indifferent

[candime]

I am beginning to realize that the closer u are to someone, the more they will hurt u. Someone had always told me that, its just...another dose of reality. So the choice becomes up to you, if you feel like its worth it. To be with someone, to endure the pain they will cause you as well as the good times. Is it weird to be with someone, or even

Comments

Wooooah hold on a second

[somethingspekal]

Rachel thats not good. You can't, in all reality, act/look/ whatever like someone else, marry Eric and expect it to work! Sooner or later you'll go nuts!

And the trick to people like that, is to be yourself and KILL them with kindness. Remember, no one decides wether God loves you or not. No one decides what "kind" of Christian you are.

The only one who can judge you is the one above you.

And if Eric cannot accept you for you, then I'm sorry to say sweets, but don't marry that guy.

I'm glad you've changed a tad and your on a better track, but ... if you have to FAKE to be someone...

Well... the Rachel I knew hated fake people.

I don't think thats changed much.

Re: Wooooah hold on a second

[candime]

You're right, I know. I guess I'm just waiting to get our own place and stuff so that I don't feel so trapped in "their ways" <- his parents. He does except me but the hardest thing, I think, is him being able to understand me. He used to understand me (at least it felt like it) but now he has just...idk what happened. I certainly wouldn't be with him if he was a close-minded ass. lol to put it bluntly.

Yeah, I hated fake people, I still do. But at the same time I know that I'm being fake too. And it all began when we all met eachother (his family.) I just get really shy and then they have this impression of me after that...When they say stuff I DO speak up with my opinions but it feels like his parents only hear what they want to. I suppose they are just one of those stuck-in-their-ways old Sourthern ppl.

Im just really pensive right now trying to figure out who I wanna create myself to be and how that will work with everything thats going on......I don't really know what to do..I'm praying for God to speak to me.