage are different than the reality of the two.  Technically, I am not married yet but there is a rock on my finger and the fruit of my loin is sleeping unsoundly in the next room ( Read more... )

Vic, Emma, and I went to the Pie Kitchen tonight ten minutes before it was supposed to close.  Vic had came over to the apt to see Emma and let me rest a bit and visit.  It was really nice to spend time w/ her, as much as I thought we would probably never really talk again after we moved out of our old apt. we get along so well it would be a shame ( Read more... )

I've been thinking.  I just read 'Meantime Girl', the post on Jess's eljay and well, I remember when I was one of those, not so much the secret lover, but the chick that only got calls whenever a date stood up one of my boys or if some bitch had dumped one of my boys, and I was the ears and the first to say, 'Let's go get beer.'  Then somehow I got ( Read more... )

Graco. This may not mean anything or very little to those of you who aren't around babies or kids or whatever...but to mean, Graco means God. Well, BabyGod. Graco makes a whole line of infant stuff...carseats, strollers, swings, etc. We have a bunch of BabyGod in our apt. And right now, our sweet little Emma is being pushed by BabyGod's little ( Read more... )

Matthew Moser, my big brother, passed away on April 16, 2003. Probably one of the most memorable and painful days of my life. Two years later, my boyfriend Brandon is holding our almost one-month old daughter Emma as I'm clearing out her baby crib for her first night of sleeping alone in her room. We had been keeping lots of presents and stuffed ( Read more... )

I will be in TH for the week so I'll probably be off of here. Anyway, everything is kosher right now minus me not wanting to leave BMB. I hope I don't like, cry, LoL. Okay, I will, I already know. LoL. Well, I'm out, talk with you all soon and if you're near TH and I haven't seen you in forever and you haven't met Emma, please gimme a call if ( Read more... )

So I went back to bed. Emma was sleeping like a little angel in my place, all snuggled up next to Brandon, ultra dangerous but it was cute. So I put her in her bassinet and laid back down w/ Brandon. I cried w/ my back to him. I'm good at the silent cry now. I fell back asleep. I woke up around 10 and fed and changed Emma, watched her little ( Read more... )

I'm going home on Saturday for a week w/ my family. Brandon will be here all by himself. He's coming to get me the following Saturday ( Read more... )

So I'm sitting at home supposedly 'resting' b/c Kim and Larry and everyone else that didn't give birth to Emma says I look 'tired' 'exhausted' 'insert anything that's supposedly a nicer way of saying, hey Jen, you look like shit into these quotes'.  I'm going to call Kim soon, I can't do this anymore, I want to see my baby, LoL!  I understand I get ( Read more... )