I've really been waiting tables for too long.

[canby]

I can't hold back the smartass comments much longer. The same idiotic questions --

"Do you know where the bathroom is? " No, and I really need to go!

"Is this the menu?" (while they're holding it open and reading it) - No, that's just for show. You need the secret password for the real menu.And tonight, a particular customer asked about the

Comments

[davew0071]

hee hee hee.

Just like Mad Magazine's Snappy Answers to Stupid Questions.

I always try to frame my questions so they won't come out embarrassing like that. I mean, "Where's the restroom, please?" is soooo much better than "Do you know where the restroom is?" Or, worse, "Do you have a restroom?"

"No, there's just a trough next to the dishwasher and everyone unloads there. Cop a squat!"

[sadillac]

Oh, I so understand. . .

I've gotten to the point that when people ask me, "Do you know what time it is?" I say "yes," and walk away.

[billdo1]

Oh god, if you ever have a table with a sense of humor that asks the bathroom question, you have to give the "No, and I really need to go!" answer.

[zette]

Ohhh..try the Iron Maiden Peach Cobbler or the Poke Your Eye out with a Sharp Ice Cream on a Stick. Both excruciating.

[canby]

Oh, and the same guy wanted to take home the dessert leftovers "do you have a special box to put ice cream in so it won't melt?" Yes, we call it a "freezer". Really shoulda said that.....